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MEMORIES – CHAPTER 5

FLASH-BACK

“Brian. There’s something I want to tell you.” Jimmy told me.
We were in the living room of our house with Matt, Val, Johnny, Zacky and the Berry Brothers. I looked around and saw that Zacky was holding Johnny’s hand and smiling towards Jimmy.
“You know Brian, I love you a lot. Since that day I met you, I couldn’t do anything but think of you. I want to live the rest of my life with you and if you do me this favor, I promise you I will be by your side until the day you die.” He got down on one knee in front of me. “Brian Elwin Haner Jr, will you marry me?”
The room was now silent, everyone waiting for my answer. My tearful eyes met his hopeful ones.
“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you!” I said happily, getting on the floor next to him and hugging him tightly.
Everyone else cheered for us as we kissed. I felt like the happiest man alive and I knew now that Jimmy would stay with me forever.

END OF FLASH-BACK

Obviously, it wasn’t true. He had left me even after he promised me he would stay with me until the end. The tears were falling down my cheeks as I looked at the knife in my hand. That was it, this time no one could stop me, I just had to do it. Jimmy couldn’t stop me this time. He wasn’t there to stop me.

FLASH-BACK

I was crying harder than I had in my entire life. Jimmy was still sleeping as I got up from our bed. The house was dark and my sobs echoed in the silence. I got to the bathroom and looked through the medicine cabinet, trying to find pills. Anything could work as long as I could join my grandfather. I was happy with Jimmy but I couldn’t face my grandfather’s death. I tried to make no noise as I searched through the bottles to find something. I finally found the sleep drugs that I used when I had insomnia. That could work. I took a few in my hand and looked at them. I was slightly afraid but nothing would stop me from doing it just as nothing could stop my tears. At least, that’s what I thought.

“Brian! What the fuck is- Oh my God!” Jimmy screamed as he saw the enormous amount of pills I was about to ingest. “Brian, please!” He put the pills back in the bottle and put it away from me. “Come with me, babe.” He said as he hugged me tightly.

He got downstairs to the kitchen and I followed him. He searched around to find what he was looking for and he started making hot chocolate with marshmallows. He knew it always made me feel better. He handed me a cup and took the other one. He then walk to the living room and sat down on the couch, gently pulling me with him. He placed his cup on the table and I did the same. He then pulled me into a hug. I put my head on his chest and he rested his chin on the top of my head.

“I love you Brian. I just don’t want to lose you. I know it’s hard and I can’t really understand it but I know it must be really hard for you. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, but you need to go on. That’s what he would want you to do. I’m sure.” I was sobbing into his chest, trying to hold onto him as much as I could. He took as deep breath before he continued. “I love you Brian. I really love you and I don’t ever want to lose you. That’s why I’m doing this. Now please, stop crying. It’s too hard to see you this way.” He said, his voice breaking by the end of the sentence. “Damn, you’re going to make me cry too.”
“I’m sorry.” I said lifting my head up a bit to see a single tear roll down his cheek.

I wiped my tears away and took my hot chocolate from the table. We both sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking our hot chocolate.
“Jimmy. I understand why you did this. I’m not mad at you.” I said. “It’s normal that you don’t want to lose me and I just want to thank you for that. I’ve just been stupid.”
“I love you Bri’. Forever and always. Just remember it.”
“I love you too Jim-Jam. Forever and always.”

END OF FLASH-BACK

I spotted the picture on my bedside table. I picked it up and looked at it. It was one of Jimmy and I. We took it about two years ago. We were at the beach with Johnny and Zacky. We both looked so happy and I remembered that we were actually really happy.

FLASH-BACK

“What the fuck Jimmy?” Johnny shouted after Jimmy splashed him and Zacky for about the thousandth time that day. “I can’t kiss my boyfriend now?”
“No!” Jimmy answered smiling.
Johnny jumped on him like he was trying to drown him. Every time Johnny and Zacky tried to kiss, Jimmy would splash them which was starting to annoy the smaller of the two. I saw Jimmy go under the water and Johnny proudly went back to his boyfriend and finally kissed him. He probably thought he was the one who made Jimmy go under the water even if we all know that it was impossible. I looked at them and started to think they were just so cute together. And that was true. They fit so well together, it’s just like they were made to be together. At that moment, I felt two arms wrap around my waist and drag me under the water. I got back to the surface instantly to see Jimmy laughing.
“You should have seen your face!” He said in a fit of laughter.
“But, my hair! They’re all ugly now!” I said with a false sad look on my face.
“Come on babe. Stop pouting you always look great!” He said, smiling before he caught my lips in a passionate kiss. “I love you Bri, forever and always.”

END OF FLASH-BACK

That was the same day the picture was taken.
“I love you too Jimmy, forever and always.” I said, just as in my memory.

I looked back at the knife that was still in my hand. I took a deep breath and pushed the knife deep, right into my chest, where I thought my heart was. I let out a loud scream as the pain shot through me but it was worth it. I would see Jimmy soon. The pain started to subside as blood got out of the wound in my chest and my breathing started to slow down. That was it. It was the end of my life. I was dying.

Description
MEMORIES – CHAPTER 5

FLASH-BACK

“Brian. There’s something I want to tell you.” Jimmy told me.
We were in the living room of our house with Matt, Val, Johnny, Zacky and the Berry Brothers. I looked around and saw that Zacky was holding Johnny’s hand and smiling towards Jimmy.
“You know Brian, I love you a lot. Since that day I met you, I couldn’t do anything but think of you. I want to live the rest of my life with you and if you do me this favor, I promise you I will be by your side until the day you die.” He got down on one knee in front of me. “Brian Elwin Haner Jr, will you marry me?”
The room was now silent, everyone waiting for my answer. My tearful eyes met his hopeful ones.
“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you!” I said happily, getting on the floor next to him and hugging him tightly.
Everyone else cheered for us as we kissed. I felt like the happiest man alive and I knew now that Jimmy would stay with me forever.

END OF FLASH-BACK

Obviously, it wasn’t true. He had left me even after he promised me he would stay with me until the end. The tears were falling down my cheeks as I looked at the knife in my hand. That was it, this time no one could stop me, I just had to do it. Jimmy couldn’t stop me this time. He wasn’t there to stop me.

FLASH-BACK

I was crying harder than I had in my entire life. Jimmy was still sleeping as I got up from our bed. The house was dark and my sobs echoed in the silence. I got to the bathroom and looked through the medicine cabinet, trying to find pills. Anything could work as long as I could join my grandfather. I was happy with Jimmy but I couldn’t face my grandfather’s death. I tried to make no noise as I searched through the bottles to find something. I finally found the sleep drugs that I used when I had insomnia. That could work. I took a few in my hand and looked at them. I was slightly afraid but nothing would stop me from doing it just as nothing could stop my tears. At least, that’s what I thought.

“Brian! What the fuck is- Oh my God!” Jimmy screamed as he saw the enormous amount of pills I was about to ingest. “Brian, please!” He put the pills back in the bottle and put it away from me. “Come with me, babe.” He said as he hugged me tightly.

He got downstairs to the kitchen and I followed him. He searched around to find what he was looking for and he started making hot chocolate with marshmallows. He knew it always made me feel better. He handed me a cup and took the other one. He then walk to the living room and sat down on the couch, gently pulling me with him. He placed his cup on the table and I did the same. He then pulled me into a hug. I put my head on his chest and he rested his chin on the top of my head.

“I love you Brian. I just don’t want to lose you. I know it’s hard and I can’t really understand it but I know it must be really hard for you. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, but you need to go on. That’s what he would want you to do. I’m sure.” I was sobbing into his chest, trying to hold onto him as much as I could. He took as deep breath before he continued. “I love you Brian. I really love you and I don’t ever want to lose you. That’s why I’m doing this. Now please, stop crying. It’s too hard to see you this way.” He said, his voice breaking by the end of the sentence. “Damn, you’re going to make me cry too.”
“I’m sorry.” I said lifting my head up a bit to see a single tear roll down his cheek.

I wiped my tears away and took my hot chocolate from the table. We both sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking our hot chocolate.
“Jimmy. I understand why you did this. I’m not mad at you.” I said. “It’s normal that you don’t want to lose me and I just want to thank you for that. I’ve just been stupid.”
“I love you Bri’. Forever and always. Just remember it.”
“I love you too Jim-Jam. Forever and always.”

END OF FLASH-BACK

I spotted the picture on my bedside table. I picked it up and looked at it. It was one of Jimmy and I. We took it about two years ago. We were at the beach with Johnny and Zacky. We both looked so happy and I remembered that we were actually really happy.

FLASH-BACK

“What the fuck Jimmy?” Johnny shouted after Jimmy splashed him and Zacky for about the thousandth time that day. “I can’t kiss my boyfriend now?”
“No!” Jimmy answered smiling.
Johnny jumped on him like he was trying to drown him. Every time Johnny and Zacky tried to kiss, Jimmy would splash them which was starting to annoy the smaller of the two. I saw Jimmy go under the water and Johnny proudly went back to his boyfriend and finally kissed him. He probably thought he was the one who made Jimmy go under the water even if we all know that it was impossible. I looked at them and started to think they were just so cute together. And that was true. They fit so well together, it’s just like they were made to be together. At that moment, I felt two arms wrap around my waist and drag me under the water. I got back to the surface instantly to see Jimmy laughing.
“You should have seen your face!” He said in a fit of laughter.
“But, my hair! They’re all ugly now!” I said with a false sad look on my face.
“Come on babe. Stop pouting you always look great!” He said, smiling before he caught my lips in a passionate kiss. “I love you Bri, forever and always.”

END OF FLASH-BACK

That was the same day the picture was taken.
“I love you too Jimmy, forever and always.” I said, just as in my memory.

I looked back at the knife that was still in my hand. I took a deep breath and pushed the knife deep, right into my chest, where I thought my heart was. I let out a loud scream as the pain shot through me but it was worth it. I would see Jimmy soon. The pain started to subside as blood got out of the wound in my chest and my breathing started to slow down. That was it. It was the end of my life. I was dying.