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MalaxTC [2018-01-16 22:00:29 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

Not bad! Looks like ya put in alot of effort into it and came out great!
I love the creativity you used for the flowers on the lower panel for the letters and all

Your technique on brushing has improved, even the small details on the flower petals and characters as well as the background as well as the layout with the returntale logo

Another great feature is the panel break ups go for a more nontraditional manner, since most i've seen personally go with straight forward rectangles for panels, however yours go for a more broken up set

However, the impact of the whole scene for me personally is not too strong, the colors lack a bit of saturation in my opinion for the intensity of the battle that takes place at the end of it all. But that might just be me and my love for intense colors ;>_>


All in all I love this comic page so far and can't wait to see what's to come and your art evolving as time goes on

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storiesforsansgirls [2018-01-02 13:41:53 +0000 UTC]

im not one that's the best for critiquing, but okay.  here i go, ima try.

i noticed tat the perspective on frisk is wonderful.  the way they stand is very realistic, whereas the proportions are great as well.
though, the proportions on asriel aren't the best.  despite the way he looks in-game, he still feels a little stiff in this.  his head looks small, and his arms look stubby. the wings look great in my opinion, though.
the flowers...  i adore those flowers, too.
though maybe get the pixel emulator font for the text.

hot this helped, hahah...

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