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BlazeRocket — Evo Everlasting 068
Published: 2009-08-29 00:49:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 4892; Favourites: 38; Downloads: 21
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Description
This page alternated between me feeling "ok" about my inking aaaand having mildly retarded inking come out of my pen.I have inking issues >.>
Sooooo yeah. On a more basic front, still having issues with... *cough*everything*cough* let's call it perspective. In that people on the same level are being drastically different sizes.
Blearg. I don't really like this page.
First Page
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Chapter 0
Interlude
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Comments: 13
I've read your whole comic so far and I am really enjoying it. Everything is well drawn and I love how you portray the characters.
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Hello my dearest dear one of dearhood. Time again for "A Very RainRach Critique."
First of all, let me compliment you on trying your hand at expressions. Attempting expressions beyond your comfort zone is a wonderful joy and I think was rather successful. Pietro's WTH faces are fab. FABULOUS I SAY. And I love Wanda's expressions throughout, they're spot-on Wanda. And that is win. Also, brother-sister moments are hilariously adorable. Wanda. You bitch. XD
Okay, critiquing, I already mention this to you through IM but, bubble-placement, a LITTLE weird. Others did not seem to have a problem but I got a wee bit confused on who made who breakfast. I think it's just the curved tail of that speech bubble that SOMEHOW MESSED ME UP. Maybe moving the whole speech bubble a little more into Pietro's panel or making the tail a little less curved. This is very minor though as I seem to be one of the only ones who may have had issues with that. Though on general speech bubble bitching, it's tough to see exactly who says a certain phrase. Is it Jamie or Jubes? Kitty's speech bubble COULD still be Scott and Rahne's is just...something you really have to follow. Just moving them ('cept Rahne's) closer to the speaker, would help with clarity. For Rahne's, I suggest overlapping the top of that kitchen counter with the tail of the bubble. Speech bubbles should almost ALWAYS be overlapping everything. ALWAYS ON TOP. ((TEE HEE))
Tiny hand syndrome attacks in panels 1 and 3. Remedy? Draw more of the hand. Show a little more of the back or palm depending. It makes the hand look a little more liks a hand. Panel 3 might just need some lengthening of the fingers, it looks like it's caught in between foreshortening and no. Panel 2's hand, however, is marvelous.
I love Wanda's nose in panel 4. Love.
Pietro's smile in panel 1 is a banana. I just noticed that.
Perspective on that table is a little wonky as it looks like everything should be sliding and spilling to one side of the table. The perspective of the table and the counter should match up. Freddy, at least, looks more manageable.
Watch for a tangent between panels 2 and 3 as Pietro and Wanda are turning into Siamese twins. Raising Pietro up a little more or lowering Wanda would help it not seem so bad. You can also widen the gutters a tad and that'll help too. Also...what happened to the remote? Wasn't there a remote on the counter there? *nit-picky Rach...is nit-picky*
I raise my hands in HAPPY JOY to see Wanda's FULL-ON PROFILE. No cutting off at the ear and see? SEE? See how much better that looks? DO YOU SEE? It looks great. Not awkward at all. Love. GOOD JOB.
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Oooh, can't wait to see how Maximoff's gonna weasel his way outta this 
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Is that a Rahne with no pig-tails, sitting in the window corner?
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Yes. She hasn't put her hair up yet. ^_^
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What can I say? That little Scot sure is a charmer
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Scott's.... face......
<<<<<<<<<<<<33333333333333333333333333xinfinity!
I really love everyone's expressions in this! You didn't miss a beat! I could just sit here and stare at it for hours.....
Oh, and I love the fact that PIETRO made Wanda's breakfast. Adorable. Yeah, it is.
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Great!Just Great!
You're a great artist!
I love your gallery!
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Lol, I thought nothing could top Pietro's face in the second panal till I got to the last panal! Lil'bugger is so worried people will find out he isn't a complete prick and all his hard work to cultivate his image will be undone.
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I adore Pietro in this! Poor Pietro! Got Toast-Jacked again! I love this! Your so good!
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The holding-toast-in-mouth action is incredible!
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