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carrinth — ME: Fatherly Advice

Published: 2012-05-03 15:44:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 7413; Favourites: 129; Downloads: 31
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Description I have this weird headcanon that Garrus' father is an excellent cop, but a terrible father. Not in the physical or mental abuse sort of way, but in that he totally does not get his children. He tries his best but he ends up being "one of those" weird fathers that embarrass their children by trying to be cool.

It makes me lol.

So here is Vakarian Sr. trying to warn his estranged son of the dangers of cross-species intercourse. With old C-Sec case files. YARR.

Mass Effect (c) Bioware
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Comments: 31

QueenDreamscape [2016-05-01 18:43:48 +0000 UTC]

Heh heh. Poor Garrus Bab

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Fishbelly [2015-10-03 19:26:03 +0000 UTC]

Mr. Vakarian... that's not something you talk about! Poor Garrus. He has one of THOSE fathers.
I wish you got to meet Garrus's dad in the game. I wanna see this interaction!

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Pejaera [2015-09-11 13:13:19 +0000 UTC]

oh my god this is epic hahaaa. i always wondered how his familly reacted to there liaison.. so this is great

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evilsquee [2013-01-12 07:49:59 +0000 UTC]

Good to see embarrassing parents translate across species. I'm not sure why but I have a feeling Garrus got his romantic "skills" from his dad. All professional C-sec cop but when he first starts trying to court the future Mrs. Vakarian he starts stumbling all over himself.

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Artificer-Urza [2012-05-06 01:32:35 +0000 UTC]

How did I miss this? Seriously, how?
I bet poppa Vakarian is doing it on purpose. Why? For the lulz, of course.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to Artificer-Urza [2012-05-06 09:06:30 +0000 UTC]

He has some troll-ish tendencies. But I think this time he genuinely wants to inform his son. But goes about it in a strange way.

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SchizoChick [2012-05-04 21:00:43 +0000 UTC]

Between Papa!Vakarian's face/dialogue and the sound effect "Beep bloop," my lulz will never end.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to SchizoChick [2012-05-05 15:44:24 +0000 UTC]

Lol I'm not really sure how he'd look like. A lot of assumption. Maybe I should do moar

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SchizoChick In reply to carrinth [2012-05-05 16:09:08 +0000 UTC]

"Please, miss, may I have some moar?" XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheButler414 [2012-05-04 17:02:04 +0000 UTC]

I'm not a crazed gunman dad, I'm a rebel!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to TheButler414 [2012-05-05 07:46:16 +0000 UTC]

What's the differences, Garrus??

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheButler414 In reply to carrinth [2012-05-06 04:35:52 +0000 UTC]

Well, the difference being one's a job and the other's mental sickness!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Wallross223 In reply to TheButler414 [2012-05-06 16:43:28 +0000 UTC]

But which is which?

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AmethystSadachbia [2012-05-03 21:30:13 +0000 UTC]

Your Mr. Vakarian is a lot more tolerant than my Mr. Vakarian.

Dad: "HOW COULD YOU BESMIRCH THE FAMILY NAME BY DATING A DIRTY DAMN HUMAN?!?!"
Garrus: "Uhm, would this be bad time to mention my family name is no longer Vakarian? I changed my name to Garrus Shepard when we got married."
Dad:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to AmethystSadachbia [2012-05-04 04:00:04 +0000 UTC]

LOL. Although I think Shepard being a Spectre would annoy him more. He haaaates them.

Not sure what his opinion on humans would be. Probably average. Since Garrus doesn't seem to mention it much.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

AmethystSadachbia In reply to carrinth [2012-05-04 04:32:21 +0000 UTC]

Daddy Vakarian may well have known people who served during the Relay 314 incident, which may influence his opinion as well In my headcanon, the Turian councilor had an elder brother who was killed during one of the skirmishes, and that's part of why he's so angry anytime Shepard is around. (The other part is due to the fact he's old and constipated.)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to AmethystSadachbia [2012-05-04 05:00:09 +0000 UTC]

Somehow I felt that it was humans who made a bigger deal of that 3 month skirmish more than the turians. I mean, turians called it an "incident" whereas humanity labeled it an all out "war".

If anything, Daddy Vakarian might possibly have more issue with Tali or Wrex since C-Sec has been shown to be somewhat biased against quarians and krogans.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

illyria14 [2012-05-03 20:33:54 +0000 UTC]

How come your all your headcanons are the same as my headcanons?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to illyria14 [2012-05-04 03:56:08 +0000 UTC]

We are all equally mad. Kindred spirits in our madness!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

illyria14 In reply to carrinth [2012-05-04 08:31:05 +0000 UTC]

Wooh-hoo!

Or you have some sort of mindreading power!

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Ether101 [2012-05-03 18:13:50 +0000 UTC]

This is one of those "...and that's where babies come form...for MACHINES!" moments, huh?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to Ether101 [2012-05-04 03:57:06 +0000 UTC]

At least he didn't bust out the sock puppets.

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Ether101 In reply to carrinth [2012-05-04 07:54:45 +0000 UTC]

[link]

Those puppets?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to Ether101 [2012-05-06 11:26:08 +0000 UTC]

Yesssss.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ether101 In reply to carrinth [2012-05-06 16:03:11 +0000 UTC]

Spiders, the Joker, Kamen Rider and puppets a deadly combination.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Corbie [2012-05-03 17:54:36 +0000 UTC]

LOL! I always assumed Garrus didn't tell his family about his cross-species romance to avoid a scene like this.

I do really wonder what Garrus' sister was like, too.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to Corbie [2012-05-04 03:55:24 +0000 UTC]

I honestly think they were close. Perhaps they drifted apart when they grew up and went on to do different things.

Although I suppose her existance ingame confirms that turian females exist. OOOH!

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broctopjay [2012-05-03 17:08:33 +0000 UTC]

Carrinth, I come to you for weird, crack ideas on my favorite franchises.

This picture did not disappoint. I loled in real life.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to broctopjay [2012-05-04 03:52:49 +0000 UTC]

I am pleased by this. YESSS.

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gholateg [2012-05-03 16:53:42 +0000 UTC]

"Son, i picked up one of those Shepard vI's for you, so yo ucan practice..."
Dad...
"I mean they do that thing with the face hole right? what's THAT like?"
DAD!!


orr...

I forwarded you a catalog for quarian suits...
...why?
*Spicy* Suits...
...Dammit dad.
*Eyebrow waggle*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

carrinth In reply to gholateg [2012-05-04 03:52:18 +0000 UTC]

And this is why Garrus ran off with Shepard at the drop of a hat all three times. To escape his well-meaning but obtuse father.

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