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carvingbackbone — isabelle leigh.
Published: 2009-09-25 10:13:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 1052; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 56
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dedicated to my little Isabelle. My Izzi you've seen in:[this will likely be the last of the purple dress/outdoor scene series eve though there are many I want to use to convey a message; I may come back to them later. For now, this is for my Izzi Leigh and I have a purpose for this]
Well it might as well count for something,
For me to suffer for a better day;
And not the masquerades of the many.
I think I'll skip past all the drama queens;
And let them amuse themselves with shallow conversation.
Well it might as well count for something;
Because this patient heart's getting bored with life.
Regret's my only company when I see you,
And I'm backed up at the borderline.
I'm cut short of moving on again;
And why do I, said why do I, consider this hard?
Do you miss me at all?
Isabelle takes the back seat to oblivion.
The quiet type of emotion
And, God I wish her well...
Isabelle paints a masterpiece in color
And it's black and white underneath..
And if all her friends could show her
What it means to be loved.
ThrivingIvory:Isabelle
This is your song love. The wish that I could stare through your being, erase all that negligent pain and inevitable disappointment you've felt everyday you've been alive. And, I want you to smile. Breathe the flowers and the life. And, we can where dresses if you're too afraid to try something that's not the ' perfect ' mold. But, I can also teach you to be true to you and you don't have to go unnoticed -- and most importantly, you don't have to make a scene just to be acknowledged. You are beautiful. You are loved. And, you have no idea. Insecurity is all you feel and I wish I could erase it with a hug and a lifetime with reassurances. I will show you what it means to be loved. I love you unconditionally. God our Saviour loves you to the earth and back. You are ALWAYS seen in His eyes. Never forgotten. You count for more than just "something". You count for so much more than you could know. I stare into you and hurt SO deeply with misunderstanding how you could be so sorely neglected. It perplexes me. But, you'll never have to walk this path alone ever again.
And,
I love you.
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Comments: 48
Awesome picture, as always. You have beautiful eyes, and a very cute haircut. I like the setting you chose for this picture, and the purple dress is nice. I like how it's dignified but doesn't cause you to blend into the background.
OMG, you're looking at the camera! This undoubtedly makes this shot unique. Actually, I'm going to critique this in particular. You look all serious staring at the camera and being posed. But it's all good. I'm a big fan of your "not looking at the camera" pics. I like the spontaneity you express in your other pictures.
The other thing I noticed in conjunction with this was a reflection in your left eye. I can't tell what it is exactly, but it could be the edge of the lens of the camera. Since I will assume for this instance, you were wanting to look at the camera, you might be able to avoid this type of eye reflection by shooting in softer light (perhaps in evening). You might also try using a tripod and setting the camera for a slow sync flash. This will cause your eyes to dilate slightly (which will help reduce red-eye flash and pupil reflection) and additionally cameras that have this feature will also leave the shutter open a bit longer to catch more color and detail.
All in all, this is an excellent picture. I'm sure Isabelle will love it.
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thank you for the critique.
the while vertical line youre seeing in my left eye is actually a while pole/beam that supports my front porch. (second thought you mentioned reducing red-eye flash -- and, i'm not sure if that means a different thing to you; but i certainly don't use an actual 'camera flash' ever. that's like, photography sin, lol -- but perhaps you were referring to something else)
i'm not quite sure either, ha, if you were saying don't look in the camera as you spent more time saying this looked posed and the lots of other thoughts on those photos wear i'm not looking in the camera...? haha, i couldn't quite tell your personal preference
thank you very much for your words and thoughts here. means most that you took the time to critique at all
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Most of it probably could be summed up as preference.
I only mentioned the reduction of red-eye since I suggested shooting in lower light earlier, and lower light and flash could cause red-eye. I rarely use flash myself unless I'm shooting in complete black at night.
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aah, gotcha
just wanted to clear questions, not nit-pick! thank you again
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Some not accurate moves here while making this picture... it's inferior eyelids(Lingvo gave me this translation 
...it's as for not pro naked eye...dirty job actually
But eyes made gorgeous
And You're pretty!
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okay, i cannot lie that this really doesn't make sense,
but can you tell me what's wrong with my eyelids or collar bone?
i also didn't understand "it's as for not pro naked eye..dirty job actually" .. could you try again to explain yourself differently?
i know english isn't your first language,
but if you could at least try again differently, i'm still confused.
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There's nothing wrong with Your eyelids or collar bone!
It's how they look in picture!
Collarbone is gray on picture.Eyelids were accidentally highlighted.Thats it
"it's as for not pro naked eye..dirty job actually"
Ive seen this mistakes from first look on this picture?without looking closely!it's flaring!Got it?
I will try too improve my English
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...and...You are painter,aren't you?Where are your paintings? I see only pictures of You
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i'd love to know better what you'd meant by this.
and i'm hardly a painter, but just a little here and there sometimes.
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Kristie? Is there something on your right upper arm just below your sleeve? Your journal has made me paranoid.
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hmmmph .. i think your imagination can answer that
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I don't like that at all.
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Izzy is a beautiful girl. I really hope she smiles soon. I'm sure she hasn't lost her smile.
~~~
Beauty in a nightlight
Your face upon a stone
Simple faith, and a big heart
The One above won't leave you alone
He'll keep you, making sure your days are bright
As bright as the Moon that shines down, giving you Light
And in the darkest hours, when the night will show its powers
Don't be afraid, little one. Your light will illuminate.
And His grace will be with you, every step.
So don't fear. I'm always with you.
Child of Heaven. I adore you.
~End~
~~~
That poem's for Izzy. I do hope she likes it. She's a beautiful girl. I hope she knows that.
And I love this photo of you Kristie. It's lovely. And I mean that.
~Josh~
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aw, josh,
that was so soo sweet.
as always.
you have no idea what that means to me.
and i sent your words to izzi
i KNOW she'll appreciate it when she reads it
you're too too good to me.
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thank you.
i hope that izzy knows she's not alone.
that's a promise too.
hehe^^ i love you Kristie. 
*paints you a pretty picture with snow falling outside the neighbours window on a snowy winter day*
winter's gonna be here soon.
~Josh~
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aw, it looks BEAUTIFUL!
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yay^-^
im glad.
~Josh~
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aw, aren't you sweet
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i just tell it like it is sistah lol
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you have a brilliant expression in this one..so quirky. not quite happy, but not sad either...i like it
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hahaha, i know.
thank you though
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I like LOVE your eyes...and piercings and ...everything else...holy crap your pretty
sadly I can''t say muhc more...though I do wish for things ot be better for her and yourself. hug her meh please 
gosh Kristie you are such an amazing person...
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aw, sheesh -- i can't thank you enough!
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aw, shpanks!
and i definitely!!!
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Wow 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"Isabelle paints a masterpiece in color
And it's black and white underneath.."
Enough colorful paint can hide almost anything, or at least distract people from noticing what is underneath.
Have you ever seen the movie "Pleasantville"? [link] It uses the idea of living in black and white vs. living in color throughout the movie. The people in the movie get pulled from drab black and white lives into more emotionally varied lives in color. I hope Izzie can really live in a world of color, not just wear it as a mask.
"And if all her friends could show her
What it means to be loved."
Does she love herself? I suspect that she doesn't much. It is very hard to grasp that anyone can love you if you don't love yourself. So, keep chipping away at her shell until you find the girl inside.
"how you could be so sorely neglected."
Being ignored by self-absorbed fools or overshadowed by other people's drama only reflects poorly on them. It has nothing to do with her quality and value.
Remind Izzie that white tigers rule.
Please pass out hugs all around
yes, yes, i know -- i looked at the camera in so many of these shots believe it or not -- same with the following shoot.
i think a lot of it has to do with having spent so much time in Indiana and not wanted to come of as shy or distant (my aspergers obviously has me stare away and not ever ever ever look anyone in the eye) .. but beyond that there's so much fear that i hold ever looking someone in the eye .. and for once I wasn't afraid. i wanted to connect. i don't want to "hide" anymore. i'm ready for people to "know" me and stop hiding emotions and feelings. and i miss out on so MUCH of the world just looking away or not paying closer attention to the things i want to delve into.
as for the black and white; i think that's where we all feel we are. we've been "colourful" for everyone. and the PERFECT colours too. we're all kinda drained of colour .. of life .. especially Izzi. (nothing good enough, just ignored, dismissed) but, she's my little masterpiece. or, she will be.
and yes, i've seen Pleastantville; though I must admit, i was in i think middle school and hardly remember it. ...how ironic -- izzi's 13. middle school. ....lemme ponder that for a bit.
...i know izz doesn't love herself. i know it. she hates herself actually. but she'd never say that out loud because she's be condemned for 'being negative'. so, even though we love her, it's like you said -- she doesn't imagine how that could EVER be possible. but she's coming around especially watching some of the 'big kids' turn some of their self-hatred into self-acceptance. we're having a *mild* domino effect in that.
annnnd, izz reads anything that has her name on it; so you can be sure she heard
[ps. i can hear this super suuuuper quite whisper toward the floor going 'my name doesn't have an E in it..' ...she'd never say it out loud though. ..i just caught the mutter!]
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"there's so much fear that i hold ever looking someone in the eye .. and for once I wasn't afraid"
Wonderful, I hoped that was what it meant.
In Pleasantville, those living black and white lives have rather neutral emotional lives. The ones who get pulled into color have the potential for greater happiness but also greater sadness. That brings up the question of "is the greater happiness worth the greater sadness?". The movie answers yes. My tendency, which I am working on, is to go with the "squashed" emotional range as a way of avoiding the greater sadness.
I'll remember about no "e" in Izzi. I don't mind being corrected about such things, and it is important to get someone's name right.
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aw, i know izz will appreciate you remembering the spelling
and yes, finally being able to look someone in the eye was.. wild. i mean, when i'm listening to someone i stare so into them in intrigue, but that's often because they're not always looking right at me because they're thinking about what they're saying. but, when i talk i stare at ANYTHING but they're eyes. ....and i'd even been in personal relationships and i could only do it for a couple of seconds (my relationship with Oren was about as long as I could do it, but it was a serious conscious effort, but the anxiety would still make me dart and squirm if he was looking. and he'd have to fight me -- ha, like and eye war -- to get my gaze back. it was so impossible) ...but now, with Justin, we search for each others. i still struggle, like if i'm really struggling with something, but its not as excruciating even then. and i might dart away for a little, but not as long and when i'm doing okay, i WANT to look into him, i don't hold the same fears of him reading my mind or my "soul" or seeing my secrets (not that anyone could, but that's what the fear is) ..so yeah, it's been very positive.
....as for the pleasantville reference, i deffffinitely think we all stay in the safer black and white reference. as i said my email is black_n_whitecolor for a reason. i love to watch the colour around me, but I'M not going to risk being a "colourful" person. (ha, ironic when you thinkkkk about it. teeeechnically i'm probably more 'seemingly colourful' than MOST people just for multiplicities sake) oopsies! but i definitely, for the most part, always feel safe in the colourless region.
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The black sparrow is starting to believe that what is behind her eyes (the windows to her soul) will NOT frighten the white hawk away.
You can work your way to up being a Tucan over time. They are mostly black and white, but have a big colorful beak and throat.
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nice meteaphoric reference ya chose there
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Ahhh your eyes
When I have a daughter (im determined to have one of each), im actually going to name her Isabella. So its pretty close to Isabelle. Just thought I'd share that.
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eeps, shpanks!
and ....if you do have an isabella; just don't call her bella
izzi's MUCH better. annnnd, doesn't sound like twilight or a small dog
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