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SmashingWarriorSnake [2019-05-07 01:38:00 +0000 UTC]

OK.. ignoring the absolute long and ludicrous comment below me... she looks SO pretty and you did an amazing job!

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NF-2 [2019-02-21 03:44:55 +0000 UTC]

I can't believe there are some unironic Neo-Esmondians, let me tell you just how shit his reign was.

Let's begin when he was made second in line, he was made second in line in a CEREMONIAL gesture but ceremonial means nothing to the beast of Sutton. Johnathan slammed this nepotistic bill through parliament of course with no opposition.

When Terry the first abdicated he couldn't retract this spur of the moment decision couldn't be reserved because for mysterious reasons known only to Johnny abdication is irreversible so shit. Well Johnathan isn't taking the throne because muh prime ministership and so on that faithful Monday Esmond became Esmond the third.

And how do you start a reign with civil war for course!!! Some with a pleb-tier understanding of the world may say that Caroline started the war and to that I say that Johnathan started the war after his retarded performance at the vestry conference. He stated a the beginning of the conference that he's was neutral. What fucking bullshit. He was only there to push Edmonds bullshit claim to the throne and when the conference didn't go his way he made up a bullshit story about Caroline and William working together and enforced dictatorial powers by; passing the abidcation law by making up bullshit about the prime minister having the deiciding vote even though that NOWHERE in the Constitution and then illegally removed Lord General William from all his positions and then was somehow fucking confused when he rebelled against him and all this happened without Edmond so much as knowing about it. During the civil war Edmond rapidly expanded the army without ANY threat of Carolinian attack and created a loyal officer core around him to secure power AND passed a law which put South kilttown under indefernate martial law. The expanded army only ever actually fought at one battle with only a FIFTH actually taking park and it having no effect on the war and the only other battle of the civil war being and I shit you not Johnathan running around in the sun before getting a nose bleed. Anyway skipping forward to the end of the war with the monarchy referendum in which Edmond isn't obliged to accept the results but Caroline is but not much more could honestly be expected from the blowcut dictator. Any the results are announced and Edmond has won by a PLURALITY because some genius (*cough* Johnathan *cough*) decided to add an abstain option AND the treaty of Ruskin road treated the war as a complete Esmondian victory even though in all reality it was most likely a draw.
After the war Edmond not only kept his loyal officer core but also set up an unelected and ILLEGAL imperial court OUTSIDE austenasia to focus his powers. Then he in his infante reason that he was the western Roman emperor and decided that anyone with his permission could create a new country anywhere in the future empire and the he had a right to hire and fire any leaders of these new nations (this gets important later). And in early July 2010 he gave his friend Calum a park in the middle of London (NOT part of austenasia) to rule over, who promptly spilt it in two five minutes later(also important). Declan I the appointed leader of one of the half of duck toilet and the leader of a nation austenasia was allied with deiced the captain of delcaring himself shit did not have control of all of fucking Rome. Now Edmond being the rashonal person he is decided to do the rashonal thing and go fucking crazy. Best for some fucking reason that I can't even to being to fathom being a good idea in austenasia the emperor announces when a season begins and ends so Edmond having thought about it decides that because a guy named fucking Declan decided he wasn't the emperor of ROME that the season was now winter. Edmond also decided that it was now "cake week" or "awesome day" too for some fucking reason. And then on October the 11th he delcaredhimself pope of Esmondism made someone vice-pope and then removed him for mocking him for eating his tribute of cake because hey the things he does don't have to make sense or even be funny to anyone other than an uncyloedia user from 2006 the just have to be Edmond! In an actually compitent move for once Edmonds decided to retrieve a bottle from the king of the first micronation in the area and the immediately loses the bottle to a fucking dog never to be seen again . Well. Fucking. Done. Edmond. Then one day Esmond thought to himself "hey this monarchy thing his all well and good but I need more power so I can ruin this country once And for all. I know COMMUNISM! Declan seeing thinking this may turn out bad declared full independence. Edmond knowing keeping half of a park 40 minutes away from wrythe was top of his priorities declared war on Orly, lost to nothing, lost ANOTHER vassal, and got the capital occupied and Declan made joint emperor. Edmond not liking having to face consicqences attempted a coup, failed, and got kicked out in a no confidence motion thus ending the beast of suttons tyrannical and most curtently autistic reign to an end.

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