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choices-lalala — TCAST - LHF ver.
Published: 2011-07-12 06:02:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 755; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 20
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Description
WARNINGS: Yaoi/BL, Sexual Implications, Some Foul Language.EDIT: Added a scene selection.
EDIT2: I wanted to properly credit who made what.
The characters belong to me and , but the base of the plot and what inspired it belongs to .
She has been incredibly kind to me about this, and I seriously cannot stress how glad I am about this.
TCAST - That Cheap and Sacred Thing. Based off of the game: [link]
(If you play it, it makes a lot more sense.)
LHF - Lost. Haunted. Forgotten.
Ver - Version. Der.
My first kinetic novel. I hope it's all right.
All rights are reserved to their respectful owners.
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Comments: 8
Such a beautifully written novel. So sad too. I enjoyed reading this.
Why isn't this more popular? I don't understand. You did a wonderful job on this.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
XD uhh...
Well, I wish you had told me about this before you did it... Or at least let me know...
But hey, the world needs more yaoi right? *plays*
My thoughts during play:
Wait, I don't get it. If Kyle has a human soul, why does Darren think he won't act like a human in the theater?
Lol at "When I said I wanted to be in Kyle, I didn't mean it like this!" That's amazing. XD (But his sister is deranged. She's just like "The first thing I want to do in freedom is bang my own brother! 8D" Yeah...)
The review: Well... as one writer to another, I hope you work on making your characters' voices unique. Eavesdrop on people, and try to figure out what different personalities and genders and ages sound like and come across as through what they say.
I couldn't really get into the main character, I'm not really sure who he is as a person. I know his past and stuff, but I don't have a good grip on his personality. To be honest, he was a bit like a Mary Sue to me.
Also, EDIT AND REWRITE A LOT! All good writing is made in the rewriting. Look at every line and think "What does this contribute to the story? What does this tell the reader about the character?" I rewrote the crap out of TCAST over the course of a year and a half.
I wish you hadn't used the robot type names that I made up, especially because they weren't the same as in TCAST, the technology is different (the whole soul-in-robot thing...)
I'm gonna send you a PM and talk a little bit more.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you, thank you~ x3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
This is the greatest thing
that has ever existed
in the history of everything.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1