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Cid-Vicious — Someday... by-nc-nd

Published: 2010-06-12 04:15:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 2356; Favourites: 12; Downloads: 30
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Description The Empire of Canada...

Motto:
"Bonded by honor."

Anthem:
"I Vow to Thee, My Country."

Languages:
English
French
Spanish
North-American

Government:
Semi-Absolute Parliamentary Monarchy

Capital:
Imperial City of Toronto

Monarch
It’s really need to say?

Prime Minister:
Dr. Hubert J. Farnsworth

Legislature:
The Parliament of Canada
Upper House - House of Lords of Canada
Lower House - House of Commons of Canada

Currency:
Canadian Euro

And now, please rise for the National Anthem, performed by Nickelback and the William McKinley Glee Club…

I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above,
Entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love;
The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test,
That lays upon the altar the dearest and the best;
The love that never falters, the love that pays the price,
The love that makes undaunted the final sacrifice.
I vow to thee, Canada, my love and my heart.

Through the night,
I heard my country calling, away across the sea,
Across the oceans she calls and calls to me.
Her flag was still there for me
Her sword is girded at her side; her mantle is around my brothers and sisters,
I hear sons marching, and parents crying, the thunder of the drums,
I haste to thee my mother, a son among thy sons.
Let me hold her flag; I will serve you eternally, even if my mind says no,
My heart knows I’ll be loyal.
I vow to thee…

Oh say, if there's another country,
Most dear to them that Mine, most great then that;
We may not count her armies; we may not see her Emperor;
Her fortress is our faithful heart; it pounds in my chest,
When I look across the sea and across the stars in Heaven,
That my country calls for me,
And soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase,
And her ways are ways of gentleness, and all her paths are peace.
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Comments: 69

Cid-Vicious In reply to ??? [2011-08-14 23:37:20 +0000 UTC]

Oh really? Canada Will Raise! Again!

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BlackRain1678 In reply to Cid-Vicious [2011-08-15 00:31:23 +0000 UTC]

Don't you mean rise?

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Cid-Vicious In reply to BlackRain1678 [2011-08-15 01:08:06 +0000 UTC]

Thanks For this, you will be spared... For now.

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experimentalDeity [2011-08-14 19:32:21 +0000 UTC]

I wonder if you'll build a Wawanakwa island?

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Cid-Vicious In reply to experimentalDeity [2011-08-14 19:34:59 +0000 UTC]

Well, maybe, if I need a concentration camp for political prisoners…

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experimentalDeity In reply to Cid-Vicious [2011-08-14 19:36:25 +0000 UTC]

In the woods next to the bear cave, but also for TD fans to go on pilgrimages to the sacred island where it all began!

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Cid-Vicious In reply to experimentalDeity [2011-08-14 20:28:09 +0000 UTC]

And then I lure them for a tourist trap where I can steal their organs and sell them in the black market, and then I can finally buy an iPod!

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experimentalDeity In reply to Cid-Vicious [2011-08-14 20:34:10 +0000 UTC]

And then I sneak away and use my water powers to turn you into a pile of ash by removing every H2O molecule from your body!

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Cid-Vicious In reply to experimentalDeity [2011-08-14 20:55:01 +0000 UTC]

Oh, let’s not be too hasty. With such bright powers, I think I could make you a Governor…

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experimentalDeity In reply to Cid-Vicious [2011-08-14 21:01:00 +0000 UTC]

Please. At high tide under the full moon, I have the oceans at my fingertips what more could I possibly want? For water always wins.

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Schleifer [2011-07-14 03:53:55 +0000 UTC]

I tend to think that the national anthum would remain Oh Canada, and the Imperial Anthum would probably become Maple Leaf Forever.

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Cid-Vicious In reply to Schleifer [2011-08-14 19:34:17 +0000 UTC]

Or maybe “Bacon Forever!”

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FogShadowWolf [2011-04-06 01:36:26 +0000 UTC]

You should check out my Imperial Canada flag lol.

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doomagedon [2011-03-24 11:23:09 +0000 UTC]

I hope the roads are better in your version of Canada.

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Cid-Vicious In reply to doomagedon [2011-03-24 18:04:55 +0000 UTC]

They will! And as gratitude - as well for the sake of your life - don't spit in the ground!

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doomagedon In reply to Cid-Vicious [2011-03-24 19:45:57 +0000 UTC]

Yea, who spits on the floor anymore? what is this, fuckin' 1886?!
I assume the Parliament building was refurbished without the need for 5 billion dollars?

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Cid-Vicious In reply to doomagedon [2011-03-25 04:34:25 +0000 UTC]

Well, in the Canadian Empire, marijuana, gay marriage, possession of weapons at 10... All are free to do what they want, only if, first, you pray, fight in our wars and DO NOT spit on the floor! We had to ban AT LEAST something, otherwise, everyone would think that there are no laws in Canada, right? By the way, the penalty for spitting on the floor is chemical castration

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toraudewa [2011-02-03 02:27:59 +0000 UTC]

Believe me there will be nothing where Quebec was if Quebec lose and become something else. XD

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Cid-Vicious In reply to toraudewa [2011-02-06 19:53:02 +0000 UTC]

Well, Quebec has always considered itself as "French, not Canadian" so I gave the province the same ancient name that the French territory in Brazil during the seventeenth century. There it is, Antarctic France!

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Livininmaworld [2010-08-17 01:39:54 +0000 UTC]

Esto seria tan maravilloso XD

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Cid-Vicious In reply to Livininmaworld [2010-08-17 04:33:31 +0000 UTC]

Sería realmente

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bluessaurus [2010-07-11 00:09:34 +0000 UTC]

Oq os canadenses acham disso?

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Cid-Vicious In reply to bluessaurus [2010-07-11 00:43:17 +0000 UTC]

Achar? Desde quando o povo tem que achar alguma coisa?! Além, eles estariam sendo, tecnicamente, promovidos: súditos de um Imperador de um país independente.
E o Hino Nacional arrebenta, né?

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bluessaurus In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-07-11 01:14:37 +0000 UTC]

Bem, vc tem um argumento...

Sim, o hino é bem legal, mas o meu favorito ainda é A Marselhesa (é uma canção perfeita para partir prum quebra-pau! Poderia haver uma versão em Funk-o-metal...)

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Cid-Vicious In reply to bluessaurus [2010-07-11 01:30:04 +0000 UTC]

Obrigado.

Hmmm... Pessoalmente eu acho uma hipocrisia banirem o "Deutschland Ubber Alles" por fazer "apologia à guerra e o imperialismo" e manterem a Marselhesa! É um ótimo hino, mas, ainda assim, é belicista. E... Pessoalmente, entre os hinos nacionais, "The Star-Spangled Banner", por Mariah Carey, é lindo. Quanto à algo mais dramático, sugiro que ouça os primeiros dez segundos de "Salve Imperator", uma marcha militar austríaca. Depois disso é previsível, mas, a introdução é incrível.

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bluessaurus In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-07-11 01:52:12 +0000 UTC]

Bom, aí eu corro o risco de cair numa argumentação ideológica; mas, vamos lá...



Pelo pouco que eu sei sobre o assunto, tanto "Deutschland Ubber Alles" quanto "A Marselhesa" são canções belicistas, isso é inegável; no entanto, "A Marselhesa" fala de defesa popular contra a agressão aristocrática e de luta de classes (tanto quanto é possível entender a respeito disso no século XVIII...), ao passo que "Deutschland Ubber Alles" fala de ocupação territorial, pura e simples.
De qualquer forma, acredito que, musicalmente, todos os hinos nacionais são belíssimos, mas é nas letras que as coisas começam a chamar atenção...

Por exemplo, a poesia de Osório Duque Estrada (a letra do Hino Nacional brasileiro), eu acho pavorosa - uma poesia de pé quebrado com métrica tortuosa e vocabulário obscuro - pedante até para os padrões do século XIX.
Na França, qualquer guri de ensino fundamental é capaz de cantar facilmente "A Marselhesa" (não apenas pq o sistema educacional francês funciona a contento, mas também principalmente pq é uma poesia simples e compreensível); já no Brasil... é preciso um curso de pós-graduação em literatura para recitar essa coisa enigmática.



De qualquer forma, obrigado pelas sugestões, vou procurá-las. Ouvi dizer que a música do hino austríaco é de autoria de Joseph Haydn; é verdade?

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Cid-Vicious In reply to bluessaurus [2010-07-12 02:10:14 +0000 UTC]

Não, não se preocupe... Desde que não me venha com uma foice e um martelo!

É verdade, mas, apesar do hino alemão lidar com esse tema - ocupação territorial - é praticamente o mesmo espírito da Marselhesa: na época (1871), o Império Alemão tinha surgido após uma guerra vitoriosa contra a França - cuja cereja no topo foi a coroação do primeiro Kaiser em Versalhes -, e seus domínios foram expandidos pelas conquistas militares prussianas, e no assunto conquistas, a França não fica atrás: o exemplo mais recente na época foi o desastre no México com Maximiliano I. Além do que, a letra do hino alemão não fala explicitamente de massacrar os inimigos e usar seu sangue para semear novos campos. É curto e grosso: "Alemanha, Alemanha... Alemanha acima de TUDO!" e por último "Unidade, Justiça e Liberdade!". Eu acho lindo...

Realmente, o Hino Nacional é apelativo, mas, poderia ser pior - concordemos que foi escrito durante o afã de afirmar a República como o melhor governo para o Brasil, e tão pedante quanto o século XIX foram as ditaduras dos anos 1930. As passagens que mencionam a coragem e a História são ótimas, mas acho que isso é mais um problema de educação e da opinião dúbia dos mandatários do país: temos veneno tele-evangélico sendo vomitado pela grande maioria das TVs, mas, cantar o Hino Nacional antes das aulas em formação em frente à escola? Oh, não, "isso é coisa da ditadura", "nacionalismo", "sopros da Era Vargas"...

Procure no 4shared. Há um arquivo incrivelmente abrangente dedicado exclusivamente à músicas militares dos impérios russo, alemão e austro-húngaro.

Sim. Haydn, como tantos outros compositores de sua época, vivia de puxar o saco da realeza, no caso, da Casa de Habsburgo. Ele escreveu o hino e a melodia "Gott Erhalte Franz den Kaiser" para o aniversário do Imperador Francisco I (último Imperador do Sacro Império Romano-Germânico e pai da Imperatriz Leopoldina) da Áustria em 1797, e desde então, o hino foi usado até 1918, e a melodia foi a inspiração para o "Deus Salve o/a Rei/Rainha" da Inglatera, e o "Deutschlandlied", a variante do "Deutschland Ubber Alles".

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bluessaurus In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-07-13 13:46:02 +0000 UTC]

Foice e martelo? Nah, eu não faço proselitismo de nada. Acho falta de educação tentar fazer a cabeça das pessoas.
Eu só faço uso de ferramentas conceituais como o materialismo histórico ou a relação cultura x economia em sala de aula; mas aí é outra coisa, é minha obrigação profissional. Marx explica muita coisa, mas não tudo (e ele admitia isso).

Mas, voltando aos hinos, eu confesso que não conheço a letra do "Deutschland Ubber Alles", negligência minha.
Eu acredito que o grande apelo emocional d'A Marselhesa deriva do fato de que foi escrita num momento de grande comoção coletiva - a burguesia lutando no parlamento para que a sociedade francesa fosse reformada, a aristocracia recusando obstinadamente a tudo, e apelando para apoio militar estrangeiro para barrar estas reformas... deu no que deu: "Vamos tranformar esses fdp em carniça, então!"...
Queria ver o FHC convencer esse pessoal de que "política é a arte do possível"... Se não me engano, Danton foi pra guilhotina justamente por isso.



Quanto ao ensino do Hino Nacional, realmente as autoridades educacionais brasileiras tem sido, no mínimo, um bocado negligentes, nos últimos 30 anos...
Apesar de ser uma poesia estrambótica, o hino do Duque Estrada é uma grande oportunidade para professores de lingua portuguesa (vocabulário, versificação, etc) e história, mas infelizmente isso é desperdiçado...
Ao invés de elevar o nível dos alunos, a pedagogia equivocadamente busca perpetuar a realidade perversa que o aluno é obrigado a viver. Que diabos é isso?



Obrigado pela dica do 4shared, vou procurar.

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HeartlessSlayer [2010-06-18 19:23:20 +0000 UTC]

And what is the purpose of this? >D

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Cid-Vicious In reply to HeartlessSlayer [2010-06-18 20:53:35 +0000 UTC]

Just want to reassure my future American subjects XD

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HeartlessSlayer In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-18 20:55:54 +0000 UTC]

my guess this is what would happen if either dick cheney, karl rove, rush limbaugh, glenn beck or sarah palin were to be president XP. But just like in the war of 1812, we won't let that happen! >D

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Cid-Vicious In reply to HeartlessSlayer [2010-06-19 21:52:07 +0000 UTC]

You know, a future work, however, I planned an apocalyptic future for the Empire (an alternate universe inside an alternate universe!): After a Revolution spurred by evil forces, the Imperial Family was banished to Europe, while the U.S. occupying Canada after finding evidence of "weapons of mass destruction," and turn Canada into the fifty-first state, and Sarah Pallin is elected High Governor, imposing the Westboro Church as the official religion, promoting book burnings, sterilization of poor people, and transpose the entire Southern population of USA to Canada after selling California, Arizona, Florida, New Mexico and Texas back to Mexico in exchange of slaves to the Apple factories!


Now you mentioned this, you know: Brazil fought to be independent of Portugal, and, when Brazil turned from a colony to an Empire, our first Emperor was D. Pedro I... The eldest son of the King of Portugal! It's like Prince George - son of George III - turns the first President of the United States.

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HeartlessSlayer In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-19 23:12:49 +0000 UTC]

did you smoke crack when you thought of that? >D

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Cid-Vicious In reply to HeartlessSlayer [2010-06-19 23:17:00 +0000 UTC]

No! But I think it fits the definition of "apocalyptic".

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HeartlessSlayer In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-19 23:21:39 +0000 UTC]

still, fat chance of that ever happening >3 lol

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DeltaSigma [2010-06-14 02:14:24 +0000 UTC]

HAHA... Upper Dakota...
Hmmm, This reminds me of ...

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Cid-Vicious In reply to DeltaSigma [2010-06-15 04:19:22 +0000 UTC]

I also created an alternate universe. In it, Kaiser Wilhelm III's Germany is the great power in Europe, while Asia once again bowed to Naruhito's Japan and the Middle East can sleep at ease, guarded by Shah Reza Cyrus Pahlavi's Ira and the Russian Tsar, and the Brazilian Empire is the head of a Iberian Commonwealth. It's pretty funny to "fix" the world, uh?

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DeltaSigma In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-16 03:13:00 +0000 UTC]

Hmm... That's pretty interesting.

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Cid-Vicious In reply to DeltaSigma [2010-06-16 03:31:03 +0000 UTC]

It really is

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DeltaSigma In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-16 04:45:41 +0000 UTC]

My Alt. reality is where there is a second civil war...

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Cid-Vicious In reply to DeltaSigma [2010-06-16 04:59:07 +0000 UTC]

Dramatic. The South will rise again this time?

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DeltaSigma In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-16 17:55:20 +0000 UTC]

Yeah... Like USA1 versus USA2.

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Cid-Vicious In reply to DeltaSigma [2010-06-16 18:38:50 +0000 UTC]

Well, everyone deserves a chance... Except the Nazis.

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DeltaSigma In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-16 22:17:40 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, Nazis can just die...

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carmillad [2010-06-13 06:42:39 +0000 UTC]

Hahahaha, Cidland, I loved it. And Hubert Farnsworth as your Prime Minister killed me XD!

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Cid-Vicious In reply to carmillad [2010-06-13 07:05:17 +0000 UTC]

Well, I must restate my power somehow... In fact, Dr. Farnsworth was a good lieutenant, and inspired me to punish those accused of spitting on the floor with chemical castration - after legalizing marijuana, gay marriage, possession of weapons at 10 years-old, euthanasia and other basic things, the government had to ban at least something, then, may God help you if the guard see you spitting on the floor!

But speaking of happier things... The National Anthem is so cute, uh?^_^

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carmillad In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-13 09:01:36 +0000 UTC]

Hahahaha, then God have mercy of those who throw garbage to the floor or step on the grass.

Sure it is! I would be standing with my hand on my heart and with tears in the eyes while singing it

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Cid-Vicious In reply to carmillad [2010-06-13 20:41:26 +0000 UTC]

Well, if we want the great laws to be respected, then we must start by the small laws. And for that... We need to apply absurdly cruel penalties and make everyone think a million times before considering the possibility of committing a crime! Dr. Farnsworth is really a genius!

Thank you. Almost everything is a mix of the original anthem - played during both wedding and funeral of Lady Di - "The Star-Spangled Banner" and other songs. After all, is better than a purely bellicose anthem as "La Marseillaise ... ^_^

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carmillad In reply to Cid-Vicious [2010-06-13 21:08:50 +0000 UTC]

Haha, true, I bet with such strict punishments people would really behave like ideal citizens. Or else a Hello Kitty giant cyborg would roast them with her laser eyes.

I agree, and better than mostly mentioning the people's time as slaves before getting their freedom, like ours ^_^U. Don't get me wrong, I feel really proud when I sing our anthem but let's face it, the lyrics speak about how we were opressed as servants for a long time until we decided to fight for our independence.

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Cid-Vicious In reply to carmillad [2010-06-13 21:35:49 +0000 UTC]

That would be great to increase our international reputation! Instead of a military parade with conventional ballistic missiles being transported through the streets, a grand parade of cyborgs Hello Kittys shooting lasers! Everyone would say "that's so cute! How not to love a country like this?"
Princes and princesses - to 11 to 6 years old - Daddy, Daddy! Can we walk in those? - pointing to one of the giants Hello Kitty cyborgs during the parade.
The Emperor - Sure, kids! Go spread the justice!
The royal children - Yaaaaay!!!!
The Empress - Awww, they grow up so fast.

Speaking of hymns, I think that the national pride has not so much to do with the lyrics of the national anthem itself, which is simply an allegory of the country's History. The Brazilian National Anthem is a complete allegory, but still has a good flow. A hymn that I think was the victim of prejudice was "Deutschland Übber Alles" It was the unofficial anthem during the Empire (1871-1918), so, its use during the Nazi era should not be an excuse to banish it, because it was already one of the many symbols of German culture that was only used by Hitler for his own benefit. What I admire most in this song is its clarity. It is as if everything after the short and thick "Germany, Germany above all!" was only to let the anthem a bit more flowery.

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