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Description
Vent.

This is sort of just a vent about everything, but it started off as me not feeling like I was being heard.

I titled this piece "Calling Out to the Void" because lately, I've been feeling like I'm screaming into the void, with no one listening.
I listen to people, a lot. I really do. I'll let them rant to me, and I'll listen, and I'll show I care. And even when it's not a rant, I'll listen. Even if you're just blabbering on about something. I try to listen even when my friends are chatting about an Anime they both watch, where I'm so far lost in what they're saying. But I try. I really, really try to listen. And that's the important part.
Because it feels like they're not listening to me. I'll say stuff, it's not important stuff mind you, but it's stuff, and I just get an, "ok." or "cool" or a change of subject, or sometimes they barely even respond. I know they're not listening. They're not trying to be mean, they just aren't listening.
Now friends, you might be about to say, "But Beth, you never try to tell us important things." It's because I don't have anything to say that you'd listen to. Everything in my life is fine, so I don't feel like I have a right to talk about that, when you don't have everything right. I just need to listen to you. But lately it's just felt like you're taking, and taking and taking, and I'm not receiving anything. I just feel like I'm there, but my words fall on deaf ears.

Also, now, this isn't telling you guys to stop this, I like being a safe space here online, but one of my irl friends is having a really, really hard time and I just don't know what to do. Everyone says that I should just listen to her, but I feel like I should be doing more. I need to do more. I want to fix it. I'm an empathetic person, I think, I don't wanna build myself up ego-wise here. So it's hard for me to sit and watch someone close to me go through this, and not be able to do anything about it. I want to fix it. I just want to fix it. I know I'm a broken record, but what else is there to be? Silent? That does no good either.

And on another note, I want to help others. And I should be able to. I'm a cisgender, heteroromantic, white girl of middle class, I've got money. I have more rights than others do, so I should be using my power and position to help people. But I can't. I can't do anything. I want desperately to be able to help. I should be able to go out there and help stop things from going on. I should be using these things about me to be able to have influence. But I can't. Because I can't do anything. I just feel like I'm screaming my frustration, but can't do anything. I'm helpless. I'm stuck somewhere, desperately wanting to help the other person, but I can't. And its making me angry.

I grew up on media that was all about the protagonist managing to make a difference in people's lives. But I can't even do that. I grew up watching The Doctor save the planet, Steve Rogers become a super hero from nothing, watching Leia save the galaxy, all these people able to make a huge difference in people's lives. I want to be like that. Not so I can be idolized or anything like that, but I want to be able to help. But I can't.

People won't even listen to me half the time. Most people won't give me a second thought. And my ideas are dismissed because "They couldn't work," and "people aren't like that." But why aren't people like that? Why are we putting profit and security over other people's lives. I could live in a dirt hut in the middle of nowhere, with no plumbing, and no warmth if it meant that I had succeeded in bringing peace to people. I just want us to change. Why can't we start caring about each other? Why can't we look past our own greed and see that we're all just struggling here together? We could all use a bit of love in our lives. Why can't we show it to each other? Why must we strive for war. Why do we view peace as useless? Peace is wonderful. Peace is where we care, and where we no longer fight. Peace is where we put others above ourselves, and thus, everyone cares for everyone. Why can't we have that?

Why must we be cruel?

And dear friend, why must you take what I say and twist it? I understand your point of view, but when you defend these things, it's testing me. I want to still be friends, because I love you, but you shoot down my ideas. You make me feel like crap for having a different opinion than you. You don't listen to my side. You just tell me why I'm wrong, and why I'm being a bad person in your eyes, and why my ideas wouldn't work.

I feel like only the void and God are listening. And while God is all powerful, he can't just change stuff on a whim, the problem will have its place, so I just have to ride it out.

I just want to help. I want to show I care. I want to be able to save others. I want to be able to create a better world for me, and for the next generation to live on. I want there to still be an Earth for people. I want there to still be a safe place for people. I want us to stop being like this. I wish I could just freeze time, and just fix it. I want us to be caring.
And I want to be listened to. Because I don't feel like I am.

Please, listen to others. Care about someone other than yourself for once. Let's all change to be more compassionate, and care about people. Please, please, I'm begging you, be kind, above all else.

Thank you for listening.

Speedpaint I did for this picture:
youtu.be/wx1X6NSheDY

Description
Vent.

This is sort of just a vent about everything, but it started off as me not feeling like I was being heard.

I titled this piece "Calling Out to the Void" because lately, I've been feeling like I'm screaming into the void, with no one listening.
I listen to people, a lot. I really do. I'll let them rant to me, and I'll listen, and I'll show I care. And even when it's not a rant, I'll listen. Even if you're just blabbering on about something. I try to listen even when my friends are chatting about an Anime they both watch, where I'm so far lost in what they're saying. But I try. I really, really try to listen. And that's the important part.
Because it feels like they're not listening to me. I'll say stuff, it's not important stuff mind you, but it's stuff, and I just get an, "ok." or "cool" or a change of subject, or sometimes they barely even respond. I know they're not listening. They're not trying to be mean, they just aren't listening.
Now friends, you might be about to say, "But Beth, you never try to tell us important things." It's because I don't have anything to say that you'd listen to. Everything in my life is fine, so I don't feel like I have a right to talk about that, when you don't have everything right. I just need to listen to you. But lately it's just felt like you're taking, and taking and taking, and I'm not receiving anything. I just feel like I'm there, but my words fall on deaf ears.

Also, now, this isn't telling you guys to stop this, I like being a safe space here online, but one of my irl friends is having a really, really hard time and I just don't know what to do. Everyone says that I should just listen to her, but I feel like I should be doing more. I need to do more. I want to fix it. I'm an empathetic person, I think, I don't wanna build myself up ego-wise here. So it's hard for me to sit and watch someone close to me go through this, and not be able to do anything about it. I want to fix it. I just want to fix it. I know I'm a broken record, but what else is there to be? Silent? That does no good either.

And on another note, I want to help others. And I should be able to. I'm a cisgender, heteroromantic, white girl of middle class, I've got money. I have more rights than others do, so I should be using my power and position to help people. But I can't. I can't do anything. I want desperately to be able to help. I should be able to go out there and help stop things from going on. I should be using these things about me to be able to have influence. But I can't. Because I can't do anything. I just feel like I'm screaming my frustration, but can't do anything. I'm helpless. I'm stuck somewhere, desperately wanting to help the other person, but I can't. And its making me angry.

I grew up on media that was all about the protagonist managing to make a difference in people's lives. But I can't even do that. I grew up watching The Doctor save the planet, Steve Rogers become a super hero from nothing, watching Leia save the galaxy, all these people able to make a huge difference in people's lives. I want to be like that. Not so I can be idolized or anything like that, but I want to be able to help. But I can't.

People won't even listen to me half the time. Most people won't give me a second thought. And my ideas are dismissed because "They couldn't work," and "people aren't like that." But why aren't people like that? Why are we putting profit and security over other people's lives. I could live in a dirt hut in the middle of nowhere, with no plumbing, and no warmth if it meant that I had succeeded in bringing peace to people. I just want us to change. Why can't we start caring about each other? Why can't we look past our own greed and see that we're all just struggling here together? We could all use a bit of love in our lives. Why can't we show it to each other? Why must we strive for war. Why do we view peace as useless? Peace is wonderful. Peace is where we care, and where we no longer fight. Peace is where we put others above ourselves, and thus, everyone cares for everyone. Why can't we have that?

Why must we be cruel?

And dear friend, why must you take what I say and twist it? I understand your point of view, but when you defend these things, it's testing me. I want to still be friends, because I love you, but you shoot down my ideas. You make me feel like crap for having a different opinion than you. You don't listen to my side. You just tell me why I'm wrong, and why I'm being a bad person in your eyes, and why my ideas wouldn't work.

I feel like only the void and God are listening. And while God is all powerful, he can't just change stuff on a whim, the problem will have its place, so I just have to ride it out.

I just want to help. I want to show I care. I want to be able to save others. I want to be able to create a better world for me, and for the next generation to live on. I want there to still be an Earth for people. I want there to still be a safe place for people. I want us to stop being like this. I wish I could just freeze time, and just fix it. I want us to be caring.
And I want to be listened to. Because I don't feel like I am.

Please, listen to others. Care about someone other than yourself for once. Let's all change to be more compassionate, and care about people. Please, please, I'm begging you, be kind, above all else.

Thank you for listening.

Speedpaint I did for this picture:
youtu.be/wx1X6NSheDY