HOME | DD

crimson47 — AS - Chapter1 by-nc-nd

Published: 2010-05-08 18:11:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 2247; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 7
Redirect to original
Description
Why?
Because that is the job of a state alchemist.
Why are soldiers, who are supposed to protect citizens, killing them instead?
Because that is the task given to them.
Am I wrong?

-------

The moon hung silently in the sky, an eerie smile spread across it's face. Riza Hawkeye had gone for a walk through the camp to pass the time. Not able to sleep after the months she had been out here in Ishval. The death and destruction weighed heavy on everyone's mind making sleep, if possible, a sweet luxury. Passing by a few soldiers by a fire, overhearing their conversation....about something in the Kanda district....but moved into an alley as they stopped talking to watch her go by. After a few steps she realized someone had been following. Nonchalantly she turned another corner and stopped. The person came around the corner, knowing they had been sensed.
   
Riza moved her head in his direction to acknowledge him then pulled her gaze away when this person came into focus.

"Hawkeye-san." Kimblee said respectfully. "What are you doing out so late at night?" he bowed some to her. she glanced away, those eyes that held no pity, no sane man or woman could not look at them long. A small chilling wind crawled around them.

"I can't sleep..." Hawkeye looked at the ground and leaned against the wall attempting to shake the sudden quiver from her body. The last person she needed to see....

"Hiding in the shadows of the building? How is that going to help?" he smiled, stepped forward and held out a cup of coffee to her. She took it and muttered a quiet ' thank you.' She raised the cup to her lips hesitantly and drank in the smell. It smelled good. Like all coffee should. She took a sip even though she wasn't thirsty, enjoying the warm feeling it gave her. She noticed him staring, silently. Just watching her.

"What?" she couldn't help but blush under his fierce gaze.

"Is it alright?" He asked in a quiet tone, his smile spreading.

"Yes. Thank you.." she took another drink, the warm liquid warming up her shivering body. Wondering what had caused his sudden change in demeanor.

"You're welcome. This one is my specialty." Kimblee said leaning on the wall beside her and crossing his arms. She wasn't uncomfortable around him.......for the first time she'd ever known him. He felt almost human.... They both stared into the sky a moment, examining the glimmering stars and the moon's snaring grin.

"You made it..hm.." Hawkeye said looking down at the glass in her hand. She barely recognized her own face in the reflection in her coffee. She had witnessed the horrors of war over and over but still couldn't shake the feeling. She was a killer and her eyes told her so.

Pulling her gaze from her reflection she gained eye-contact with Kimblee, who if she was thinking correctly, had crept closer to her.

"Your eyes...." Kimblee stated, then paused. She didn't pull her gaze away. His gaze seemed to shine brighter under the moon's bizarre glow.

"Wishing to forget, to return to those calm blue skies.." he said touching her cheek so she couldn't break her gaze.  She wanted to pull from his gaze but could not. "Why you wish to forget...because you feel like you have lost a part of yourself, from long ago. You shouldn't want to forget, Hawkeye-san."

"Major Crimson -....." she started.

"Call me Kimblee." he stopped her. She blushed openly. She couldn't believe she could think these things....about him of all people. This demon...who had killed so many, enjoying every moment of his enemies pain. Her body reacted for her.

"Kimblee...." she said quietly. No, she couldn't....

"........Yes?" he smiled at her.

"Thank you....for the coffee." she held out the glass to him. He took it. She couldn't stay with him now. She was an open book, his eyes yearning to read deeper into her secrets.

"You feeling alright..?" he asked. She heard him set down the empty mug.

"He sounds.....concerned.." she thought, smiling some. " I'm fine." she replied. She turned to go but he grabbed her arm. Gently. She didn't resist his touch, suddenly not wishing too.

"I need...." he started. She looked over at him questioningly. A small pause. "I like you....more then you think."

She just stared at him for a moment. He sensed her indecision, and leaned into her face, gently brushing his lips against hers. Before she could think she had followed his touch and returned his kiss.

When she didn't resist he pulled her smoothly against him, embracing her.
Related content
Comments: 40

LittleMissUnholy [2010-05-09 11:11:13 +0000 UTC]

Everything with Kimbley becomes gooda dn thrilling... but you've just doubled the effection! 83 Next part please! ^w^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to LittleMissUnholy [2010-05-09 14:52:05 +0000 UTC]

Haha! Maybe later this week I'll put it out! XD Keep you guys on the edge of your seats.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LittleMissUnholy In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-09 18:37:26 +0000 UTC]

Can't wait! ^w^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kittypopchow601 [2010-05-08 22:38:52 +0000 UTC]

Oohhhh I like! Been a while since I've seen anything from you, but I think you must've gotten lost in my sea of favorites or something D:

A little critique though: you have an awful lot of tense confusion here. Try sticking to one tense. I recommend the past, since that's what you used the most.
Some examples:
"An uncanny feeling rising in her gut." should be "An uncanny feeling rised" or "had risen in her gut."
"Hawkeye looking at the ground and leaning against the wall attempting to shake the sudden chill from her body." should be "Hawkeye, looking at the ground, leaned against the wall in an attempt to shake the sudden chill from her body."
There are a few others, but I don't want it to seem like I'm nitpicking

Overall, though, it was very effective. I felt a lot of emotion from it (maybe because I was being brought back to my Kimbley fangirl days or something I may have to draw something of him soon...). Good job. Looking forward to the next chapter~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-08 22:42:43 +0000 UTC]

Another good critique noticed!
Thanks for your input and I will do my best to put it to use.
I'm going to edit this chapter later to revise errors and so forth. ^^
It's also good to see you didn't die off like a few other people her I used to talk to all the time!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-08 22:51:33 +0000 UTC]

I've been noticed~

You're welcome I like to think I'm pretty good with grammar and sentence structure and so forth, so if you ever need a beta or anything like that, just shoot me a note and I'll be more than happy to help~

I would never die off and leave you guys hanging! Although admittedly I've been very busy lately.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-08 22:58:53 +0000 UTC]

Well, I'am nowadays but this story is old(like I told someone else I wrote it back in '06, lol) I will have to go through and proofread my other chapters before submitting them now. XD I should have done that in the first place. haha

I think all of us have been decently busy lately, I've just had a good spurt of energy on DA to submit some things.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-08 23:36:31 +0000 UTC]

So that's why I thought this plotline sounded familiar! D: I thought it was just a coincidence... Yeah, now that I think about it, I remember this from fanfiction.net. In fact, that may've been how I met you in the first place!

Ah yes, me too. Maybe it's just that all my friends have grown up (and me as well~), but it's the same deal for me - everyone's busy lately :/

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-09 14:57:09 +0000 UTC]

Yep that is where it is. XDD
Fanfiction.net is the home for this story, but lots of people don't want to run to another website to read it. ~<3

It feels good to be busy though, you feel more accomplished right? I certainly do.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-09 21:36:10 +0000 UTC]

I would!! ... but not now, since I've already read more of it years ago and don't feel like looking it back up again to see if I can find any more

Haha, sometimes that's the case... other times I feel like I have not time to do other stuff, and because of that feeling I wind up procrastinating right up until the last minute (Also: I absolutely /adore/ that smiley~)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-10 17:34:04 +0000 UTC]

That is another reason why it is posted here. haha

Well, if you do better under pressure procrastinating is a good thing.

I love the smiley too!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-10 23:29:42 +0000 UTC]

Haha XD How many chapters did you end up doing?

I have no idea if the procrastination is helping - that's the sad part. Maybe it is? I don't know. I'm able to remember things better if I do them at the last minute, anyway...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-11 15:53:08 +0000 UTC]

Fifteen I think.

Teaches you not to procrastinate as often though, ne? XDDD IN certain situations.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-12 00:17:37 +0000 UTC]

Fifteen?? I think I only ever read, like, three or four or something!

Pssh, yeah, right? Especially when you stay up all night writing a paper only to find out it's due the next day D:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-19 20:26:03 +0000 UTC]

XD Well, don't go looking for it. I still need to revise it!!

Then you have it done though, yeh?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-22 22:22:57 +0000 UTC]

Haha, I won't!

I still feel like I've been cheated out of something, though... But yeah, you have a point. :/

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-24 17:12:05 +0000 UTC]

When life cheats, cheat faster. XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-24 17:43:26 +0000 UTC]

Haha I love that Is it a quote from something or did you make it up?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-24 17:45:50 +0000 UTC]

I just made it up, lol.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-24 18:37:29 +0000 UTC]

Then when I inevitably steal it I shall give credit straight to you~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-24 20:38:22 +0000 UTC]

Okay, what a rarity. XD To have someone give another credit I mean.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kittypopchow601 In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-24 23:42:20 +0000 UTC]

I don't think it's all that unusual~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to kittypopchow601 [2010-05-25 02:39:40 +0000 UTC]

Well, it is to me. Since I've had so much of my work taken and not credited and other things~

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Veggy4ever [2010-05-08 20:13:19 +0000 UTC]

This fan fiction is amazing!
I love this couple...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to Veggy4ever [2010-05-08 22:31:13 +0000 UTC]

Good to hear--! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Veggy4ever In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-08 22:37:28 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

EnviousGreed [2010-05-08 19:25:46 +0000 UTC]

Wow, this is amazing. This is probably one of the few good fanfics I've read of this pairing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to EnviousGreed [2010-05-08 19:48:38 +0000 UTC]

Glad you like it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ThyNameIs-Jai [2010-05-08 18:32:16 +0000 UTC]

Kimblee x Anyone is always a good pairing.
He's too damn Suave

Very nicely written, but just one little friend tip: Watch your use of words like "She" and such. At the beginning for example, you use it quia it. It's not a Negative thing! I do it all the time myself.
Pelase don't take it the wrong way also, I genuinally mean it as constructive, not negativiy.

Other then that, its very well written ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to ThyNameIs-Jai [2010-05-08 18:45:09 +0000 UTC]

Yeahreally

Yeah, I will pay attention to that more in the future. It is an old story though and I'm doing my best to fix all errors before submitting. Too bad I missed that..! XD Thanks for your input/constructive criticism!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ThyNameIs-Jai In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-08 18:48:15 +0000 UTC]

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with it!
I have an awful habit of repition, and my Beta nags me about it constantly, so I now automatically pick it straight out xD
Sorry.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to ThyNameIs-Jai [2010-05-08 18:57:05 +0000 UTC]

I didn't take it wrong. XD I'm glad you pointed it out to me so now it can be fixed.
I have a good thesaurus that can help with repetition, lol. ^v^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ThyNameIs-Jai In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-08 19:11:49 +0000 UTC]

I'll end up apologising over and over, it's a problem.. xD
That and I'm always afraid people will take critisism wrong.

And Thesaurus's (Or would that be Thesauri? *Grin*) Are amazing.
:3!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to ThyNameIs-Jai [2010-05-08 22:27:57 +0000 UTC]

The day I take a proper criticism wrong is the day the world explodes. haha I can understand why you are careful about it though. Some people fail more then others.

Yup, they are. XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ThyNameIs-Jai In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-09 10:33:41 +0000 UTC]

Aye, I've had nasty spells of miss-taken critism.
Not a pleasent thing.

:3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to ThyNameIs-Jai [2010-05-09 14:53:09 +0000 UTC]

No one likes to be misunderstood..! =]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

garikaliev [2010-05-08 18:22:50 +0000 UTC]

Ahhh yes~ Chapter I - that makes me happy~<3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to garikaliev [2010-05-08 18:25:46 +0000 UTC]

Just for you..! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

garikaliev In reply to crimson47 [2010-05-08 18:30:07 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crimson47 In reply to garikaliev [2010-05-08 18:30:47 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0