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Description
A/N this follows my story Raising L but takes place after the anime.
Warning for language

A moved slowly past the headstones. The only sound came from the soft crunching of snow beneath his feet. A never cared for cemeteries and the somber feeling that hung over them. His heart heavy with grief, he stopped in front of two graves with no names given.
He noticed the flowers laid over them.

This must be the place that Matsuda guy was talking about. He thought to himself. He stood silently, trying to find the right words. What could he possibly say? He turned to the grave on the right.

"I never thought this day would come old man." He began. "You were gonna outlive us all. That's what we all thought. You were a tough old guy. I-" A cleared his throat, bowing his head. "I told you,you shouldn't have come here. I had a bad feeling about this, how many times had I told you that?" He clenched his fists as he spoke.

"There were others that needed you too, you know. We didn't see eye to eye on many things but damn it, you raised me like I was your own. You always stood up for me when everyone else said I'd never be anything, I gave you such a hard time, tried to hurt you before you could hurt me when I was growin' up. It took me such a long time to realize that...you weren't gonna hurt me at all. You wanted me to succeed in life. I just wish I understood you sooner. Sorry I couldn't be here when they-to tell you this before." He sniffled, wiping away the tears from his cheek.

"Damn, told myself I wasn't gonna do this. Ain't that always the way it goes Watari?" A let out a humorless chuckle. "Anyway, I just couldn't bring myself to believe it.Even after all this time. Of all the things I should've said, and never did, most important thing was that you did a lot for me, you stepped up when everyone else stepped out. I appreciate that and...I love ya, old man, even when I acted differently. So thanks again."

A took in a deep breath as the snow began to fall around him. He turned to the second grave.

"You.. You smartass little monkey, I remember the trouble you used to give the old man and me when he brought you home. There were so many times I wanted to grab ya and shake ya, screaming what the hell is wrong with you. I didn't take the time to understand the reasons you acted like you did. I never got over the time you waited for Watari to leave the room and I was sayin' how small you were I said you were two and you showed me three fingers. Watari didn't believe me, the look you gave me that day,you were messing with me and we never did get over our...what did the old man call it...sibling rivalry?" A shook his head.

I'll give you this though, anytime life got too tough, there you were, pushing me foreword I always hated that you were three steps ahead of me and that Watari adored you. You were his favorite son. From the start you gave us hell at every turn, everything from biting to locking us out. Always too smart for your own good. Always had to have the last word. As much as you and me argued or fought, drove the old man crazy we shared a level of respect as you got older. I never said this but...I did kinda see you as a younger brother, I'm sorry I was too thick headed and self centered to tell you that. You meant a lot to me and I'm sorry for what happened to you. I begged you guys not to come here. I can only assume you knew what would happen to some degree. Last thing you said to me was to thank me for the lessons I taught you along the way. I never actually thought that would be the last time I saw you.
I can remember once when I had a cold, you came to my room while I was asleep and left me that panda you used to carry around. It was times like that that showed me how wrong I had been about you.
I love ya, little monkey, no, little brother. " A's tears fell more freely now,
"Your friend, Cynthia, she eh- she sends her love. She took it real hard. She's doing pretty well for herself. She got married last November, has a little girl of her own now. I'll look after them for ya. I know what she meant to you.
As for me, I got twins at home, both girls Quin and Lovelle. We eh call her Love. Hope you don't mind." A shivered, the cold,harsh wind brushed against his face.

"You weren't supposed to die, you were still too young for it all to end. Don't mean to cut this visit short, but you know how it is. It's tough, you know. I gotta go, I'll try not to stay away so long next time. Love you guys and I'll see ya."

A felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see a dark haired man standing beside him.

"Mr. Matsuda?" A said in surprise.

"I see you found them, I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks. Can I ask who brings these flowers, it's just-"

"I do. It's my way of thanking them for everything. Ryuzaki usually said I was an idiot but I can't help feeling like I should be grateful for their sacrifice, even if he didn't care about me."

"I wouldn't say that, He let you stick around right?"

"Yeah, but chief Yagami was the one who-"

"Then he was pushing you to do better. He saw something in you and he challenged you to improve yourself, to prove him wrong, that's what wanted. Sometimes you gotta come down on someone for them to see their potential."

'You really think he-'

"Yeah." A answered. "Let's get out of the cold.' The men gave one final glance and made their way to back to their cars. A felt grateful to Matsuda who not only gave him the gift of closure but also peace of mind knowing his loved ones had not been forgotten.

Description
A/N this follows my story Raising L but takes place after the anime.
Warning for language

A moved slowly past the headstones. The only sound came from the soft crunching of snow beneath his feet. A never cared for cemeteries and the somber feeling that hung over them. His heart heavy with grief, he stopped in front of two graves with no names given.
He noticed the flowers laid over them.

This must be the place that Matsuda guy was talking about. He thought to himself. He stood silently, trying to find the right words. What could he possibly say? He turned to the grave on the right.

"I never thought this day would come old man." He began. "You were gonna outlive us all. That's what we all thought. You were a tough old guy. I-" A cleared his throat, bowing his head. "I told you,you shouldn't have come here. I had a bad feeling about this, how many times had I told you that?" He clenched his fists as he spoke.

"There were others that needed you too, you know. We didn't see eye to eye on many things but damn it, you raised me like I was your own. You always stood up for me when everyone else said I'd never be anything, I gave you such a hard time, tried to hurt you before you could hurt me when I was growin' up. It took me such a long time to realize that...you weren't gonna hurt me at all. You wanted me to succeed in life. I just wish I understood you sooner. Sorry I couldn't be here when they-to tell you this before." He sniffled, wiping away the tears from his cheek.

"Damn, told myself I wasn't gonna do this. Ain't that always the way it goes Watari?" A let out a humorless chuckle. "Anyway, I just couldn't bring myself to believe it.Even after all this time. Of all the things I should've said, and never did, most important thing was that you did a lot for me, you stepped up when everyone else stepped out. I appreciate that and...I love ya, old man, even when I acted differently. So thanks again."

A took in a deep breath as the snow began to fall around him. He turned to the second grave.

"You.. You smartass little monkey, I remember the trouble you used to give the old man and me when he brought you home. There were so many times I wanted to grab ya and shake ya, screaming what the hell is wrong with you. I didn't take the time to understand the reasons you acted like you did. I never got over the time you waited for Watari to leave the room and I was sayin' how small you were I said you were two and you showed me three fingers. Watari didn't believe me, the look you gave me that day,you were messing with me and we never did get over our...what did the old man call it...sibling rivalry?" A shook his head.

I'll give you this though, anytime life got too tough, there you were, pushing me foreword I always hated that you were three steps ahead of me and that Watari adored you. You were his favorite son. From the start you gave us hell at every turn, everything from biting to locking us out. Always too smart for your own good. Always had to have the last word. As much as you and me argued or fought, drove the old man crazy we shared a level of respect as you got older. I never said this but...I did kinda see you as a younger brother, I'm sorry I was too thick headed and self centered to tell you that. You meant a lot to me and I'm sorry for what happened to you. I begged you guys not to come here. I can only assume you knew what would happen to some degree. Last thing you said to me was to thank me for the lessons I taught you along the way. I never actually thought that would be the last time I saw you.
I can remember once when I had a cold, you came to my room while I was asleep and left me that panda you used to carry around. It was times like that that showed me how wrong I had been about you.
I love ya, little monkey, no, little brother. " A's tears fell more freely now,
"Your friend, Cynthia, she eh- she sends her love. She took it real hard. She's doing pretty well for herself. She got married last November, has a little girl of her own now. I'll look after them for ya. I know what she meant to you.
As for me, I got twins at home, both girls Quin and Lovelle. We eh call her Love. Hope you don't mind." A shivered, the cold,harsh wind brushed against his face.

"You weren't supposed to die, you were still too young for it all to end. Don't mean to cut this visit short, but you know how it is. It's tough, you know. I gotta go, I'll try not to stay away so long next time. Love you guys and I'll see ya."

A felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see a dark haired man standing beside him.

"Mr. Matsuda?" A said in surprise.

"I see you found them, I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks. Can I ask who brings these flowers, it's just-"

"I do. It's my way of thanking them for everything. Ryuzaki usually said I was an idiot but I can't help feeling like I should be grateful for their sacrifice, even if he didn't care about me."

"I wouldn't say that, He let you stick around right?"

"Yeah, but chief Yagami was the one who-"

"Then he was pushing you to do better. He saw something in you and he challenged you to improve yourself, to prove him wrong, that's what wanted. Sometimes you gotta come down on someone for them to see their potential."

'You really think he-'

"Yeah." A answered. "Let's get out of the cold.' The men gave one final glance and made their way to back to their cars. A felt grateful to Matsuda who not only gave him the gift of closure but also peace of mind knowing his loved ones had not been forgotten.