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dashinvaine — ORPHEUS completed ballad

Published: 2004-01-03 17:57:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 2717; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 114
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Description ORPHEUS

1.
I blessed the gods that gave you breath,
Eurydice, fair as the moon;
I cursed the fate that caused your death
And stole you from my arms so soon.

I could not sing as much as cry
It could not be that you were gone;
It could not be that you could die
When in my soul such love lived on!

I sang of grief to gods and men
I sang and wept above your grave
Then I wondered Earth grief-blinded
To Taenarus, where I found the cave;
A dark cleft in a wall of rock
Above the pounding waves,
That leads to where the spirits dwell
That found no rest within their graves.

The world beyond tore you away
To dwell among the dead
Outside, alone, I could not stay
For all my mortal dread.

My sin was loving from the heart
And loving without end,
When death our oneness pulled apart
I knew I must descend
Down to what lies beyond the tomb,
That place of bleak, stygian gloom;
The sunless, skyless, cheerless clime
That claimed my love before her time.

2.
The passages tortuous wound
More deep, more dark, below the ground
And grief hung heavy in the air
To crush intruders with despair.
To make my darker feelings fade
I took my lyre and music played
I sang of memories of life
And kept in mind my dear lost wife!

A thing of nightmare blocked my way
A vast and monstrous hound
Three headed, with a mane of snakes
That writhed and snapped around.

I knew this beast as Cerberus
The devil dog, the sentinel
The thing of myth, with breath of fire,
That stands to guard the gates of Hell.


It was soon after our wedding
That a serpent bit my bride
While she fled from Aristaeus
And before the night she died.
Now I saw the mane of Cerberus
And heard the serpents hiss,
And recalled their earthly brother
Who had killed her with his kiss.

I also heard what last she said
Before I lost her to the dead
That such a love as hers and mine
Mere death could not make us resign!

Ah, with so much pain within me
It was agony to play,
And I feared I must be slaughtered
By this thing that barred my way…

Yet my playing was beguiling
And it soothed the savage beast
Soon the three heads ceased their growling
And the snakes no longer hissed
Thus I passed the dreadful guardian
And I climbed over his chain
And I passed beyond the threshold
Into Pluto’s dark domain.

3
The brittle bones crunched where I trod
And skulls lay stacked against the walls
And pillars disappeared above
Supporting these infernal halls.

The ossuary halls seemed endless,
But in time the last gave way
To a never-ending cavern
Where a buried city lay
And the walls of homes and temples
Rose in ruins, cracked and dry
And from each forsaken denizen
Rose one lamenting sigh.
And I knew this to be Hades
Which confines the wretched shades
Of the dead who failed to make it
To the blessed Elysian glades.

The scent of life-blood drew them,
From the shadows, from the lanes
Ghastly ghosts, half mad with hunger
For the substance in my veins.
Oh how could I think of Eurydice
Becoming such as this,
As forsaken and as ravaged
As the ghosts of the abyss?
So fresh and soft and bright in life
All that my anguished soul adored,
I dared not seek my cherished wife
Amid this grim and ghastly horde.

And the pale ones shuffled closer
And they stared with deathly eyes,
And their wizened hands reached for me
And I heard their groans and cries…

In each face I saw the torment
Of the damned who languish here
Yet my music seemed to soothe
Their maddened minds as they drew near.

4.
And so I passed between them,
To a great, imposing hall
Both more glorious and more grotesque
Than aught that I’d seen before
On a throne above a dais
Sombre Pluto did preside
With Persephone death-tainted
Yet bewitching at his side.

This was not a court where poets
Or minstrels would entertain;
In their place were the accursed-
The souls who toiled in endless pain.

The fair daughters of Danaus
To punish some forgotten crime
Here were made to fill a leaking bowl
With water for the rest of time.
A fallen prince named Tantalus
Bore yet a crueller curse
He stood to his neck in water
Yet could never sate his thirst.
And elsewhere the wretched Sisyphus
A rock up great slopes bore
And ere he reached the top he had
To recommence once more!
And a host of demons kept
These wretched inmates at their labour
A hopeless place indeed to come
To beg a god for favour!

5
The underworld’s dark ruler’s wrath
Burned darkly in his deadly stare
‘Who’s this- that trod the outlawed path
To desecrate my hallowed lair?

Persephone, though, met his eyes
And said, ‘Lord I’ve grown sick of sighs
This poet has come such a way
How would it harm to hear his lay?’

I thus started slowly playing,
Though my soul and limbs felt lame
I felt too weary for laying
So I sang the words that came…



I sang of love and like a spell
It seemed to touch the heart of hell
For Tantalus forgot his thirst
While the Danaides, who were cursed
To endlessly fill the bowl that drains
Were given respite from their pains,
And Sisyphus his rock down laid
To listen to me as I played,
And those harsh fiends that oversaw
Forgot their duties, lost in awe.


I sang about my journey
My path guided by Eros
How I sought what death had taken
How I could not bear the loss.
I sang of sweet Eurydice
Of our marriage marked by doom
And of a love that disregards
The very boundaries of the tomb.

It rules the hearts of men above
All know it to be so
Could it be that the power of love
Was weaker here below?

I desired to learn no secrets
I desired to gain no fame
Eurydice who died too soon
For her alone I came.
To unite again, I begged them,
The thread of her severed life-
And to let me leave this realm
Once more united with my wife.
Well I knew that, ultimately,
All that live must finish here;
But my darling had not years enough
For one who was so dear.
I begged the god to let her live
And come with me away
Or, if not, at least to give me death,
And let me with her stay.
I could not go on alone, and
My song ended with this oath:
That she must rejoin the living
Or that death must have us both!

6
King Pluto’s Queen, herself his slave
Pitied the girl I sought to save
And beseeched her lord, teary eyed,
To let me take away my bride.
But grave Pluto showed no sign
Of any mercy for our plight,
And I feared that he designed
To keep my love his slave by right.

In time, though he seemed to relent
And guards to fetch the girl he sent
Ere they returned he said to me
‘We shall set Eurydice free
But one condition I impose
If I am to release your rose:
That ere you reach the other place
You must not look back at her face,
Keep silent, and look not behind
Or once more she’ll be here consigned!’

I heard the footsteps from afar
As Pluto’s guards returned
And as the door opened ajar
My back to it I turned.
Towards me soon came other steps
So light so soft upon the ground,
My thumping heart within me leapt
For well I knew their silent sound-
The tread of my love’s dainty feet,
What’s more I caught her scent so sweet,
Such joy, oh I could hardly stand
I reached back, and she took my hand!

I was seized at once with longing
To just gaze upon my love,
But I knew it would be fatal
Ere we reached the world above;
So without a backward glance
I started out for our home land
And my darling walked behind me,
Holding firmly to my hand…

We traversed the maze of passages
That wound towards the cave
Filled with cobweb covered bones
And all the darkness of the grave.
It was not the end of shadows,
It was not the end of fear
But the air was tasting fresher
And the end was growing near
Somehow I maintained my bargain
And kept Pluto’s words in mind
As I led my beauty homeward
I gave not a glance behind.
But to feel her hand so slender
And to know her lips so near
Was to let my soul surrender
To a glowing rush of cheer.

Up ahead the sky was shining
And the purple mountains shimmered
While the golden sun was rising
Over silver waves that glimmered.
Then I saw the gaping cave mouth
And I smelled the salty sea
And I knew we’d almost made it
And I knew we’d soon be free!

And I heard the skylarks singing
And the fire within me burned
And I wanted so to face her-
And embrace her- and I turned.

7.
Hermes fast appeared and held me
Frozen, helpless in a spell-
While a hungry, heaving darkness
Pulled my dear one back to Hell!
Both her arms she reached towards me,
Still I hear her plaintive cries-
And I’m haunted by the look
Of desolation in her eyes.

In a moment it was over
My appeals were all in vain
For a second time I lost her
Doubled- boundless- is the pain.

To lose again a love so pure
A love so sweet, so rare,
Is more than mortal can endure
And more than soul can bear.
There is such a wound within me…
But some day it will be healed
When I walk again with Eurydice
In some Elysian field.
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Comments: 27

TheLastOfTheFirst [2012-02-26 03:42:53 +0000 UTC]

Wonderfully done.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

fagashquill [2004-11-01 09:47:50 +0000 UTC]

Excellent work - such an achievement! The lanquage is beautiful and lyrical and flows very well. I felt there were two awkward lines - in the 10th stanza, I felt the line 'Mere death could not make us resign' seemed overlong. And later, 'And guards to fetch the girl he sent' seems grammatically awkward. I really like the range of appeals to the senses which help to make Orpheus's experience of Hades all the more vivid -'The brittle bones crunched where I trod' is a brilliant line. This is a really wonderful epic, great work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to fagashquill [2004-11-01 10:49:17 +0000 UTC]

your thoughts are much appreciated. It is sometimes difficult to keep it flowing and to still tell the story, without making it longer and longer....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fagashquill In reply to dashinvaine [2004-11-01 20:23:06 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome. I certainly would not be able to sustain a poem of that length. Your poem is a great accomplishment.

Have you read Carol Ann Duffy's poem 'Eurydice'? It has a feminist slant and a nice twist to the Orpheus story. In the poem, Eurydice tricks Orpheus into turning back. Your version, however, is more faithful to their great love for each other.

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dashinvaine In reply to fagashquill [2004-11-01 20:55:32 +0000 UTC]

No, maybe I'll track it down.

Or maybe I'll give it a miss.

'Feminist slant' on a great Greek tragic love story.
Nothing's sacred!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fagashquill In reply to dashinvaine [2004-11-01 21:41:35 +0000 UTC]

Er ... no, nothing's sacred.

Perhaps, I should advise that you don't check out Ms Duffy.

And you wouldn't want to sully your eyes by finding out what liberties I've taken with Shakespeare. You really wouldn't.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to fagashquill [2004-11-02 16:40:26 +0000 UTC]

Anne Hathaway will be mad...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

jkearney [2004-11-01 04:43:07 +0000 UTC]

It's beautiful! You used beautiful language and a good rhythm. It rhymes well but it isn't contrived, which is important. The storytelling is good, too. I like it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to jkearney [2004-11-01 10:47:54 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PhantasmMarquesses [2004-05-08 20:54:28 +0000 UTC]

Wow....Im speechless...
Im really glad you made me read this, its utterly fantastic! Great work. very very wonder!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to PhantasmMarquesses [2004-05-08 21:52:35 +0000 UTC]

I hope I didn't 'make' you read it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PhantasmMarquesses In reply to dashinvaine [2004-05-08 21:56:40 +0000 UTC]

No your didnt "make" me read it. but you knew what I ment

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

greumach [2004-01-11 13:15:53 +0000 UTC]

A superb rendition , Gordon , I congratulate you on the excellence of this . All the Best

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mythandlegend [2004-01-10 05:45:51 +0000 UTC]

Thats...just very very very..I dont know how to put it..Good, great...fantastic?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

snowwhitemuse [2004-01-08 18:15:37 +0000 UTC]

"I sang of love and like a spell
It seemed to touch the heart of hell"

o.o

oh my lord, I love this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to snowwhitemuse [2004-01-08 19:09:39 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lucretia [2004-01-05 07:46:24 +0000 UTC]


Love it Love it Love it!!!
You are such a talented writer.. Really!
Im always in quiet awe of those who master the written word, mainly because I have never been that good at writing myself. So people like you really do have my most heartfelt respect. Bravo!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to lucretia [2004-01-05 12:06:54 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks. Obviously it's a very old story. But I felt it leant itself well to one of these longish poems of doom, love and tragedy, the sort of thing Byron might have written.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

chrisbeaver [2004-01-05 05:13:53 +0000 UTC]

This brought back so many memories of my high school Mythology class...

I'll just state my opinion like this -- this is gunna be the first time I a literature piece.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to chrisbeaver [2004-01-05 12:11:20 +0000 UTC]

Thanks very much, you honour me, sir!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mysterious-shadow [2004-01-04 11:25:59 +0000 UTC]

yei! youve finished it! tooks me a long time to read, but it was worth it - its great!! well done i love the style in which youve writen it (although its a bit much for my brain) i bet its hard ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to mysterious-shadow [2004-01-04 11:37:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for reading it. I'm sorry about the obscure and difficult bits.

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mysterious-shadow In reply to dashinvaine [2004-01-04 17:30:07 +0000 UTC]

^^ thats ok, makes it more intesting and clever

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RemiroQuai [2004-01-03 19:20:12 +0000 UTC]

This is quite a read...
Although I am not that familiair with Orpheus I think you recreated the story well.

One thing, This is quite a powerfull poem concidering the choice of words I think that when you try to incapsulate a store it is oftenly better to write less. (-=+) especially considering the words you have chosen to use.

They truely are very beautiful though I do think a shorter version would enhance the reading pleasure.

Great work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to RemiroQuai [2004-01-03 21:45:07 +0000 UTC]

Fair point. Which parts would you edit out?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RemiroQuai In reply to dashinvaine [2004-01-03 22:21:31 +0000 UTC]

I will have to analyse the whole thing and to be honest I am a bit tired so I'll look into it tomorrow if you don't mind.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dashinvaine In reply to RemiroQuai [2004-01-03 22:39:12 +0000 UTC]

I would appreciate your opinions whenever it would be convenient for you to share them. Thanks again.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0