Comments: 16
teabloom [2016-10-12 00:31:57 +0000 UTC]
To be honest, I have never read a tragic backstory that has been this well done. With most characters, these stories of abuse are taken lightly, and they hardly ever affect the characters in a negative way. In Crepuscular's case, we can see how negatively these events affect her, and even push her to suicidal thoughts. What I'm trying to say is, you really wrote her tragic backstory well. You made it very believable, and though it was angsty, it wasn't overly angsty. Nice job!
I do enjoy Steelworker's design. Though it's simple, what's there is nice. However, I believe you would benefit from making his eyes a lighter red, or perhaps even changing them to yellow or light orange? I think that would help them pop a bit more, but that's just a suggestion.
Crepuscular is designed very well. Her colors go together nicely. The dark blue of her mane goes nicely with her lighter colored coat. However, I must criticise the drawing you did of her at the bottom, where she's chained up. The coloring is a little too dark, and it makes the snout disappear into the hair almost, not to mention her face does look a bit squished. However, the shading on the metal collar isn't bad, and the hair is lovely as usual
Finally, Oasis looks absolutely bad ass. Usually, when I am presented a pony with all these body markings and accessories, it looks cluttered, and the colors often clash horribly with one another. Here, however, Oasis's scars and stripes are distanced evenly enough from each other so that they don't look cluttered in the slightest. Not to mention the colors you chose go nicely together because they are slightly darker or lighter variations of one another. And I love how his hair ties and eyes are the same color. It ties the whole thing together. On one final note, those plates on his legs look hella cool.
Amazing job on this one Dawn!
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Dawn22Eagle In reply to teabloom [2016-10-12 11:44:20 +0000 UTC]
Ahh, how I'd missed these long poems of yours <3
First of all, thanks a lot for everything. I always find your small critiques very helpful ^^
The story was pretty difficult to write. I was actually planning on writing a sort of one-shot about it, or something like that, but I often have trouble "balancing" tragedy and realism when it comes to these kinds of things. I'll see what I can do. I'm happy I managed to do it while writing the headcanon, though!
His character probably won't be shown anywhere else. I just wanted to show how Wish's mate was, and how he clearly wasn't Raven's father. You might be right on the eyes, though I don't think I'll worry too much over his design, which I created in like 10 seconds.
I wanted to make Crepuscular's colors a bit darker than Raven's, but it was hard not to choose the exact same shades. I ended up opting for that dark blue-ish, which probably wasn't a good idea since it completely mixes with the mane's violet... But whatever. The drawing you mentioned was meant to remain as a sketch, so I can understand why Wish's face looks kinda off as you said.
Oasis' design is probably among my favorites, I had a lot of fun with it. It's terribly difficult to render any time, but I guess it's worth the effort after all :3
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Sylph264 [2016-09-26 22:08:13 +0000 UTC]
Considering how evil he is, I really hate to say it, but I seriously love Oasis' design. Your choice of markings and accessories is perfect as far as I'm concerned. ^^ Your story is very well written! Wish's imprisonment was horrifically tragic, and your writing is able to make that abundantly clear while still retaining enough focus to continue telling the tale. Well done. ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Dawn22Eagle In reply to Sylph264 [2016-09-27 18:35:00 +0000 UTC]
Again, thank you so much :'3 As I've already told you a million times or so, your comments always make my day <3
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DingoBreath [2016-09-17 06:52:54 +0000 UTC]
oh wow this was really sad lol. i love it. i like reading more dark heacanons from people! it inspires me to do a more realistic direction to my next gen.
i really feel for raven's mom...what happened to her body?
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Dawn22Eagle In reply to DingoBreath [2016-09-17 12:09:16 +0000 UTC]
Thank you a lot <3 That's what happens when I read too many II World War books lol
Her body was probably hidden in the woods not too far from where Oasis abandoned Raven, so the royal guards wouldn't find it (they effectively didn't).
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MissAppolonia [2016-09-16 19:55:26 +0000 UTC]
A pity Oasis is such a cruel individual, as he also is a handsome one, especially with his mane down.
A wonderfully dark backstory, thank you for sharing.
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Dawn22Eagle In reply to MissAppolonia [2016-09-17 12:02:36 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much :3
I always regret giving bad guys handsome designs, but I was too tempted XD
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Sin-of-Invidia [2016-09-13 20:44:25 +0000 UTC]
IT'S SO DARK I LOVE IT
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Artevotti [2016-09-13 20:37:33 +0000 UTC]
oh no
oh N O
mi dispiace così tanto per Raven! e anche per Crepuscolar wish TmT
Oasis è così un figo però
solo che è stronzo
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Dawn22Eagle In reply to Artevotti [2016-09-14 15:18:15 +0000 UTC]
Oasis è sexy, ma ben poco raccomandabile ahimè
Adesso però Ravey è con mamma Luna! Non ti consola la cosa? Anche se rimane quasi scorbutica come Radi XD
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RavenHeart1984 [2016-09-13 20:33:53 +0000 UTC]
poor steelworker,poor crepuscular wish,poor baby.
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VampMaiden [2016-09-13 20:32:45 +0000 UTC]
holy shit
i feel really bad now
poor Crepuscular ;w:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
VampMaiden In reply to Dawn22Eagle [2016-09-14 17:24:58 +0000 UTC]
Its ok xD i read it at my own risk
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