Comments: 29
SurrealBrain [2013-04-15 02:30:33 +0000 UTC]
Looking forward to this. I man have been a bonehead and not pledged, but I will see to it that I have the money to buy it when it comes out!
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Afgncaap5 [2013-03-10 20:51:42 +0000 UTC]
Heehee... nice.
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BlehMaster7 [2013-02-19 22:52:13 +0000 UTC]
Hey, I heard about this through the Kickstarter page, and I gotta say, this is pretty clever writing here! And with Ian Flynn on board, I have little doubt that the main story will retain this consistently quality writing throughout.
That said, I kinda have an artwork-based criticism. And that is...that you forgot the bandage on Bashu's leg in the first panel-*shot*
But seriously, my main problem is that while the writing here conveys the characters' personalities very well, I can't really say the same for their facial expressions, specifically, their eyes. From what I've seen, every bat character seems to consistently have the same eyelids-half-lowered look of complacence to them, no matter what the situation, what they're doing or how they're feeling. I'll just give you some examples of how I think that can be improved with this page here.
In Zachary's case, it's fine. He's supposed to be the calm mentor, so he doesn't really need any alteration. However, in the case of Bashu, to more effectively convey what he's feeling and to further complement the writing, I would, in the second panel, raise his eyelids and have one of his eyebrows lowered in puzzlement. Then in the fourth panel, his eyebrows/eyelids would be raised, and the shape of his mouth would kinda be flipped upside down and pushed a bit to the side of his muzzle, if you get what I'm trying to say here (Then again, his mouth can stay the way it is if he's just being a difficult wiseguy). And finally, in the last panel, his eyes would be shut tight.
Don't get me wrong, I think you've got a good thing going here. If I'm being critical, it's only because I want this series to be the best it can be. I'm something of an animation nut, so I'm a bit sensitive to these kinds of things.
Anyways, apologies for the wall of text, congrats on the Kickstarter, and best of luck in your future endeavors!
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Alyxandra-J-Shaw [2013-01-29 07:20:45 +0000 UTC]
ROFL! Well that's one way!
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jamatuselin [2013-01-28 03:18:47 +0000 UTC]
OH, is the first, I want more XD
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‘‘‘SILVER IS AWESOME!!!
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dawnbest In reply to jamatuselin [2013-01-28 12:05:41 +0000 UTC]
More to come! If you're signed up for the newsletter, there'll be one at 9AM today, in fact. :3
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jamatuselin In reply to dawnbest [2013-02-02 04:02:59 +0000 UTC]
Thanks ^^
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‘‘‘SILVER IS AWESOME!!!
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GrimweaverArt [2013-01-27 11:37:53 +0000 UTC]
LOL XD!!
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SSX-fan [2013-01-26 20:49:00 +0000 UTC]
lol last panel XD
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SSX-fan In reply to dawnbest [2013-01-27 16:10:53 +0000 UTC]
XD shush lol
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DarkHedgehog23 [2013-01-26 18:27:45 +0000 UTC]
XD heheh oh man
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DarkHedgehog23 In reply to dawnbest [2013-01-26 18:35:38 +0000 UTC]
X3 so close can't wait to see it
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