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dawnbest β€” One-Shot: The Zen of Zachary

Published: 2013-01-26 16:56:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 2106; Favourites: 41; Downloads: 19
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Description Going to be doing some single-page stories for Sylvanna this week. Here's the first one! The second will be released exclusively to people signed up for the Sylvanna Air-Mail newsletter on Monday, so if you're not part of that, you can get in on it by visiting the website here: [link] It's totally free and I won't spam you or try to sell you stuff you don't want

Get more Sylvanna at SylvannaOnline.com
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Comments: 29

SurrealBrain [2013-04-15 02:30:33 +0000 UTC]

Looking forward to this. I man have been a bonehead and not pledged, but I will see to it that I have the money to buy it when it comes out!

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dawnbest In reply to SurrealBrain [2013-04-15 11:50:01 +0000 UTC]

Hehee, either way, the online version will be FREE! I can't wait to show it to ya Thanks for the support!

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SurrealBrain In reply to SurrealBrain [2013-04-15 02:30:59 +0000 UTC]

May, that was a typo.

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Afgncaap5 [2013-03-10 20:51:42 +0000 UTC]

Heehee... nice.

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BlehMaster7 [2013-02-19 22:52:13 +0000 UTC]

Hey, I heard about this through the Kickstarter page, and I gotta say, this is pretty clever writing here! And with Ian Flynn on board, I have little doubt that the main story will retain this consistently quality writing throughout.

That said, I kinda have an artwork-based criticism. And that is...that you forgot the bandage on Bashu's leg in the first panel-*shot*

But seriously, my main problem is that while the writing here conveys the characters' personalities very well, I can't really say the same for their facial expressions, specifically, their eyes. From what I've seen, every bat character seems to consistently have the same eyelids-half-lowered look of complacence to them, no matter what the situation, what they're doing or how they're feeling. I'll just give you some examples of how I think that can be improved with this page here.

In Zachary's case, it's fine. He's supposed to be the calm mentor, so he doesn't really need any alteration. However, in the case of Bashu, to more effectively convey what he's feeling and to further complement the writing, I would, in the second panel, raise his eyelids and have one of his eyebrows lowered in puzzlement. Then in the fourth panel, his eyebrows/eyelids would be raised, and the shape of his mouth would kinda be flipped upside down and pushed a bit to the side of his muzzle, if you get what I'm trying to say here (Then again, his mouth can stay the way it is if he's just being a difficult wiseguy). And finally, in the last panel, his eyes would be shut tight.

Don't get me wrong, I think you've got a good thing going here. If I'm being critical, it's only because I want this series to be the best it can be. I'm something of an animation nut, so I'm a bit sensitive to these kinds of things.

Anyways, apologies for the wall of text, congrats on the Kickstarter, and best of luck in your future endeavors!

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dawnbest In reply to BlehMaster7 [2013-02-20 00:12:28 +0000 UTC]

Thanks dear! These one-shots are just quick sketches. I actually draw, color and oftentimes write them in a single day. You'll be getting the MONEY art in the comic.

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Alyxandra-J-Shaw [2013-01-29 07:20:45 +0000 UTC]

ROFL! Well that's one way!

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dawnbest In reply to Alyxandra-J-Shaw [2013-01-30 02:40:53 +0000 UTC]

Troof!

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talonserena [2013-01-28 06:49:21 +0000 UTC]

Haha, noice. Sometimes it just take a little demonstration. Much more peaceful now.

Keen for more sneak peeks am I; it's a fun way to meet the cast. I'll keep an eye out for Monday's goodies.

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dawnbest In reply to talonserena [2013-01-28 12:05:21 +0000 UTC]

Well! If you're signed up for the newsletter, I'll be sending another at 9AM this morning And thank you much for the compliment!

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jamatuselin [2013-01-28 03:18:47 +0000 UTC]

OH, is the first, I want more XD
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‘‘‘SILVER IS AWESOME!!!

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dawnbest In reply to jamatuselin [2013-01-28 12:05:41 +0000 UTC]

More to come! If you're signed up for the newsletter, there'll be one at 9AM today, in fact. :3

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jamatuselin In reply to dawnbest [2013-01-29 04:05:31 +0000 UTC]

OH, great
How do I join?
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‘‘‘SILVER IS AWESOME!!!

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dawnbest In reply to jamatuselin [2013-01-30 03:10:01 +0000 UTC]

Go to SylvannaOnline.com and click on the newsletter link

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jamatuselin In reply to dawnbest [2013-02-02 04:02:59 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^^
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‘‘‘SILVER IS AWESOME!!!

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mistypine01 [2013-01-27 13:05:18 +0000 UTC]

Totally awesome comic art, Dawn. Peaceful combat is a slap upside your head. Or the MOE method.

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dawnbest In reply to mistypine01 [2013-01-27 13:57:27 +0000 UTC]

Truth!

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GrimweaverArt [2013-01-27 11:37:53 +0000 UTC]

LOL XD!!

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dawnbest In reply to GrimweaverArt [2013-01-27 13:57:34 +0000 UTC]

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AssassinsCreedgamer [2013-01-26 20:53:04 +0000 UTC]

The best way to shut someone up: A punch/slap to the face.

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dawnbest In reply to AssassinsCreedgamer [2013-01-27 13:58:00 +0000 UTC]

Glad you like!

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SSX-fan [2013-01-26 20:49:00 +0000 UTC]

lol last panel XD

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dawnbest In reply to SSX-fan [2013-01-27 13:58:04 +0000 UTC]

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SSX-fan In reply to dawnbest [2013-01-27 16:10:53 +0000 UTC]

XD shush lol

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FizzPuff [2013-01-26 18:32:19 +0000 UTC]

I sense a little sonic personality in the yellow guy This is looking good.

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dawnbest In reply to FizzPuff [2013-01-27 13:58:22 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, Bashu's a smart-ass. He grows considerably, though. It hopefully will be fun to watch.

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DarkHedgehog23 [2013-01-26 18:27:45 +0000 UTC]

XD heheh oh man

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dawnbest In reply to DarkHedgehog23 [2013-01-26 18:29:01 +0000 UTC]

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DarkHedgehog23 In reply to dawnbest [2013-01-26 18:35:38 +0000 UTC]

X3 so close can't wait to see it

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