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DearPoetry — I have an eating disorder.
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Published: 2013-06-12 15:25:26 +0000 UTC; Views: 7584; Favourites: 139; Downloads: 1
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Secret:“I have an eating disorder. What nourishes me, destroys me.”
Some of these secrets deal with very triggering content. And this one in particular struck a cord in me. I had a friend with an eating disorder, I tried to help her and that backfired for a long time.
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Comments: 25
...again. Another one to make me tear up.
Because this was me not too long ago.
And I'm still trying to ignore the urges to continue.
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I honestly think that urge is in all of us, even just the slightest bit.
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How could it not be? We turn on the TV and it's as though we ae being forced to make ourselves better, otherwise our happiness is in jeopardy. It's extremely difficult to deal with and I'm twenty-six. I can only imagine and empathize for young girls who live in this wild, digital age that allows you to become a narcissist in a few clicks a day. It's mind-blowing!
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very true, to the point, and strong. 
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When you said 'eating disorder' do you mean eating too much or not eating enough? 'Cause I'm deathly afraid of the former hitting me since I was able to lose 30-40 pounds last year (now I'm just trying to maintain the weight before I lose another 30-40 pounds).
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I've met so many people with eating disorders. In fact, I always worry that my former model sister has an eating disorder. Years ago, when she first started modelling, I saw a picture where her ribs were sticking out. She had to Photoshop it so they wouldn't. It's sad when you're so thin that even the modelling agents think you're too skinny.
I've had close friends with eating disorders. Currently, I have a male friend who wants to lose weight very badly. He is very stocky, rather muscular and would prefer to be thin. He exercises a lot and eats very healthy, but he doesn't lose weight. He's very unhappy about the fact that many people don't take men with appearance issues seriously.
Years ago, I had a friend who was dangerously anorexic and bulimic. She ate almost nothing and threw up the little food that she did eat. She also had obsessive compulsive disorder. At one point, she would eat exactly seven Skittles a day, and that is it. Now that I think about it, she probably did that because of the seven colors of the rainbow. When we would meet up, I used to pressure her to eat. But now I know that was wrong. For all I know, she probably went and threw it up right afterwards. Also, it probably only made her more resistant. Unfortunately, she stop talking to me because my friend (now former friend) showed some inappropriate pictures to her. I was so angry at that guy.
I had another friend who had an eating disorder, dissociative identity disorder ("split personality" or "multiple personality disorder"), bipolar depression, and was suicidal and self-mutilating. I tried to help her, but it was just too much for me. I had to realize if that I did as much as I could for her, but I would lose myself if I kept trying to save the day.
When these kind of things happen, you do the best you can, but you have to let the person solve their problems on their own. The best thing you can do is tell them to get counseling and a psychiatrist. If they choose not to go, you'll have to honor their wishes unless they're a danger to themselves or others. If they're in immediate danger, call 911. When they go to the hospital, they will probably be put in an eating disorder unit, and they can start to get the help they need. If they still don't get better, there's nothing more you can do; you might have to detach yourself from the person if you know you can't handle their instability.
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Aww....this is amazing <3 ! I may have an eating disorder myself but idk...but awwe well you tried to help her that is what mattered! 
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Yeah, at least they know that.
Thank you!
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You are very welcome!
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this stuck very close to home for me.
the third stanza is absolutely beautiful. all of it is beautiful but that line especially.
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Thank you. It was the first thing that popped into my mind when I read the secret.
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"I have an insatiable hunger
for beauty"
I really like those lines. As usually hunger is something I would connect to food, while the hunger for beauty in this case leads to problems with eating.
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It's terrifying how something so common as confidence can control us.
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