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deathfreak666 — Tears I Hide Inside...
Published: 2006-01-05 03:25:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 194; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 2
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Description
No one knows what I truly feel...Pain, suffering, and anxiety I conceal
I smile for a while
My feelings are not mild
Cracking and crumbling inside
I’m wanting to cry
If I do I will die
Breathe in- breathe out...
Sight without a doubt
Curling and swirling all around
Dazed and confused thoughts
Little crimson polka dots
Happy looks across my face-
While thoughts of death consume my space
Ketsuri- free me from my fate...
I have failed you all...
Shaken like a rag doll
Is anyone willing-
To help me with my feeling?
I don’t want to leave- no I’m not okay
Wilting and melting bones
Shadow's all alone
Staring into the light
Waiting for an endless night...
I plot my doom over and over again
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Comments: 24
*sigh* Beleive me...I know how you feel...I feel the same way. It's not so bad now...one of my problems has slightly resolved...but one is still really big but I need courage to face it. I act brave but I'm not. I still, everyday have to go to school and face those who make me miserable all over again.
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There is only one person in my life that makes all my problems fade, and that person is my fiance but I still do have a few problems jabbing at me every now and then. He is my strength, he's the reason I am still here fighting thine problems instead of hiding, fading into nothing again. I am sure you'll do fine with the problems you're facing.
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I'm glad you have somebody there for you! I'm 12 so I don't have a fiance...just my friends...but I'm not close enough to discuss my problems with them...
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Yes scream into pillows and don't cut urself no matter what. Punch the pillows do something to anything but urself.
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screaming into pillow= pass out, I'll choose strangulating the black pillow thing....
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I totally get this.
I'm in exactly the same spot...
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Not that fun, well for me its not...... I want out but I cant find the light...find the exit....... I just keep spinning around and around....
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Of course it's not fun, no matter what situation we are both in, cuz they might be different, but I know how you feel. I've been through it all. I mean, everything. I 've been trying to find a way out for a looong time now, and the only I found was cutting. And once you think you found the light or the exit, it ends up being wrong and you don't get away from anything. Then you think you found it again, but it was wrong, again. And the cycle contiunes, and it's like your spinning around and around...
and you can't escape...
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Thats exactly it, I've been down that winding path for the better.... haha better.....part of my life....... at least 13 years and Im tired of it
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Aren't we all tired of it?
Like I said, suicide isn't the key, but to some people it is.
Unfortunately I got into cutting, and I can't really stop.
It becomes an addiction, so I advise not getting into that.
Unless you already are, and then I'll say try and stop.
But try and vent it anyway you can.
Talking it out, writing it out, playing an instrument (me=drums)
find anything to try and get your mind off of the bad stuff.
And yes, I know, it's like the hardest thing in the world to do, believe me!
But try and hang in there.
~Natalie
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I am already into it and my way's out are my sisters( close friends), my bf, and poetry...
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No good.
Those are good ways out,
but try and concentrate on those more then cutting.
One of the reasons my not-any-more boyfriend broke up with me is because he couldn't stand me cutting myself.
I wouldn't want you to lose someone close to you because of cutting, like I did. I think that is the worst thing ever.
Think of it, what if your hand slipped and you really cut deep, and what if it killed you. How would your sisters feel? Your boyfriend?
Do you really want to risk it and possibly lose all that love?
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I know for a fact that he wouldnt leave me because of that, he used to cut but I have a knife of his and we are helping each other out of it and my sister cuts too, I also have 3 of her knives so we are helping her too..... we are each others life support..... My boyfriend and I have talked about if one of us kills ourself that who ever did it the other would follow, meaning if I killed myself he would do the same the next day so by him saying that right there has helped me out alot more than he knows.
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Ah, I see.
I'd say that's actually good to talk about that.
Have you taken a look at your scars by chance?
Do you just stare at them and think how ugly they are?
I do. But it's funny though, cuz I don't really regret doing it.
It's just that, the scars are VERY gross and ugly.
So I guess I'll never understand myself and why I do it.
No one will. It's all too complicated.
horrible scars + no regret = insane crazyness
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Talking to them about it helps though they usually end up being depressed because I have done that and wanting to do that them self but they never do, I talk them out of it. I have a scar fetish so I like the way they look, though I have yet to make designs in my skin....and I highly doubt I will.
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I'm not saying suicide is the way out, but sometimes thats all you can think of. I always think about it and I have so many people that love and care about me. I love and care for them back. But just sometimes when things aren't working out right, or after a breakup (thats me), or stress and pressure at school, it all starts to build up inside and you want to get rid of it and you just think suicide would be the right way...
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But Katie think of who all love you in school....... around your house........ outside your house........ everywhere.
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Tell me have you thought of who all love you though. May not be your parents or little britches but friends at school. Think of that and you will be able to find the exit...... find the light........ find your own way out.
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I have, believe me I have.... it doesnt help much...
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well then think of your bf and think of how much he loves you please
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*smiles* I am, not a moment I dont...
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I have, believe me I have.... it doesnt help much...
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