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Description
I could not for the life of me let go of my thoughts tonight so shitty finger sketch of my irl persona I guess 😬

Today was honestly just one of those good days that took a nasty spiral downward with every minute, and by the time I got home from work I just hated everything, I was ready to break something: my entire body has been aching tirelessly since I brought my snake’s 55 pound tank up the damn stairs alone and I was on my feet all 5 hours of my shift tonight—I’m convinced it made everything worse, and my boss being an absolute ass to me for no reason was just salt in the wound (can’t leave my job I’m so broke)

I never wanted things to get this low again after the first time a few years back, and it makes me think I and everything I do, especially my art/writing/other creativity is just a waste of my time and a waste of other people’s time, like I could be spending time trying to get better—well, that kinda fucking sucks when you literally have trauma from going to therapy

I know it’s really crushing to think that the things I love are obsolete, but what else am I supposed to do? It’s insanely difficult being an autistic person with HORRIBLE communication skills, literally nothing to make them likable, and a dysfunctional outlook on everything, and it’s even worse when depression/jealousy/etc get in the way

Idk why the hell I even decided to start posting art on DA again when I screwed up my past accounts so bad - I could name so many people who I’m sure have me blacklisted for one of two things: being a fucking weirdo or sticking my nose where it shouldn’t have been, and the sad reality is that maybe I’m just not cut out for being here, maybe no one wants me here cause I’m weird and annoying

I get so excited every time I finish a project I like, but it just doesn’t feel the same when I feel like everyone knows what my past accounts were like and have some predetermined notion that I’m a horrible person - I just want to make people happy, I want to inspire those who might not be so confident in their abilities…I never meant to do anything wrong, hell I don’t even know what I did

It’s so hard to live by the phrase “get up and fight again” when sometimes it’s just too damn hard, when you’ve fought too much and you just can’t get back up

Sorry for the long post and sorry if none of it made sense - I wish you all a good day/night 😌
——
Lyrics from: WORTH NOTHING by TWISTED (based on Jerk by Oliver Tree)

Description
I could not for the life of me let go of my thoughts tonight so shitty finger sketch of my irl persona I guess 😬

Today was honestly just one of those good days that took a nasty spiral downward with every minute, and by the time I got home from work I just hated everything, I was ready to break something: my entire body has been aching tirelessly since I brought my snake’s 55 pound tank up the damn stairs alone and I was on my feet all 5 hours of my shift tonight—I’m convinced it made everything worse, and my boss being an absolute ass to me for no reason was just salt in the wound (can’t leave my job I’m so broke)

I never wanted things to get this low again after the first time a few years back, and it makes me think I and everything I do, especially my art/writing/other creativity is just a waste of my time and a waste of other people’s time, like I could be spending time trying to get better—well, that kinda fucking sucks when you literally have trauma from going to therapy

I know it’s really crushing to think that the things I love are obsolete, but what else am I supposed to do? It’s insanely difficult being an autistic person with HORRIBLE communication skills, literally nothing to make them likable, and a dysfunctional outlook on everything, and it’s even worse when depression/jealousy/etc get in the way

Idk why the hell I even decided to start posting art on DA again when I screwed up my past accounts so bad - I could name so many people who I’m sure have me blacklisted for one of two things: being a fucking weirdo or sticking my nose where it shouldn’t have been, and the sad reality is that maybe I’m just not cut out for being here, maybe no one wants me here cause I’m weird and annoying

I get so excited every time I finish a project I like, but it just doesn’t feel the same when I feel like everyone knows what my past accounts were like and have some predetermined notion that I’m a horrible person - I just want to make people happy, I want to inspire those who might not be so confident in their abilities…I never meant to do anything wrong, hell I don’t even know what I did

It’s so hard to live by the phrase “get up and fight again” when sometimes it’s just too damn hard, when you’ve fought too much and you just can’t get back up

Sorry for the long post and sorry if none of it made sense - I wish you all a good day/night 😌
——
Lyrics from: WORTH NOTHING by TWISTED (based on Jerk by Oliver Tree)