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DeviantArtSecret — Secret. 10133
Published: 2011-02-18 11:23:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 3131; Favourites: 79; Downloads: 6
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Comments: 24
Never be ashamed of yourself, or who you've become. I wasn't much of a talker when I was a kid, I hated being that way. In retrospect, I realize that part of my life is what helped me to grow into someone who is confident and how can answer questions in a lecture hall of 150 students, and perform on stage in front of 100 people. From what I've learned in my short life, never ever be ashamed of who you are, because that will only make you fall farther away from who you want to be, shame get's you nowhere. Pride and a drive however, get you many places.
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Take a deep breath.
Plunge ahead. Do it again and again, and if it helps, reward yourself. Watch a movie, eat a strawberry, throw a secret party in your head, whatever it is that will make you happy.
Be proud of yourself.
Life is scary, true, but don't let it scare you.
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I'm 19 years old. I've struggled with the same problem my whole life. I went to a doctor 3 months ago and explained almost word for word what you said above, and told him that I needed help. I told him that I could not live the rest of my life this way. He sent me to a counselor and also ran what felt like a billion tests on me. I'm paranoid schizophrenic. I now take medication and talk to the counselor once a week. It may sound drastic, but even if you don't have the same problem as I do, going to see someone could help a lot. Or even just talking to a good friend. Or even, something that still today helps me, talk to someone online.
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I have social phobia. It used to cripple my ability to talk to anybody as well. I promise you, that with a little time and effort - it does get easier.
Don't tell yourself "Ok, I'm going to talk to this person..." because you just work yourself up even more, you put too much pressure on yourself, and then you wind up more nervous! Try to be spontaneous in who you talk to and why. You might surprise yourself. And let me tell you, being pleasently surprised of yourself is the BEST feeling in the world!!
I tried a psycologist...it didn't work for me personally, because like I mentioned - all the pressure of 'improving' made it much harder. But give it a go. Try every method out there. Because it will get better in time.
GOOD LUCK to you!
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I think that you should see a psychologist about your anxiety. You might want to try medication, love.
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I know how this feels. Not to that extent, but I did suffer from frequent panic attacks for about a year and I felt exactly like what you said about wanting to be the way you used to be and you feel like you've wasted your time. It's a horrible feeling, and I'm sorry you have to go through it. I'm improving now, and I'm talking to a therapist which helps and I also have anti anxiety medication that I can take if I start getting a panic attack (the shaking, heart racing, feeling like you can't breathe, etc.) and just knowing that I have it helps. Maybe you could look into some of those options? Good luck ST, I wish you the best 
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Practice makes perfect. Everyday you should try and go a little farther than you went the previous day. Talk to animals to start? (it can help) Then work your way up to strangers at the supermarket. If there's a will, there's a way. ^^ Don't lose hope. Everything'll be just fine. <3
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I get ya, ST.
I get so nervous when I'm talking to people. I don't know why.
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Oh, I feel like this all the time 
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Find help. Sounds like you have social anxiety, whcih gives you serious anxiety attacks on social ocasions..
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it sounds like u have social anxiety disorder have you talked to a therapist?
i can relate to this i've been like that as long as i can remember. its kept me from living.
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The person you used to be? Did something happen? If you need to talk you can always note me
But either way, take it easy, one step at a time. If you have even only one person in the world that you trust completely, then it only gets easier from there on
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I could have written this secret, every word. I know how it can not only ruin your future relationships with people, but your old ones too. I would have thought I would have my best friend until the end of my time, I thought I would get to be her brides maid. To see her first child born. To tell her future boyfriend(s) what dorky times we had, and what their really getting into. To hear her nervous voice when going to a college interview. To be with her through her parents deaths. To see her life, to see what she would accomplish. But I will never have that time with her, I cant even remember the last laugh we had together. I know how painful it can be. You meet someone who you would love to be with, or at the very least, be friends with. But you /cant/. You cant...show them who you really are, even if they stick around and know the half of how much your anxiety paralizes you. You look around, and everywhere you look, you see people...simply being themselves. Talking, building friendships, making memories. It hurts just to wake up, knowing you will see what you cant have, and how much you have fight /so/ hard for something people take for granted. Keep strong ST...if you ever want to message me, feel free. I wish you the strength and courage that I dont have, that you will need to get through this.
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this defines me D:
i've been trying to stop being like that by going out more, and trying out things i've never done before...
but still i am the same DX
either way, im wishing you all the best, ST
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I used to be that way all the time, ST. I know exactly how you feel...sometimes I still am..
But the biggest way to really get over that is to do random acts of kindness for random people--even people you may never see or speak to again. Believe it or not...it works.
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I'm the same thing too, ST. My mind go blank every time when I get nervous.
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I get that when I'm in front of ten people or more...
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i'd like to help you.
would you be so nice and send me a message?
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I know how that feels, though not as severely. It's a really hard thing to live through, especially when everyone just goes
"Oh, that's the shy girl. Leave her alone."
If you can, start by talking to one person in a relatively free, secluded environment. When you get comfortable, add another person. I think you can talk to a guidance counselor about it.
I don't really know what else to say, ST, but if you ever want to talk to someone, you can always drop me a note.
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Maybe all those times were a step for you to be someone else. I -completely- used to be you, I was asking the same question, but now I realized that I was creating my new me by this
I know how you feel, it's not easy at all. maybe you are waiting for something or someone change you forever
I hope it helps
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Perhaps you have some kind of social anxiety? Maybe if you tried seeing someone about it, you could gain more confidence and be able to face your anxiety, if not be completely rid of it.
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