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DeviantArtSecret — Secret. 4815
Published: 2009-02-10 12:33:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 3058; Favourites: 93; Downloads: 5
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Comments: 39
The fact that you feel you are worthless tells me you are depressed, and this is an *emotional* disorder. It has nothing to do with facts or logic.
Just because you FEEL worthless does not mean you are. It's part of your disorder.
I certainly hope you took the advice of those who urged you to get professional help. They have ways to help that now.
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I remember when I was depressed, but I never did anything. Most of the time I didn't even let myself know how bad I was. I hid like a coward, from everyone and myself.
It isn't healthy, but it's an invisible rotting. Sometimes you can't even see it yourself. So who really gets the chance to care?
mehhh. G'luck ST <3333 [hope you can figure it out and make it STOP]
For the record- I didn't get help either. Maybe you need it more than me, maybe you should listen to everyone else. But when you know how to hide and lie from yourself, how do we even really know what to tell someone?
[have some love <3]
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everyone is worth something. i hope one day you can believe that you're worth something too
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How did you feel after you got out of the shower?
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It does make sense, ST.
To many of us, at least.
We've all been there. We understand.
And we are here.
I hope you can find a smile, ST, and that tomorrow will help you realize your worth. Realize that you can over come this.
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You ARE depressed. What you're undergoing is denial. My father has that over his anger and anxiety issues, and we're trying very hard to let him come to terms with that before it literally gets him in trouble of some sort (because panicked people breeds more panic, after all).
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I have totally been here. You know what; day to day, ignore it is all you can really do; otherwise you might not get out of bed. Sometimes all you need is a warm shower and a good cry. I decided not to seek professional help; I was very close, and I didn't and I'm glad I didn't. Some people need it, some people don't. Either way it's hard.
I don't know - I'm of the school that's hesitant to quickly diagnose something. Especially something like depression because well, life is pretty depressing. That being said, whether you are "officially" depressed or not, going to a therapist might be worth your while. They aren't going to deny you services if you don't exactly fit the textbook definition. If you feel you need to let it all out, just know that you can. Just don't worry about whether you're "depressed" or not. You know how you feel; try to figure out how you can get closer to being happy.
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It's a thing we do; I know it, too. I still have no self esteem, myself, so I suppose I probably shouldn't be the one giving you advice...
I know it doesn't feel right to feel bad about yourself, and I know that no matter how many times people tell you different, the feeling of disappointment and annoyance never really quite goes away (at least for some things, if not most(it depends, right?)). The trick is to remind yourself that that's ok; that you aren't perfect, but you are YOU, and that you will always be trying hard. Because we're the kind of people who are always trying to be perfect, even after everyone else gives up. We may not like us, but that only fuels us to go higher and higher; people will learn our names, and see past all the slights and problems we can't.
And: we are never depressed. Depressed people need medication; you are strong enough to not need it. We are simply sad.
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Do yourself a favor, go see a funny movie. Hang out with friends. But don't be alone, trust me on this one, if you just keep it bottled up it will eat away at you over and over again. Express it, admit it, let it out, and let go. You only have one life, don't waste it on things that aren't worth it.
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You have life, so you have worth.
Make a garden, a phrase, a piece of art, or this secret: and you create worth for something(someone) else.
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Look in the mirror and search for the things you like. Go through every day and find the little things that can bring you joy.
Remember that everyone here calls out their love to you no matter who you are, where you are. We are here for you.
Please know you are not alone. No matter how alone we all feel at times, see from all we say here that you are not alone.
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I have chronic depression and I have broken-down in the shower many times. It has something to do with being in a relaxing environment all alone.
But, I figured out that what triggers my bouts of worthlessness and sorrow is self-pity.
As hard as it may seem to do, sometimes you just have to lift your head and tell yourself you are not going to feel sorry for yourself. You have to block out your past and focus on getting over the next hurdle in front of you- one step at a time.
Even though depression varies in each person, that is my advice to you.
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Go get free drugs. Your local clinic should be able to provide.
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That's how I used to deal with everything. Every night I would cry in the shower til I couldn't breathe; it was my only form of relieving my stress and letting it go.
The only remedy I can offer is just to take it a day at a time, and try to find some bit of happiness in something you do, or what someone says to you, whether it's "I love you" or a hug or whatever it may be.
Well, ST, I hope it all works out, (and to quote Donnie Darko) : "One day, I promise things will be better for you."
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Honestly? I have been given therapy that didn't work, pills that only sedate me, and I regret the fact that I had to get help. But I know it did me good. I know if not, I would have been in a much worse place than I am now. Once its out, it isn't so much of a burden that you must deal with.
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You are worth something. You are worth something because you are an individual and a living being and you need to acknowledge that. Everyone deserves better, especially from themselves. Too often we think that it's ok to treat ourselves badly because we aren't worth it or because we're not hurting any other people. It's not ok. You deserve better from yourself. Sending in your secret was the first step. It can get better.
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this is exactly how I am...
I only tell one person
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Talk to a therapist/psychologist/something like it. Dare to let it all out. Accept the help that is given you.
It's the best advice I can give, and it'd mean so damn much to me if you actually did it. It might not work for everyone, but at least it's worth a try. A year ago I finally took the first step and asked for help, I now go to therapy and eat anti-depressants and I feel better than I have my entire life. You can't imagine the relief you get when someone finally tells you that it's not normal to feel like you have done the past years, and that they can help you. They can help you.
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I hide my emotions too, when it boils over and I show it that means there's a serious problem. Pick yourself up and carry on. Try to change the world, in your own little way
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it's not true!
you don't seem like a bad person. (even if you don't see it that way. just like me).
someone told me one day, that there is no such thing as a good or a a bad person. you have to see the world with your own eyes, accept yourself the way you are, and believe in what you know.
please.
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I can relate. But there are things out there that make life totally worth living for. If you can find it, it can help.
Mine was photography for a while, before writing helped even more.
Find something you can't do without in life - not necessarily a person. A passion for something can lead you to new places. 
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Look at yourself in the mirror.
What is it about you that you hate/don't like?
Change it.
(I know it's harder than it sounds, but it will make you feel a hell of a lot better if you can set goals for yourself and achieve them.)
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I think that's a good idea.
*nod*.
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Sweetie, who ever you are, you are definitely worth it. <3 No self loathing, okay? I'm sure I do enough of that for the both of us.
Just like the first comment says, smile. (:
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You don't need to be diagnosed, and you have admitted it through submitting this secret. Admitting to it is the first step to helping yourself.
Write down a list of good things that happen each day. Think why they were good. How did you respond to them? Each time it's something positive, thats a good point about yourself.
Don't hate yourself for you are the best there is, don't let anything make you think otherwise.
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i love you. keep this in your heart, whoever you are, wherever you are and whatever you are. you matter to me. you are important. your inner selfdoes not embarass me. it does not make me think you are weak. i love you. remember that.
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If only you could favourite comments!
I love you.
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what a wonderful reply. So thoughtful and kind.
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I used to feel like this. I know exactly how it is.
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The world may not be a happy magical place we were made to believe when we were younger and it really tears at us when we learn the truths, but sweet heart. You are worthy of all the love in the world, all the care you can take, and all the eyes you desire... Don't you dare ever say you are unworthy of anything! Because you are. You are worthy.
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smile. one day you will see your true worth, and let it shine.
until then, just keep surviving.
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