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DeviantArtSecret — Secret. 5575
Published: 2009-04-18 10:29:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 2809; Favourites: 42; Downloads: 16
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Comments: 90
i hate how people class female sizes 12 + (uk sizes) "plus sizes"; what if you're tall? of course you are going to have a slightly bigger bone structure meaning youll be like a 10/12 rather than a five foot size 6/8 with a petite bone structure. it makes me sad 
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It has nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with LACK of control. It is a mental illness, not a self propelled cause.
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I stopped being so jealous a while ago... I watch the Biggest Loser so I KNOW for a FACT that I can get thin when ever I choose. So I am. No more feeling sorry for myself, if those people on that show who are far worse off than I am can do it... so the fk can I!!!!!!!!!!
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me too me too. u_u
But mostly because of how much willpower it must take to starve yourself.
I mean, I have never wanted anything so badly in my life
as those people want to be skinny.
It's honorable, really. .-.
On the other hand, I hate seeing pictures of anorexic people.
They freak me the hell out.
I don't know why. .__.;
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It's honorable except for the pain we cause everyone who cares about us; also, it's more honorable to stick to a HEALTHY diet than to starve oneself. I've done both, and the latter is far more difficult.
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Agreed. I don't see what's so honorable about making loved ones worry or fear.
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Especially when, as I said (and not just from my own experience, this is true of others I know, too), it's far harder to stick to a normal diet than to starve one's self.
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Tch. It'd take a lot less time if they did it the old-fashioned way, actually. I envy the people who can stick to a diet.
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I envy the will power.
Though in the serious cases, I guess it's really driven by disillusion of their self-perception..
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Ugh.
I HATE the fashion industry - we kill ourselves because a size 12 is fat? That's disgraceful.
I think that one thing that all women have in common is the insecurities they have because someone - however insignificant - said something that one time and you've never let it go.
And we shouldn't care what guys think, we need to care about what WE think of ourselves - because WE live with OURSELVES and you need to be happy with the skin you're in.
Every woman has the right to be beautiful. xxx
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ST:[link]
warning though, some of the pictures are graphic-ish.
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You don't envy me. It's one thing to want to lose weight. It's another thing for it to be your obsession, some perverse passion. Unattainable perfection. You can never be thin enough. :[
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Awh. This made me tear up.
Please get help or something, sweetie.
I wish I could help, too.
Don't you like, want curves? n' stuffs?
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I envy thin, fit and healthy people. Not sick ones.
And the thing is, even if you're the size of a hyppo, you'll find someone to love 
I'm proof enough of that. So don't worry, chin up, smile and all will be alright.
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I'm very naturally thin, I don't suffer or anything. But curves are beautiful, you need to realize that. Don't worry about society's standards, just be you.
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okay, i just wanna make a little, okay large shout-out to future comments on this one -- it is extremelyyyy hurtful and can even trigger a relapse in those with anorexic hearing comments about how ugly anorexia is. please...PLEASE PLEASE, i am begging you all who are about to comment in either direction to be very careful and mindful just how damaging and hurtful specific words and thoughts about anorexia or thinness or even heaviness can COMPLETELY derail a recovering anorexic or other eating disorder recoverer. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be careful with your comments here. i read two so far before i had to stop and i felt as if the couch and floor had fallen out from under me and i was whirling in a sea of images, thin, not thin, bones, food --- dangerous and deadly images to run rampant in the mind of an anorexic. Thank goodness enough of my mind had the sense to stop, scroll all the way down so i couldn't see any other comment and type this inside.
and i will tell you this: there is a huge part of my sick self that wants to bookmark this secret and devour every comment said about it. but i KNOW that will be my second death sentence.
anorexia kills.
i've died.
....they just had the power of electricity to shock me back to a pulsating heart.
PLEASE.
I beg you to be careful in all directions with whatever your thoughts on this matter are. because i know there are a HUGE handful of girls, women, men, and boys about to be caught in that same swirling spiral of flooding images, numbers, thoughts, and old tapes playing in their minds again that may make them break.
With that, I extend my hand to anyone who IS struggling after reading/seeing comments to GRAB MY HAND. stay out of the quicksand. close this window and DON'T TURN BACK.
for some this is a no-biggie secret at all.
For those of us which is really is, again i say TAKE MY HAND, PULL YOURSELF AWAY FROM THOSE ALL CONSUMING THOUGHTS AND MESSAGES AND TOGETHER WE WILL WALK AWAY. safe. stronger. and never alone.
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I don't! When I see all those bones poking out it makes me shudder! I saw one girl that looked like she would shatter at the slightest touch. No offense to those with anorexia, but it gets kinda creepy to see bones poking out.
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If you ever get the chance to spend time with an anorexic you'll see it really isn't anything to envy.
Although in photos the slimness looks glamorous, the shock if seeing it in real life is terrifying, and the daily routines of some extreme cases are horrible.
I had a friend who was an anorexic and I saw her turn from a talented dancer and musician to a small, paranoid and sad girl with hardly enough strength to get up in the morning.
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ST, that's NOT cool. It's agony to be starving yourself for beauty. It's NOTHING to envy. Anorexia makes someone HATE themselves so much, that they force themselves to do everything in their power to get thin. The only thing that is ever on their mind is FOOD. Constant exercise, starvation, vomit... It's nothing to envy, ST.
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I could have written this.
I think it all the time.
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I have bulemia but I can't make myself sick (I use my milk intolerance to purge... though I haven't done that for a while now 
I sometimes get those flashes of irrational envy but mostly I am thankful for my lack of puke power because my teeth aren't manky and I haven't fucked up my heart and kidneys.
I have fought anorexic phases for the same reason - fatness has its issues, but you can lose weight to get rid. The damage you do as an anorexic or bulemic takes YEARS to heal.
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If you try hard ST, you can have ALL the wonderful benefits that come wih anorexia too?
or theres diet and excersize
Or saying fuck society adn being happy with who you are but hey, the choice is yours.
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I know what you mean. It's illogical, and honestly when I see a lot of them I don't want to be THAT skinny. But I know what you mean.
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1 in 5 people suffering from anorexia die. it's a disease thats become worse due to media influence spreading the "thin-bug". Being that thin isn't pretty, anorexia is counter-productive. they get so thin in the attempt to be beautiful, but end up so much like a skeleton that the only guys who would be into that are the same ones who would want you to like flat on the bed and pretend not to breathe
I know you can't control your jealousy. 
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Oh yes, I did too. I felt jealous of how they resisted food and got skinny. And then I became anorexic, and I envied people who could eat without thinking about calories. I'm glad I got over it quickly and curvy is good
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I hate media and everything that says that being slim(really anorexic) is good and cool. Guys like at least some "meat" (muscle and fat, I'm not implying that all guys think of girls as pieces of meat),on their girls. I'm just saying. And it's not about the guys really, it's about you, yourself. I've known anorexic people, and really, the ones that are deep into it, are ugly, all they are is skin and bones. Alright they aren't ugly, but I think that's really gross. And personally, I am skinny, and am mistaken as anorexic, and recently lost weight from stress, and it hurts so bad. I feel my ribs, and laughing hurts sometimes, it's just really bad. People really truly prefer meatier people. And anorexia, shortens your lifespan tremendously, if you don't die in the next few years. Personally, I hate not eating, I love food, and eat all of the time. A lot of times, I wish I could gain weight. I hate feeling like I look anorexic, or like a skeleton. 
You have to pay more attention to your portions and be active and exercise. No diet pill, not eating, and making yourself throw up, will help you lose weight and feel good about yourself. Oh, and I once was overweight, but I got more active, and used up what food I did eat (and later on I got sick for a long while, then I started looking too thin in my opinion and not being able to gain weight properly. I basically had the same stuff going on as anorexics, but I didn't purposely not eat. I was fine with how I was after losing weight the right way, but nope, had to get sick after that).
Don't look at skinny people and get envious of them, just be happy and start working on yourself if it's that big of a problem to you. A lot of people think it should happen just like that, but nope, it takes actual work and time. Plus, you should realize, many anorexics are envious of everyone around them. No matter how skinny they are, others are still better looking (even if they have more weight than the anorexic person).
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Who gives a shit about guys who like curves? I've still never had a boyfriend and I'm fucking curvy.
ST: I feel the same way. ;-; -hug-
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Don't. Please don't.
It hurts and it's painful. And you can never reach your goal...because it's always going to be thinner and thinner.
Envy healthy people, please. Don't starve yourself.
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I agree with you there.
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Being so thin that you'd have to go to the hospital if you should trip and fall because there's no muscle there to keep your bones from breaking isn't really my idea of '
But hey, there's fat fetishes and amputation fetishes, guess there has to be a freakishly-zombie-thin fetish too.
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I used to think this way...in fact I dreamt about becoming anorexic...it sounded so perfect, getting to be so thin...and then I got diagnosed by a psychiatrist as an anorexic. Since the last one and a half years, my life has become a living hell. And I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone...
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Sure, they're thin and "pretty", until they get to the point where their body is eating away at their own muscle for lack of anything else to eat. Then it's just disgusting to look at--not to mention the smell, ugh, it's nasty.
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don't believe me if you don't want to but I think natural beauty is better than any extreme that someone pushes themself to.
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I think that any extreme is going to make someone unhappy. ):
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There's a secret by an anorexic girl; somewhre in the first thousand or even the first hundred, i think. It's just a summary of her daily schedule. Find it, read it, and tell me if you still feel that way.
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I'm not the ST, but I can remember feeling jealous of anorexics since middle school (12ish?). I've had many things planned out, including purging methods, how I'd lie to my mother about why I won't eat, goal weights, etc.
I've read secret 25, and to be frank, it just makes me feel worse about being obese, because I know I don't have the kind of will power to do anything about it (I've tried, many times). That secret just makes me want it more. I couldn't tell you why.
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Explain to me, how this is different for envying the determination and willpower of a suicide casualty?
If you had one wish {which has to be related}, what'd you ask for? Or rather, how would you word it? "To be thin", or "to be healthy"?
A point to consider: unless close, intrusive, professional help was forced upon ST0025 long before DAS made it to one thousand secrets - it's a safe bet that she is dead now.
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When I was suicidal, I envied that too. I consider(ed) myself a coward.
My wish? It'd probably be to be thin. There are times when I just think of 'healthy' as no more than a buzzword.
Believe me, I know my thought processes are irrational. I know that healthy should be (is) better than underweight/overweight. I know that I could ruin my body by doing what ST0025 did. I just can't help wanting it.
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So you're in a very tough place there. But you realize that your thinking pattern is irrational, which shows rare insight {most people with such a problem can't see through it}. Would you change your thought process into a more productive one, if there were a way do that without much effort?
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Perhaps that should be your top priority wish, then? :=}
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[link]
That would be secret 25, correct?
ST, I agree, read that secret.
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Yeah, that's the one. I have a VERY high nightmare threshold, but this one gets me very time.
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I don't envy anerexics because their thin, but becuase of the dedication it must require to get started.
If we all had that kind of dedication, imagine what we could create.
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obsession, rather. there's a difference
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I believe things like this is specifically why envy was made one of the seven deadly things.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
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