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Aliwoo [2008-02-08 18:49:20 +0000 UTC]

Did I write this in my sleep?

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OneLuckyAliCat [2008-02-06 04:49:11 +0000 UTC]

hell, i've hooked my crushes up with people before
guys i really really like

i know guys do it to
cause, well, most of my friends are guys, i don't get along with girls

the guys....do it allll the time
the try to set their friends up with the girls they like
it's kinda like they're testing their friend to see if he'll go for it
and also testing the girl they like
to see A) how the girl treats the guys she likes
B) to see if she'll go for a friend of his, usually a test to see if she like him(the guy doing the setting up)

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Echoes-of-the-Dead [2008-02-06 02:04:59 +0000 UTC]

valentine's day is just around the corner... could make a move then perhaps

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spiffytiffy128 [2008-02-05 17:18:31 +0000 UTC]

i love this, and love the word smitten just a lil advice, and it doesnt always work but if you want something, ask for it, it usually comes a lil quicker, good luck.

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Liesaa [2008-02-05 15:40:48 +0000 UTC]

wooh.. I guess the one above me gave you a lot of advice already.. so I'll just give you a hug, hoping that will help you just a little bit..

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Stacey73 [2008-02-05 14:32:44 +0000 UTC]

Meh. Telling them is no simple thing no matter what people say. Yet the sad fact of the matter is, unless you are able to stand up for the emotions you are currently experiencing, then you may well be placed in the position of being set up with someone you'd really rather not spend time with.

Of course, it may well be that they have made the suggestion TO set you up with this person simply to gauge -your- reaction to the suggestion.

Meaning that they may in fact be attempting to feel out how you might be feeling about -them- by offering you an alternative. Granted, it -does- paint you into the corner of needing to be the one to speak out first, but it does tend to point in that direction.

If you are sure of his sexual orientation ( and please understand that I do not mean that snidely or in a derogatory manner. It's simply a factor in this instance) then as a bystander, a mother and a woman, I would venture to guess that he might be attempting to see how you feel about -him-.

There are pitfalls to this approach that you need to be made aware of, however.

Even though he may be attempting to find out, he may not in fact know what he would do once he -found- out. This can lead to behavior of denial for a time in which he might feel the need to pull away for a time to re-group and figure out how to address the situation.

After all, -wanting- to know isn't quite the same as -knowing-. If he isn't ready to deal with the repercussions of his actions then you may well end up paying the price for a while until he screws his head back on straight. That can hurt and take a fair amount of patience to deal with.

Are you prepared for that yourself?

If so, then you can allow things to take their course and tell him flat out that you'd really rather not date this person he wants to set you up with and why.

Or, you can circumvent the issue a bit and come at him sideways out of the sun, so to speak.

Tell him when you're hanging out that you're planning on seeing a movie that night that's supposed to be cool. Would he like to come along and hang out there?

Nothing said about how you feel, yet the oppertunity to be in a one on one situation. It might serve well to clue him in to where you stand without needing to come right out about it if you don't feel ready.

It would also provide you with a chance to see him in another environment outside of your 'norm' and enable you to see if he behaves in a consistent manner and that you do indeed maintain the same feelings for him, regardless of comfort zone.

All of these are important things to consider and offering a 'no pressure' means of hanging out, being together and -finding out- give you each an opportunity to reassess where things stand and where you stand within them.

If you're uncomfortable with a straight out movie invite, then invite a trusted -involved- friend to come along to take the pressure off of both of you and provide a more 'social' setting.

Apart from that, I fear I have no sage advice to offer you, I'm sorry. I do hope it helped, at least somewhat and that you manage to conquer your fears regardless.

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