trisomy [2010-06-06 12:42:39 +0000 UTC]
Oh, no it's not. This was my favorite one, I think. I really want to read the stuff in between and what comes after this, if you've written any.
The only critiques I have were that there were some parts where the paragraphs repeat (I suppose because you've rewritten them?), and that can be easily fixed by proofreading. I'd also like to know more about how Seria and Luelon escaped. "People escaping from captivity" is a very suspenseful time in any writing, and it's more fun for the reader if they have a few "close calls" on their way out. Not so much if one minute they're in prison and the next on a dragon. XD
Anyway, really good. My favorite part by far.
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