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FaeOfDoom — just rip it out, why don't ya?
Published: 2011-05-12 15:18:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 338; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 2
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Description
*CLICK*-phone slammed on my heart.
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Comments: 12
I like the dash 'fore phone, gives it a more sudden feel, great job!
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HAHA! I like the irony of the situation (yes, I thought it was a love story at first glance; it's the title that sells it). It's a really good use of emotion and it works really draws the reader in and then your comments make the reader feel silly for being misled. Very good work overall!
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thank you! I really appreciate the comment <3
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Quite violent, I have to say. o.O
I like how that reflects the situation and the person's feelings and thoughts as well, especially with the additional "slammed" to really emphasise it more there.
The structure is great and I like how you've portrayed the concept to us...
It is typical of us to think it relates to love... Perhaps you could have a different title if you wanted it more directed, like.
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lol, I don't know if I want it more directed or not. I like it when different people can relate to the same idea, despite different circumstances...that's probably the songwriter in me talking. but there's something to be said about telling the story in detail, too, so people know exactly what you went through.
so yeah, I dunno, I'm kinda torn about whether or not to leave it vague.
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Ah, that's fair enough! I get what you mean.
It's up to you, really.
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Frankly, I liked the title more than the story. There's an undeniable feel in those words.
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yeah, I agree with you, the emotion is in the title. at the same time though, "rip it out, why don'tchya" isn't really a story, so using it as the story isn't really feasible. maybe there's something I could say differently to give the story emotion, though...
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Yeah, it's more of a dialog.
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Yes. The rejection or end of love or a relationship is pretty clear. Nicely done.
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