Comments: 6
Spriglief [2008-08-30 22:57:11 +0000 UTC]
Very good...
It could use a transition as you change from declarative to question narration. Personally, I would not have changed your poems vector. I would have rather you ended it something like this:
When the truth betrays me
I fall into the arms of lies.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
AkatsukiLesson [2008-08-04 17:07:48 +0000 UTC]
gosh i love your work.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1