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fellintofire — Unrequited Love?
Published: 2011-10-17 02:50:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 1287; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 3
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Description After a long day of dealing with customers, his staff, and of course the queen, Ciel was ready to relax. Unfortunately for him, his moment of relaxation came with a moment of realization.

The young earl sat on his bed contemplating what this new understanding meant.

It can't be. How can I possibly be in love with him. I'm not supposed to be able to feel love, especially not with the man...no thing, that will eventually take my soul. That and the fact he could never love me. God dammit.

After many months of wondering why he felt so strangely around Sebastian, Ciel finally come to understand what had happened...he was in love. The nervousness and happiness he felt every time Sebastian walked near him finally made some sense. He knew that the demon would not reciprocate his feelings, all he wanted from Ciel was his soul. However, this did not stop him from thinking about what it would be like to be finally loved though. It's not like I have anything to lose.

In the midst of his thoughts, Sebastian quietly entered the room, cup of Earl Grey tea in hand. He set them down next to his bocchan's bed before he spoke. "Your bedtime tea my lord."

Blue eyes stared up at the demon for a moment before he spoke, a shyness to his voice that had not been there previously. "Sebastian?" he asked before pausing to make sure that the butler was listening. "Yes, my lord."

Again, the room filled with a tense silence, Ciel unsure about his next words, but knowing he had to ask. "Will you kiss me, Sebastian?"

There was a childlike innocence in Ciel's voice that had not been present in all of the time that Sebastian had served Ciel, it had probably not been heard by anyone currently living. "Is that an order?"

Those were the words Ciel had dreaded hearing. He had hoped that maybe Sebastian would act out of his own free will, but it was not meant to be. "No. Get the hell out. NOW!"

With a kurt bow, the butler exited the room without another word. Although the action's of his bocchan were strange, he knew he could not question them.

After Sebastian left, Ciel sat on his bed the anger he had felt falling away. Of course he turned me down, I should not have expected anything more. I am nothing to him. I am not worth anything more than a meal to him. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, it's not like anyone cares for me anymore. Why should he be any different.

Once his teacup was emptied and set back onto the bedside table, Ciel stood from where he laid and walked over to the bathroom that could only be entered through the master bedroom. Deciding that he really had nothing to live for and that revenge was not as sweet as he had thought, the young boy filled the tub with water. As he watched the water fall from the faucet into the porcelain tub, he thought about all of the people he would get to see again, his parents and his aunt being the most important. Death did not seem something to fear, rather he welcomed the peace that would come with no longer having to worry about revenge or being unloved.

Finally the tub was full and so Ciel undressed slowly, looking around at all the things he would never see again. He thought about all the things he would never get to do, the people he would never see. But none of that mattered, in that moment, unless he could gain Sebastian's love, nothing else mattered.

He dipped his feet into the warm water before fully immersing himself. This seems like the most pleasant way to leave this earth. He thought before he dipped his head into the warmth and closed his eyes.

When he finally awakened, he was cocooned in a warm blanket, surrounded by pillows. It did not seem like the way he had envisioned the afterlife.

"Bocchan, it seems you are awake."

That voice...it's so familiar.

As his vision became clearer, the young earl looked up at a dark haired man that looked strangely like...

"I made you some tea, I think you should have at least a taste. It will help you become more lucid."

The more the strange man spoke, the more Ciel was convinced that it was him, it was Sebastian. "Seb...Sebastian? What are you doing here?"

"Why, I am here to serve you, of course. Now, would you like to explain to me why I had to save you from drowning in your own bathtub." The man inquired with, was that concern in his voice?

It took Ciel a moment to realize that he was, in fact, alive and he now had to explain why he had tried to take his own life. "I..." he contemplated how to phrase his response, but then realized that Sebastian would see through his lies anyway. "I no longer wanted to live." The words then began to spill from Ciel, "when you...you rejected me!" a tinge of anger and sadness filled his voice. "I asked you to kiss me and you didn't! I didn't want you to wait for an order, I wanted you to do it because you wanted to."

For the first time since his parents had died in the horrific fire, Ciel broke down and began to cry. "I just want someone to love me. And when I finally realized...when I realized that I loved you, I thought that maybe you could love me back despite the fact that you are just a demon. I knew that my expectations were too high, but I asked you anyway. And after you rejected me, I realized I really have nothing to live for. Revenge seems trivial now that I know and understand what true love is." He paused to collect his thoughts before continuing. "So I decided that I would kill myself. It isn't as if someone would care if I was not, especially not you."

Ciel then broke down crying, tears streaming down his face faster than he could wipe them away. All of the sadness and anger that he had kept inside was now spilling forth. "I just want you to love me." he whimpered before laying down on the bed, not wanting to face Sebastian's reaction.

"Bocchan." Sebastian said as he gently caressed his master's shoulders. "Please, look at me."

After a short while, Ciel turned to face Sebastian, his face red and covered in tears. "Bocchan, I did not think it was my place to tell you this, however, now I think it is the right time." The boy sat up and looked into Sebastian's red eyes. "I love you."
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Comments: 20

Shinwa-Tsuki [2014-06-07 04:28:07 +0000 UTC]

Very nice!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheEpicFanGirl [2011-12-13 23:24:08 +0000 UTC]

OMG I just fell in love and cried a bit... This is an amazing story!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fellintofire In reply to TheEpicFanGirl [2011-12-13 23:46:26 +0000 UTC]

Aww, thanks!! Glad you liked it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Blue-Demon-Hybrid [2011-11-09 04:39:48 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fellintofire In reply to Blue-Demon-Hybrid [2011-11-09 04:49:21 +0000 UTC]

Glad you liked it!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

VavieV [2011-10-26 21:10:37 +0000 UTC]

Is there more?


Oh and by the way Green eyes?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fellintofire In reply to VavieV [2011-10-26 21:30:03 +0000 UTC]

Oh, typo. Woops! Glad you caught that. No more to this story, not sure where it would go after that lol.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VavieV In reply to fellintofire [2011-10-26 21:36:16 +0000 UTC]

Aw.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sinatheart [2011-10-25 14:41:24 +0000 UTC]

♥ ♥ ♥ ! This is my favorite fanfiction ever. Congratulations, you are amazing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fellintofire In reply to sinatheart [2011-10-25 20:38:35 +0000 UTC]

Aww, yay!!! Glad you liked it!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sinatheart In reply to fellintofire [2011-10-25 23:28:28 +0000 UTC]

^-^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

EmMe1703 [2011-10-19 21:14:15 +0000 UTC]

It was just beautiful !!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fellintofire In reply to EmMe1703 [2011-10-19 22:59:51 +0000 UTC]

aww, thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Dreamy-Rainbows [2011-10-19 06:13:03 +0000 UTC]

OH MY GOD, SOMETHING SERIOUS FOR ONCE. xD
But really. This was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. To be honest, I kept spazzing out. For example: "OH MY GOD, SEBBY. WHY YOU DO THAAAAAATTTTT? YOU KILLED POOR CIEL'S LITTLE HEARTTTTT."
I was expecting more comedy, but you have truly proven you can do many more genres of writing! Bravo! C:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fellintofire In reply to Dreamy-Rainbows [2011-10-19 15:32:16 +0000 UTC]

Aww, thank you! When I started writing I felt more comfortable and thought I did better at writing humor, but maybe I'll write more serious fic. Glad you liked it!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

pitchperfect [2011-10-17 16:55:16 +0000 UTC]

My heart...you just broke it! This turned out really well; you managed to turn the angst around at just the right time and then it because so sweet. Excellent writing, as always ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fellintofire In reply to pitchperfect [2011-10-17 21:56:46 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!! I'll definitely have to write a humorous fic next though. lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pitchperfect In reply to fellintofire [2011-10-17 22:59:28 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, yes definitely! Take a step back from angst zone and write some quality WTF!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fellintofire In reply to pitchperfect [2011-10-17 23:16:10 +0000 UTC]

I might need your help though. I feel like most of my quality wtf comes from our conversations.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pitchperfect In reply to fellintofire [2011-10-17 23:17:16 +0000 UTC]

Lol, well I am always willing to lend a hand in those matters!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0