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FikryFadhillah β GLIMPSE - PART I : MINE (Animation)
Published: 2015-05-16 11:24:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 5762; Favourites: 325; Downloads: 0
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Have you ever dreamt living a life together with a complete stranger?The link is below! Please enjoy and wait for the next part!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWXu7Cβ¦
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Comments: 228
A fine animation! I'll need to wait and let this digest before I watch the other one in your collection. It was a lot to take in!
This has a unique style. The simple character designs and the use of soft lighting is easy on the eyes. There are times, I would note, that these simple characters clash with the picturesque backdrops, but you clearly worked hard to make them seem at home in their surroundings, with great results!
Of course, this is a story we've all seen before in romance. The main character is too shy to approach the object of his affections, but once he does open up, the chemistry is instantaneous. The story goes exactly where you expect it to go, in exactly the way you expect to go, but this is setting up a sequel that may yet leave the cliche behind, so I'm hopeful.
Your use of pauses, I think, help lift the familiar story up. They really drive the emotions you're conveying home, though by contrast, I can't help but feel the third act was a bit rushed. As a writer, I know I would falter too if I was asked to cram the entire scope of a romance into a chapter of only 4,000 words or so. That said, this story was handled superbly well considering the compression. Again, I have to recognize that this may well be merely the first installment in a much larger narrative. Looking at it as an introduction, then, it does it's job very well.
Returning to the emotional presence you were able to create, it is undeniably resonant. The music and the timing, and to some degree the dialogue mesh well across the soft palette of the world. Even though I could see the ending coming, I was genuinely rooting for these two and their performance was never betrayed by the medium. I would say these two could have used a touch moire personality (my point about dialogue), but I also understand that they don't require dimension for this story to function.
All in all, what you've made here is beautiful, engaging, and communicates exactly what is should from beginning to end. I've been picking out its flaws for the purposes of critique, but know that this does not mean it is mediocre. It is a fabulous work and it lays a sturdy groundwork for following chapters.
You should be proud of what you have made, and if this is to be considered your early work, I can't wait to see where you'll be creating in the future!
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I think there's a lack of motion and change in the film, it would've been better if you had put more effort in letting the characters move more, for example: letting them breathe,..
The storyline wasn't too bad at all, it's really cute and it has this oldschool-romantic feeling about it. I do think, that this kind of story doesn't completely fit a shortfilm the way you represented it here. This kind of story needs a longer build-up, so the audience feels and understands the characters better.
It was still a pretty good shortfilm, so don't be put off by my harsh critique <3
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Re-bonjour.
J'ai regardΓ© ta galerie et je suis donc tombΓ© sur ce merveilleux petit morceau de vidΓ©o.
La lumière et l'ambiance, en général l'identité de ta vidéo est suffisamment prononcée pour la distinguer d'autres projets, je trouve ça bien. Qui plus est le tout est doux, simple, les choses et les personnages sont traités avec simplicité et je pense que c'est une excellente manière de procéder.
La lenteur du déroulement de l'intrigue incite forcément à faire attention au détails (notamment à l'ambiance ou au texte) et du coup d'une vidéo sur un thème vu et revu tu passe à une vidéo touchante, qui me touche malgré l'aspect cliché.
En revanche la lenteur est aussi un aspect qui me dΓ©range. Comme Γ§a ne dure que 5 minutes, ce n'est pas gΓͺnant, et Γ§a a aussi des avantages comme dΓ©crits plus haut.
Enfin, je pense que tu dois Γͺtre assez prisonnier de la technique, non ? Le bon cotΓ© c'est que Γ§a donne un style Γ ton histoire, un minimalisme touchant et puis en dΓ©veloppant ton style Γ partir d'Γ©lΓ©ments techniques aussi simples, tu vas forcΓ©ment dans une nouvelle direction qui va te permettre de dΓ©couvrir de nouvelles choses. Mais le mauvais cotΓ© est qu'on sent bien que tu dois beaucoup jouer des Γ©motions faciales pour Γ©voquer quelque chose.
Tu as bien fais de palier Γ ce manque en changeant la mise en scΓ¨ne quand les deux personnages se rapprochent (fΓͺte foraine, coucher de soleil, etc...)
Je suis aussi conscient que tu n'as pas des millions d'euros pour dΓ©velopper un projet. Mais, purement subjectivement,je pense que c'est sans trop de moyen qu'on finit par faire des choses qui ont plus de personnalitΓ©.
En conclusion, et en lien avec cet aspect personnel, je suis touchΓ© par la poΓ©sie de ta vidΓ©o, j'adore la naΓ―vetΓ© peut-Γͺtre, mais en tout cas la sensibilitΓ© de cette oeuvre, l'atmosphΓ¨re chaleureuse et douce.
Super projet, beau travail.
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Hai! Okay so Let me just put it out there, IT WAS FREAKING ADORABLE! I loved the little chibi style! It was a good choice you picked! The reason I picked 1.5 star for originality was because I've seen the same type of thing a lot of times. And that's kind of a problem... But it was great otherwise! Continue with the great work!
Side Note: The quality of the video was great, the effects made me feel like it had that dreamish feeling ( which is good ) and the music + sound fx were put in the right position of every clip! Bravo!
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Well, this was amazing! I loved their face expressions, loved everything! But, there is only 2 things that bother me.
1. I didn't really like the blinking of the eyes. It just looked like the eyes would fade sometimes.
2. When they were at the movie place, it didn't look like they were sitting in a chair. It looked like they were standing.
Over all, this was wonderful. I would love to see the next part of it! Also, it was at a great stopping point, again, makes me want to see the next part the show thing. Just, wonderful.
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Simple animation can hold powerful meaning. This is a pure example of that.
Music- Like the animation, the music was simple, but brought all of the necessary emotion to the plate. It had a nice airy, acoustic feel to it, and at the beginning it kind of had a Paris/love feel.
In all, very wonderful job! Animation was good, music was good, and the story was wonderful. Good work!
(I liked how they blinked, the scenery, and just the whole idea of meeting a stranger and ending up married to them. But, I think it was all in his head..... e.deviantart.net/emoticons/let⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
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thank you, I appreciate that!
we'll see about that, make sure to watch the next part
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I just watched this and overall I enjoyed it! I felt the lighting, especially in the beginning. the expressions that both characters had for certain scenes were really nice. I would also like to take a moment to appreciate Bima's work on the soundtrack. The music never got on my nerves and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Some things I would say to fix are text locations because they became pretty hard to read depending on where they were placed. Also and you are probably already working on this but in some of the dialogue and overall sentences there are grammatical issues. As a whole I really liked the style you went with. Keep it up!
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thank you!
Oh yea, I also think we got some issues with the texts, we'll do better next time
thank again, I appreciate it!
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Okay man, this is my first Critique, so dont take this too hard .3.
THE VIDEO: Man, that was nice. Even if it may be another in the ocean, its a new story to see. But I think it was a little too fast, but I know you probably dont have enough time, since you might be a busy man and all, so just Keep it up!! Good stuff is coming your way!
BONUS: Dont bring apon us a Divorce. I beg of you. Just dont do that to us.
That was hard to type, and Thank you very much e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
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Critiques can be harsh, it just depends on how people do it, if you were like "this is ugly and shit, and you need to go die" that's basically just hate, you just pointed out some bad things, not all but some - sure some critiques could be harsh but they just help us grow.
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...Ill take that as a "Better work on your Critiquing, buddy"
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hue, I don't mean it as, be more harsh, just be more honest ovo
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hey thanks man, I appreciate it! Β
I see, that's true it may be a little too fast
Oh we'll see about that in the next part! Β
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Thanks, I thought I was too harsh! XD
I can't wait, man!
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WoahΒ Β You have done it very well reallyΒ Β Β
Β
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It started off so sweet, but-'to be continued'? What does that mean? It sounds so ominous!
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thank you
I will continue it when I have time
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simple sweet and delightful...the animation was well done and the music score was good and matched the storyline nicely...bravo I really enjoyed it...keep up the good work
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thank you very much!
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at first glance, it looks like Paperman from Disney...i thought the story would be same but, hmm...this one look more sweet-shy romantic Β
and the music! was it KRONCONG??Β Β
good start btw Β
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Beautiful video, I really enjoyed. You've got such an adorable drawing style
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i really loved this! Β the characters were very cute, and the story is so wonderful. Β I just hope that nothing bad happens to either one of them, but I have a feeling that something will
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FikryFadhillah, I just made you another. It's called Ichigo Momomiya and Renji Abarai.
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Excellent video, FikhyFadhillah! And with a superb musical accompaniment to match and carry the beautiful story through. Β I enjoyed it immensely and I hope you and your staff continue to make videos like this. Β
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This looks so serene, bright and designed with great finesse. And thanks for the fave.
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I thought this was very cute! I wonder what the rest will be...
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It's cute; nice filters, backgrounds and soundtrackβ although I'm not keen on the blinking animations and there are some translation errors.
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youΒ areΒ welcomeΒ
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Heeeey ! AttirΓ©e ici par le +fav', j'ai regardΓ© la galerie et puis ... Ho diantre ! Super crΓ©ations etout ! J'adore ! Bonne continuation pour la suite !
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makasih ya hehehe
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