Description
We got a new addition to our squadron last week, fresh from the ATP and ready to go. The first couple of days were spent getting him introduced to the rest of the crew and briefing him on some basic tactics. Our first orientation flight went well, and he showed some promise, which he confirmed today.
Scooter downed his first two aircraft on this last sortie. I had to help him out with the last one, but that's what wingmen are for right?
I was surprised by his competence. He's a kid, like me, though he won't tell us his age, which pretty much confirms my suspicions that he's under drafting age. I'm conflicted about this. Sally hand picked me for this job because she knew I could do it. Over the years I have garnered a bit of a reputation for putting myself in danger in the pilot's seat... The brass overlooked my age, mostly because they were ordered to, but they were still hesitant to put me into any action.
But I proved myself to them.
Scooter is in a similar situation, the only problem is, I'm responsible for him. That's something I wasn't prepared for... I don't think I'm ready to be a mentor just yet. It feels like a promotion I didn't want...
He's a good kid. Lots of enthusiasm. I hope he doesn't lose that the same way I did. He lightens things up around the hangar. I talked to Piper and she agrees he'll make a great addition to the team.
I don't doubt that.
I guess I just doubt my ability to bring him home. Every time.
I haven't failed so far. But the nagging feeling is there. It will happen, and I have to be ready. I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not perfect. But this job demands that I be better than perfect. It's how we survive up there.
Maybe that's just the paranoia talking. But it's in my gut. I don't like that. It's hard to tell which feelings are credible these days.
Maybe this is how the rest of the squad felt about me when I first joined... It's different when I'm under the command of senior flyers, but now that I've moved up my whole perspective has changed.
I'm sure Dad knows a thing or two about this. I should talk to him. Hopefully he can console me enough to bring my thoughts back to reality.
But if something happens... It's on me.
I want time to stop. I don't know if I could lose another friend. Sonic... Cosmo... My heart is already weighed down enough, but fate drags another to me...
Leadership is different here at home. I really can't fail anyone else.
For now, I suppose I should congratulate our newest member. Two kills in a day is no small achievement. If we continue to shoot as straight as he did today, we ought to be just fine.