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~Slumber~

Surrounded by walls,
My cage is defined.
They reach to the heavens,
Inside I'm confined.
Trapped like a rodent,
No, rats are smarter than this.
How did i fall for such things,
How did I screw up my only wish.
Unable to concede,
To give in to defeat,
A forgotten node,
A bitter embargo.
So much I could have done.
To ensure that I had won.
Now I'm stuck in a pit,
And my mind is in a fit.
Tossing strategy and thought,
Logic and Reason,
Reason and rationale.
Out the window, for the world to behold.
No one cared enough, I'm told.
I hear voices, discern their phrases,
Generate the connotations,
And obliterate the context.
How did it happen?
How can no one tell?
Like a nightmare I can't scream.
Hey Listen! Hey Listen!
No one does,
No one can.
My voice has deserted me again.
In my moment of need.
My time of regret.
Abandoned, no forsaken,
My mobility was taken.
He fell, He was pushed.
No he was shot, or stabbed.
They can't agree on how it happened,
But they can't see that I'm right here.
Reaching out to their arms.
Only they are not outstretched.
Their eyes can't see me,
What my heart wants them to witness.
I'm still alive god dammit.
But in a hole I've been thrown.
Who decided it was my time to go?
Who contended to let me go?
Did no one fight to set me free?
Or is this the cage where I'm meant to be?
I can breathe! The air is chilled.
Winter must be here as,
The snow begins to fall.
I'm still in my hole, writhing.
Trying to reach out,
Really striving.
But everyone has come and gone,
Visited, Remembered,
But now I'm deserted, forgotten.
The flowers have wilted,
I left only one, jilted.
My lover, I love her.
She visits everyday.
Discerning, concerning,
She lingers less each day.
I can hear her confirm,
She's moving on with her life.
My soul can't take it.
She was my wife!
The last thing I felt tied to.
She's letting go of the chain she holds.
This life of hers is getting old.
I couldn't ask her to keep holding on.
She had to let me go,
So I could let go.
Witness the guarenteed peace sublime.
It really blows my mind.
But a problem remains,
Things are unchanged.
I'm still in my cell.
A prison in my mind.
Six walls ever enclosing,
My world has tumbled in.
A dark dreary dismal feeling,
It's keeping my body reeling.
What a wonderful delight,
This notion of everything's alright.
I'm losing the fight.
What's left in this life?
I've already lost my wife.
All I have is my strife.
Hardship and alone,
Devoted, sins to atone.
Left to my own devices.
I'd skim the curtails,
Ride the coatails,
Bobtails, and broomsticks.
Sickening vomitting fits,
Something decays.
My body in disarray,
What is this dismay?
Why is everything gray?
Shades of color,
Shades of meaning,
Can someone just end me please?
I can't escape this tattered hell.
My body is broken.
I can't yell.
I can't yell.
I CAN'T yell.
I CAN'T YELL.
I CAN'T SCREAM.
I CAN'T EVEN SCREAM!!!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
No one heard,
No one came.
No one.
Not one.
Not a bleep on the machine.
The reaper is near.
Beackoning on my door.
The rattling of his scythe.
Tapping, rapping, on the door.
What a horror.
What a terror.
He won't leave,
He can't.
He listens.
He can hear.
I'm losing my strength,
We conversate at length.
Discuss such things.
You wouldn't believe,
What he's seen.
What he's done.
A curse of his cannot be won.
When he comes for you, there can be no bargain.
He will reap your soul.
He is no fool.
But his own unrest.
Can be my chance, the best.
One last release,
One last reprieve.
Death, Grim, I don't want to die.
But its just as well,
I may as well.
There's nothing left for me here.
Not any more, not at least.
When you're on Death's bed,
Believed to be deceased.
Not what I believe.
As I lay here in the prison of my mind,
Lurking shadows despair I find.
Why should I fight?
I was abandoned by my light.
What more can I say?
Whats left for me today?
But even Death needs a friend.
One more lost soul I can mend.
I have my spiritual hand to lend.
So I talk to the harbringer of doom.
It alleviates my gloom.
But is this all a trick of his?
An empathic sponge?
Will he get me the moment I am vulnerable?
An untolerable scenario,
To outwit Death...
Catch him unguarded,
To bring and end, to the bringer of ends.
Something of a sin to command.
Shoot him down, like the world shot me.
I'll challenge him to a game.
Cleverly concocted.
Devillishly designed,
He can't see what I have in mind.
Has anyone ever been his friend?
Has anyone tried to care?
This is my wager. This is the game.
Take him in,
Break his walls,
It's time to begin.
Prepare for this fight.
Maybe I can win,
Maybe I can steal his light.
Feel a life renewed,
I want my happiness.
It's high time, It's due.
Precious and wavering, my courage bounds.
I'm going to challenge life itself.
Bet against the odds.
My life at risk,
What little meager existence is left.
I'll be alone, but I'll be noticed.
Rather than contend,
To live as one on the mend.
Life, in remission.
Stoically, Dynamic decision.
Voices all around evoke my desire.
I'm not ready to expire.
They can be nice,
Or they can be mean.
But I listen to them.
But I don't do what they say.
Suspended belief,
Deterred relief.
Preferrentially realigned,
Essentially refined.
Sophistication of a class,
Born into a gentle flair.
Reaper won't you come?
Or are you running scared.
So I can catch you unaware.
In this my greatest fall,
You've taken everything,
You've taken my all.
So for one last daring attempt.
I'll steal your scythe and,
Watch as you fall.
Your power will be mine,
In the end of it all,
I will rise up,
To start your eternal fall.
Enjoy hell,
That's where you're going.
I'm climbing out,
I'll let you in on my knowing,
A game plan has been set in place.
A Xanatos gambit would be a safe bet,
But why would I play it safe?
I'm going for it all.
Nothing will stop me, nothing at all.
I have no regret.
As the tide begins to turn,
Deaths burden begins to yearn,
Calling me to take it on.
Calling me to be its master.
A disturbed realism,
Questions, for which I have no answer.
Why would I need to ruin this spectre?
If I condemn him to fry in hell,
It makes me no better than him.
But morals aside,
I can't hide.
The is I'm not ready to die.
I'm failing fast.
The years have passed,
More then a decade has gone by,
Since the world of mine lost its pride.
She hasn't visited in half that time.
The light of mine, stopped its shine.
My body waning,
Time is fading.
I am fading.
Fading away.
My mind wanders,
To the end of its rope.
He'll never come back.
He'll never wake up.
We should pull the plug.
But thoughts such as these,
Are my one disease.
They awaken my heart,
My patterns change, words are exchanged.
They call it a fluke,
But stand rebuked.
They can't refute it.
I'm not entirely muted.
It's a signal. I'm still here.
But they don't tell my dear.
Something she'll never hear.
She may have moved on.
But I still hang on.
I'm trying to regain my peace of mind,
Awaken my sleeping body.
Before it's too broken to claim.
Why can't I get it working?
I know what its like to move these limbs.
But I can't feel them.
I feel so disassociated.
Lost in my own body.
A personal prison,
Caged in my mind.
Battling the passage of shattered time.
Darkness starts to fade,
As morning breaks the night.
Restlessly tossing and turning.
A boy keeps slumbering.
Dreaming a world of a man.
One he cannot face.
One who is I am.
He exists as a separate identity,
An entity entombed.
Trapped in the head of some one unprepared.
A tormented youth who cannot be.
A devastated man who wants to be free.
Which is the dream, who do you see?
No balance can be sought,
While the fight meanders on.
Someone has to sing,
There sordid love song.
It's an affair across time.
Between the boy, who is the past.
And the man, who is the future.
One in the same,
Their mind inter-twained.
They know less of what they seek.
Neither knowing to what extent their future is bleak.
Fighting the wear,
Preventing the tear,
No one should be alone.
But if one lets go,
The other will fade.
A tumultous bond,
Parasitistic, and sadistic.
They feed each others pain.
They stake one anothers claim.
But the state they're in, whose to blame?
When one of them lost the game.
A future is narrow, yet unrestrained.
Locked in place but estranged.
Uncertain contraptions, of things unresolved.
Lies are woven, a tainted tapestry.
Thin as silk but often strong.
Interleaved, complexity in weave.
They shelter eacho other from the truth.
A simple soul stands divided.
Lost in the folds of time.
Stay in the past? Or live for the future.
A bond older then both of them.
Their singular soul,
Has always been entwined.
Wrapped in another,
Wholly confined.
With every iteration of its life,
Another mortal ends its life.
Dark and divided the souls fight for supremacy.
A constant burden to all who seek their light.
But one man fights so the other can live,
And the boy gives him his light.
The boy didn't know when he was born that day,
That he would forever be tainted.
He lived a gentle life,
Never making much of a fuss.
He had his terrible twos,
And his adolescent fits.
But he never wavered,
From being pure of heart.
And one day he went to sleep,
And it just wouldn't start.
They found him dead at half past nine.
The lowly mother cried.
Her baby was gone and nothing remained.
But he was with a man intertwained.
The day came, when the man awoke.
The hospital staff thought it was a joke.
When they heard him cough and come to life.
They hurriedly alerted his trembling wife.
She ventured so far,
To be by his side.
And when she saw him,
She said he died.
Their son was in fits.
Tossing and turning.
But it wouldn't save him,
She just kept yearning.
The father then spoke,
As he began to whisper,
That their son lives on,
And then he kissed her.
In another world,
That begets the passage of time,
It was not the boy,
But the father who died.
Leaving behind,
A miracle in face.
He gave his only son,
The last of his grace.
When the boy finally woke,
He said to his mom,
The soul of his father,
Would grieve and move on.
He wouldn't want you,
To fear the unknown.
He wants you to know,
His love continues on.
He's sorry for this,
To leave just a kiss,
But his boy is by far,
His greatest joy so far.
So when you love for this boy,
You love for my soul,
So I give you my joy.
And hope you grow old.
Keep him safe,
Protect his life.
I love you my dear.
And I'll miss you my wife.
She shed only one tear,
That day for the dead.
One for her boy,
And the man she had wed.
She grew strong for his grace.
And they left without a trace.
As the story unfolds,
The tale stays the same.
A man must choose,
His son, or his dame.
But let it not be misread,
She loved him for his choice,
As she kissed her boy's head.
But she would never love again,
She would honor her man,
Again and again.
She would raise their boy,
To know right from wrong,
So when he grew up,
He would sing his fathers song.
Which you follow,
The goal is the same,
Neither could live,
With the others name.
As the souls fought and divided.
A familiar bond grew.
And one day the father,
Knew what he had to do.
He finally moved on,
To give his son his light.
He had to be sure he was right.
In giving his life.
He lossed his wife.
But in the end,
He had one message to send.
Be true to yourself,
So others can see.
That though you live in darkness,
You can shine brilliantly.
Love your family, as you love yourself.
And you will never be by yourself.