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Description
Lee Kanker

• commander and the leader
• 'Papa John is the only father I need'
• 'and for my next trick, ladies and gentlemen, I shall pull mom out of rehab !'
• 'remember when I used to sexually harass you and your friends, yeah that was awkward lol'
• a greek chorus shouts 'behold !' each time she walks into a room
• part-time responsible authority figure
• 'life is hard but it's always better than middle school'
• Eddy is best frenemy until death
• the only joy she gets is watching shows about murder
• already knew how it felt to be a single mom at age 13

Marie Kanker

• 'I'm not making the rules around here, hate the game not the players fam'
• still not over her crush for Edd (no one blames her tbh)
• the one who moves the planchette during ouija sessions and pretends she's not doing anything, 'omg you guys it's totes a ghost!!!'
• the only one officially allowed to pick on May, like 'mess with Ratatouille, you get stabatouille'
• will survive anything
• wants cash and a boyfriend, needs Jesus and a father
• 'if u're sad, jump off a bridge but stop whining jfc'
• is stuck in the timeline god abandoned
• 'is my black shirt black enough ?'
• 'things didn't use to be better, remember the Backstreet Boys ?'

May Kanker

• makes sure her sisters eat three meals a day
• 'don't treat me like an idiot just because I'm stupid!'
• probably the only one who isn't going straight to hell
• hopeless romantic
• [two days being on a diet] 'My body is a temple'
• half girl, half bunny, half ravioli
• deserves a happy ending tbt
• good singing voice, good dancing moves, will probably make career in musicals
• 'I wish I had a normal childhood with curfews and justified beatings'
• the kind of fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you all night long

Description
Lee Kanker

• commander and the leader
• 'Papa John is the only father I need'
• 'and for my next trick, ladies and gentlemen, I shall pull mom out of rehab !'
• 'remember when I used to sexually harass you and your friends, yeah that was awkward lol'
• a greek chorus shouts 'behold !' each time she walks into a room
• part-time responsible authority figure
• 'life is hard but it's always better than middle school'
• Eddy is best frenemy until death
• the only joy she gets is watching shows about murder
• already knew how it felt to be a single mom at age 13

Marie Kanker

• 'I'm not making the rules around here, hate the game not the players fam'
• still not over her crush for Edd (no one blames her tbh)
• the one who moves the planchette during ouija sessions and pretends she's not doing anything, 'omg you guys it's totes a ghost!!!'
• the only one officially allowed to pick on May, like 'mess with Ratatouille, you get stabatouille'
• will survive anything
• wants cash and a boyfriend, needs Jesus and a father
• 'if u're sad, jump off a bridge but stop whining jfc'
• is stuck in the timeline god abandoned
• 'is my black shirt black enough ?'
• 'things didn't use to be better, remember the Backstreet Boys ?'

May Kanker

• makes sure her sisters eat three meals a day
• 'don't treat me like an idiot just because I'm stupid!'
• probably the only one who isn't going straight to hell
• hopeless romantic
• [two days being on a diet] 'My body is a temple'
• half girl, half bunny, half ravioli
• deserves a happy ending tbt
• good singing voice, good dancing moves, will probably make career in musicals
• 'I wish I had a normal childhood with curfews and justified beatings'
• the kind of fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you all night long