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grumpyunicorn — Hungry
Published: 2014-03-11 02:43:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 297; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 0
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Description
They're hungry.They're screaming,
And really there's no meaning.
They're biting.
They're scratching.
Their forces are attacking.
They're winning.
They're gaining.
Not much of me remaining.
They're cheering.
I'm dying.
I'll show no sign of crying.
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Comments: 12
Very emotional and serious. I'm not sure what your faith is, but I believe that unexplained evil and destruction to other people's emotions are definitely fought on some spiritual level. It's hard, because sometimes when it's domesticated abuse, like in a friend's family, I feel useless because all I can do is pray for them. But prayer makes a difference on all levels--domestic or not.
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I believe prayer is incredibly important and helpful. I mean, sometimes the only thing you can do for someone is pray for them. Thank you for your input. And if you ever need a prayer, just let me know.
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Wow this almost made me cry. This is what's happening at school right now to me. It's like ravenous wolves that will never be satisfied until you are torn to pieces.
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I understand where you're at. I'm sorry that's happening. If you need someone to talk to, I'm right here!
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You're absolutely welcome
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Nice! Unlike LunarNightmare, I think the word And was necessary. Gives the poem a certain rhythm. It's just an opinion though.
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I don't recall if I said this (my memory is absolutely horrendous,) but I have been at war with myself over that word. I don't know what to do with it. Thanks
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"They're screaming,
And really there's no meaning."
And shouldn't be capitalized because its not the start of a sentence, I understand this often doesn't matter in poetry stanzas but if I could make a suggestion say
"They're screaming.
It has no meaning."
Making the stanza its own sentence and avoiding the problem, just a thought.
This is a great piece and its true with alot of meaning great job
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Thank you for your input. And thanks
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