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harrimaniac27 — Business as Usual?

Published: 2011-07-18 02:33:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 1910; Favourites: 21; Downloads: 5
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Description Standing at a safe distance, Smithers concentrated a little too intently on the Double-Windsor knot he was tying. He could feel Mr. Burns' eyes burning holes into his forehead. Not wanting to face that look, he kept his eyes on the black tie in his hands.
His hands were shaking; anyone's would be under burns' intimidating stare, but that wasn't the only thing that had Smithers nervous.
His shaking hands fumbled with the tie a little as a sentence formulated in his mind.
So I suppose this is it?
Smithers couldn't bear to put air to those words. He swallowed hard, keeping his eyes on the knot he had now had to retie twice. He was surprised that Burns hadn't said anything yet; hadn't yelled at him...hadn't complained about how slow he was being with the tie...anything would do...Anything to break the deafening silence...
But Burns simply glared.
Smithers wanted to look up, but he couldn't face those eyes.
"So...I suppose..." He began. He swallowed hard again, not wanting to finish the sentence. He finally finished with the knot and let the tie slip from his fingers. "I suppose it's...back to...business as usual?" He said hopefully, finally gaining the courage to look into those burning eyes. He willed himself not to look away, to take them in full force.
Burns' glare never wavered.
"I...suppose...so." He said, an ominous tone permeating his words.

So I was thinking about writing a fan fiction about these two.....What do you think about this scene? Think I should run with it?



The Simpsons, Waylon Smithers Jr, Mr. Burns (c) Matt Groening and FOX
Crappy Colouring Job and fanfic scene (c) me
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Comments: 55

harrimaniac27 In reply to ??? [2011-07-26 02:38:27 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! and...Thank you! XDD What'd you like most about the writing?

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Ksterstone In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-26 02:42:13 +0000 UTC]

I loved when Smithers finally got the tie right and asked him "I suppose it's...back to...business as usual?" <3 VERY Nice.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to Ksterstone [2011-07-26 02:57:48 +0000 UTC]

XDD Thanks! That was a favourite part of mine, too. XD

If you liked that, you may like my fan fic that I'm starting. I'm still on chapter one, but I'll work on it tonight...[link] X3

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Ksterstone In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-26 03:33:45 +0000 UTC]

I shall read it!

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harrimaniac27 In reply to Ksterstone [2011-07-26 03:35:54 +0000 UTC]

WOOHOO

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AndyMagnuseth [2011-07-19 23:23:30 +0000 UTC]

yes.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to AndyMagnuseth [2011-07-20 00:24:15 +0000 UTC]

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RosalindeDreams [2011-07-18 15:03:30 +0000 UTC]

HELL YES!! Do it!!

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harrimaniac27 In reply to RosalindeDreams [2011-07-18 19:00:28 +0000 UTC]

LOL I definitely am! XD

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RosalindeDreams In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-18 21:04:04 +0000 UTC]

Yay!

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ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-18 13:29:11 +0000 UTC]

You can most definately count me as a supporter for oncoming fanfics of yours m'dear
Truthfully, I am very much impressed by your writing skills and, admittedly, I think you have a better knack for it than me, lol. ^_^

Oh and I like the statue-esque stance of Burns in this picture - really adds detail to the storyline nicely.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-18 19:02:17 +0000 UTC]

Yay! I will be writing that fanficion immediately. XD
What?! You're a very talented writer!! Besides, You can write Burns' character ten thousand times better than I can. XD
But thanks for being impressed.

Thanks!

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-18 22:04:45 +0000 UTC]

Haha no problem, you've done what I feel is a lot for my self-esteem, so this is the least I can do as a repayment.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-18 22:19:30 +0000 UTC]

Well, I'm glad I can be of help! And you needn't "repay" me...Anything I can give you is yours. XD

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-18 22:51:35 +0000 UTC]

Aww trust me, I'm just grateful for your frienship and support, especially at a time when I've just become friend-less xD
I hardly want you to feel like I'm a tad of a moocher though, it's one in my catalouge of fears to know that I'm being a moocher.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-19 02:12:50 +0000 UTC]

aww...well, you are friendless no longer!
I don't see you being a moocher! What do you mean? Mooching what?

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-19 22:33:25 +0000 UTC]

I don't know... mooching friendship from a great hearted individual I guess...
There was a time when I did sort of take the people in my life for granted. So I guess I'm just a bit fearful of returning to that, but it won't happen again I'm certain.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-19 22:39:57 +0000 UTC]

Hey, as long as I've got a great heart and friendship to give, you take as much as you want! It's not mooching if you're returning the friendship.

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-19 23:02:51 +0000 UTC]

Aww that's sweet

Thank you ever so, that's great reasurance to hear - especially from you also ^_^

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-19 23:39:06 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad I could give you as much.
I just want you to know that you've become one of my dearest friends in these short couple of days, and that means I will give you anything I can, and I will always try to be there for you whenever I can.

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-19 23:43:29 +0000 UTC]

And I shall try to do the same at all times. I just wish I can give as much to you as you can to me.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-19 23:51:53 +0000 UTC]

That's very good of you to say! I can tell our friendship is going to be very rewarding for the both of us. XD

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-19 23:57:55 +0000 UTC]

Of course, I'm certain it will be. Hey, if you ever need a favour just call on me and I'll do my utmost whatever the reason ^_^

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-20 00:02:21 +0000 UTC]

Chipper! And the same goes for you: I'll be right by your side if you need anything at all.

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-20 00:11:51 +0000 UTC]

Couldn't ask for it better any other way ^_^
Kudos

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-20 00:23:42 +0000 UTC]

LOL too...XDD
And nor could I! Kudos to you!

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-20 23:18:55 +0000 UTC]

Thanking you!

And I hope you will not mind me asking; how do you think my dA ID looks? (As in; how do I look> )

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-20 23:53:37 +0000 UTC]

You're welcomeee!!! Thanking you backk!! XD

I don't mind at all! (I went and commented on you ID moments ago, actually...you are gorgeous.)

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-21 00:06:01 +0000 UTC]

Well let us say that that shall be me at my best, lol.

Your sweetness is very heartfelt of me right about now. My ex-boyfriend never told me anything like that.. (because he was only after me for my body).
So needless to blether, your words surpass beauty to me like no others.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-21 00:24:29 +0000 UTC]

What d'you mean by "best"? XD Surely you're not talking about "best looking"? I'm sure you'd look just as beautiful without your makeup.

XD I..don't know what to say...I'm so glad my words mean something to you...
I just have to say that your ex-boyfriend was a fool for not seeing what was right there in front of him: a wonderful, beautiful human being with valid opinions and a clear, interesting mind...and he was blind if he couldn't see how amazing you are...
Just the conversations you and I have had these past few days...you and I have talked about photography and brain science and cryptozoology...You are so open...we've made friends faster than I have made friends with anyone on this site before...I'm so grateful that you've accepted me as your friend, and I'm very proud to call you mine.

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-21 00:41:33 +0000 UTC]

Well let me put it this way; I'd be a terrifying sight first thing in the morning lol.

But of course your words mean something to me, well, they mean more to me than I could've fathomed. My self-esteem has rocketed upwards in the short time we have already spent, which I consider an everyday wonder.
I mean, my ex and I.. we could never have a serious discussion about anything. He just took everything so... lightly that it was annoying. And when he was being serious it wasn't exactly pretty.

My friend, I can say it until you become bored of me - I am truly an honoured and deeply priviledged person to have your presense, even if I am only able to spend an hour or so chatting each night. Your friendship is my diamond in the rough, my flame in the snow, my light. I feel more through our nightly chats than what I ever could from months/years of knowing an unfulfilling partner. I you like a friend I could only have dreamed of.
I am proudly yours my friend.

And now I need to sleep because it's almost quarter to 2 lol.
Lots of luv xx

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-21 01:33:23 +0000 UTC]

Luv: hear this now, ok? I will never become bored of you, so you just put any notions of that to bed ok? and yes, you should get to bed, too luv. I'm looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow. *returning your luv* XD

LOL We're all a little crazy in the morning...but if it's not strange, or creepy of me to say this, it would but kinda cute to see your hair all messed up from the pillow...
I, on the other hand, would look like a crazy, deranged hippie-man in rainbow, zebra-print boxers....not a pretty sight at all...


You've helped my self esteem a lot too! You like my artwork, and you complimented my smile...(nobody ever does that)...you read the first chapter of my story and actually talked to me about it...You're making me feel like I'm worth something, and that really means a lot to me.
Ohh...your ex boyfriend sounds like a bit of a lout...I mean, it's alright to take things lightly, but there is such a thing as "taking things too lightly"...
and having long conversations with somebody is the best thing about a relationship, be it just a friendship or something more. My favourite thing about my closest friends is that we can talk for so long that we lose track of time. I can't imagine anyone who can't do that...
What d'you mean "it wasn't exactly pretty" when he got serious? Did he hurt you?

My dearest friend, I am so glad that I can give this to you. You have made me feel more important than I have ever felt, and I want you to know that I will give you everything that I can. I may have already told you that our chats have given me something to look forward to each day, but if I haven't, I want you to know that; and I also want you to know that I appreciate that so very much. I woke up this morning thinking of you, and I worked all day on that picture you inspired me to do. You have given me the push I need to get things done...in fact I almost feel like going out and running a marathon.
..I don't feel as though my words can express what you've done for me...because all of a sudden, I've become a bit clumsy with them...but I do want you to understand that you are very important to me, and that you mean quite a lot to me. I am proudly yours, too my friend. XD

so goodnight...and until tomorrow.

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-21 20:06:23 +0000 UTC]

"it would but kinda cute to see your hair all messed up from the pillow" - that's about the cutest thing I have ever heard.
Hay, I personally think you'd be cute first thing in the morn also. (not that you already aren't)

Dearest, trust me, you are worth more than something.. because you're worth everything to me as a great friend ^_^

Well when he got serious he was a bit intimidating since he was really tall. But a few months after we broke up he was with another girl and apparently held one of her friends against a wall by her throat (and they are still together).

And, in an empowering sense, ever since I met you I have felt a polar shift in my being. From being bored with my life to having something great to look forward to each day, from lonely to happy. My imagination is also beginning to flow more freely with ideas. I feel like you've lifted my troubles and tossed them away. Every day of my life feels eventful and worthful. I even feel more relaxed in my daily life. So, it's official - you're my lucky mascot
And your words don't sound anything near clumsy to me - they sound sweet and very touching to me. You will never stop meaning the world to me my friend. Bear that in mind, always

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-21 20:33:24 +0000 UTC]

LOL oh good...XD I was worried I'd sound a bit creepy...
LOL Really? well...I dunno...I'd have to leave that up to you to decide, cos sometimes I walk past a mirror and scare myself...-_____-''

aww You are worth everything to me too...I'm so glad to even be allowed to be in your life.

Oh my lord...I'm so glad you got away from him...he definitely sounds like an ass.

I'm so glad to hear it! I have been talking about you to my family, and I think they wonder why I'm so chipper all the time...XD I know it's because of you. Everything seems brighter now that I know you. You've definitely given me something to look forward to...and when I think of you, I can't help but smile....But I don't have words that can express the extent of what you mean to me...I wish I could find the words, but you've just left me speechless.
I will never be sad when I think of you...and you will never stop meaning the world to me either.

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-21 20:48:00 +0000 UTC]

Heck no, you never sound creepy
I can't imagine you really ever looking not so happy and full of life. I mean, I look creepy out in public as most of my clothes are black (I'm not a goth or anything of the sort). But I'm growing tired of black all the time, even my family say it's nice for me to wear colours - apparently my eyes glow when I wear my blue shirt xD

Yes, it can be said, I also can't resist the temptation to smile when I think of you, your name, your smile. And I too doubt that there are words in the dictionary powerful enough to tell you how I feel of the incredible ways of our friendship. Hey, if any new words come out I'll be the first to know.
But in the meantime, I suppose how I think of you is just like sunrays

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-21 21:23:25 +0000 UTC]

LOL really? wow...you're the first one that's said that, ever...
Haha I'd never cease to be happy and full of life with you around!
Sadly, I have been unhappy and devoid of life before...it always used to be that way...But with a little help from my bagpipe band, and you, I'm feeling like sunshine more every day. I'm usually a nervous wreck the day before classes start, but thinking of you keeps me calm and happy. XD
XD I wear obnoxious colours most of the time...it's my own little way of rebelling, since I usually look like something that's just walked out of the 1970s...XD but yeah.
It's amazing to think of your eyes being brought out so much by a blue shirt...sure they'd mystify me if I ever saw it...

I remind you of sunrays? That's so wonderful...XD
To me, you're like a morning mist...soft and refreshing; a sight to put one in awe...and yet you're warm, like a good cup of tea in a safe place to be...as inviting and comforting as a hug....Here I go writing a poem about you...and still there's more that I just can't put words to....
Wow...did I mean to rhyme that, or does your friendship just weave my words together?
You amaze me, Elyssia...it seems as though you're my inspiration. XD

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-21 21:34:02 +0000 UTC]

Haha, I shall have to find a picture a me in blue then!

Actually, I know all too well what you mean about being devoid of life.. I was pretty sick when I was 11 as a result of bullying, and it took me years to climb back up from it. I still sometimes feel nervous and intimidated by people if they're staring me dead in the face. And also, because you mean the Earth to me, I hope you won't mind me telling you that I was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum at age 13. I'm usually very open about it, but since I saw something special in you from day one, I kept it hidden. I trust though that your views won't change

Oh you, you will never cease to amaze me. And that little poem was gorgeous. Truly my heart strings hum with the sense of optimism you bring me.
And that is also the first time anyone has ever dubbed me their inspiration. So the same can be said, that you are mine too ^_^

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harrimaniac27 In reply to ElysiumFaridat [2011-07-21 21:51:55 +0000 UTC]

XD I look forward to the picture with anticipation. XD

Ohh...Believe me, I know how you feel. I was bullied a lot around that age too, and as a result of that, I tend to hide myself in a bit of an "imaginary castle" as it were, that's protecting me from being hurt...if you want to know more about that, you can note me...I don't really think anyone will see it, but it's very personal...and I don't think it needs to be in a comment box...
And don't worry: I actually think I may be on the autistic spectrum as well....I only have my suspicions, though...nobody's ever told me for sure...at first I thought I was schizophrenic, but that was a little far out....I've actually never told anybody about my suspicions before, though...
Since you're so special to me, I will share with you anything about myself that you want to know: ask anything, and don't worry about my feelings...I trust that if you ask me, you are genuinely curious and not just trying to be nosy.

Ohh...I wish I could really hug you right now. ...I feel as though I've been making a fool out of myself, but you seem to accept everything I do that I thought was strange...I usually feel so awkward around people, but with you, I truly feel as though I can be myself...and that is so rare. Thank you so, so very much. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am to be your friend.

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ElysiumFaridat In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-21 22:05:33 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I understand that, anything personal we can easily talk about via note.

I still tend to lie low in college, I sometimes eat with everybody else but I don't enjoy it. I'm there for the knowledge aspect (unlike many of them).
Autism itself is such a vast spectrum remember and that seems to be what confuses people. I'm barely on it actually, I was diagnosed because of social anxieties and changes in my routine which are classic characteristics. I really felt depressed when I was diagnosed because I thought I was too different to ever fit in.. which is still quite correct. I'm not popular just because I'm shy and seemingly strange to some. But it's really not bad, especially when I did some research of my own and found out that a lot of autistic people are very intelligent, logical and talented people.
It's alright, I'm hardly ever one for asking of questions, I dare not poke around in your affairs, if I do ask something you don't want to answer, just tell me to bugger off lol.

Why would you feel you are making a fool of yourself? I see greatness in everything you say and do - that's why I accept everything you say and do
It is strange also that I feel so calm during our chats, like I can finally let it all hang out and just be me in any sense. Oh I'd just like to appear on your doorstep and give you a hug also. More grateful I doubt I can be.

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wiekoh [2011-07-18 09:46:04 +0000 UTC]

Count me in as a follower, too!
As for the current scene, it's hard to comment on it without context. It moves slowly, but if the rest of the story were to move quicker, then slowing this part down would intensify the moment properly.
You are a very strong writer. That is rare. Never undervalue that ability. The only thing I might suggest is thinking about slightly unusual ways to express things, slightly unusual and more honest to how the characters feel existentially. Because quite often, conventional phrasing doesn't come that near to how we experience reality.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to wiekoh [2011-07-18 20:43:46 +0000 UTC]

Yayy! I'll be writing it then!
The current scene was merely an exersise to see if I could write for them...I may or may not use it in the actual story. XD But Yeah, It is slow...I wanted the scene to be as tense as possible, which is why I used phrases like "he could feel the seconds ticking away".
Thank you! I'm glad you consider me a strong writer. XD
Ok I'll take your advice. I already try to come up with creative ways to explain the surroundings and thoughts of the people involved in the scenes, but I'll play with making them a little more unusual. XD

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wiekoh In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-18 23:22:24 +0000 UTC]

I can give you brief examples of what I mean.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to wiekoh [2011-07-18 23:51:03 +0000 UTC]

Ok, please do! XD

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wiekoh In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-19 11:33:26 +0000 UTC]

Here is one chapter from the work. Although it's a work in progress, it is still copyrighted material, and I don't have rights to it, so if I'm discovered to be posting it, I'll be in deep shit. I probably won't be discovered, and there is no huge rush on this. But do let me know when you're finished with it so that I can delete it.
[link]

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harrimaniac27 In reply to wiekoh [2011-07-19 18:47:39 +0000 UTC]

I'm finished reading it.

I'll be honest: I liked the way the dialogue moved through the story, but the descriptive language used in the passage was a bit thick for my taste..it didn't really paint a good enough picture in my head of what was going on, and it seemed that too many descriptive words were used when the author could simply have been concise...
Plus, it was very hard for me to tell what was going on...at first it seemed as though they were flying the plane, and then it seemed that they had just been passengers...then, the next thing I know they're in a car...
In my opinion, the language describing their surroundings was so thick that it overshadowed what was supposed to be happening in the story. When reading it, I got so caught up in what was around them that it was hard to focus on what they were actually doing. That kind of thing is ok when done in moderation, but when it's constantly done throughout the entire length of a chapter, it gets hard for me to stay with the story.

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wiekoh In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-19 20:34:55 +0000 UTC]

Oh wow. You didn't have to give a review of it, because it's not my work, and I'm not supposed to be posting it without permission, but that was nice of you nonetheless.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to wiekoh [2011-07-19 21:00:41 +0000 UTC]

Well, you put it up as a suggestion to me, I figured it'd just be nice to acknowledge it.

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wiekoh In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-19 21:12:40 +0000 UTC]

You raise some valid points. Unfortunately, this story was written for the intensely literary genre, so what you dislike about it is precisely what it is aiming for.

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harrimaniac27 In reply to wiekoh [2011-07-19 21:14:18 +0000 UTC]

Well...I suppose It's alright if like that sort of thing, but I must confess that I'd rather read something a little less thick...

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wiekoh In reply to harrimaniac27 [2011-07-19 21:19:47 +0000 UTC]

Of course. It's purely a matter of taste. The good news for you is that you could get a mass following with your writing style. Louderandlouder is targeting only niche groups. Yes, I was an English major, and yes, I'm more accustomed to the arcane and experimental literary style, BUT because I'm totally "agnostic," I love your style as much as I love the literary style. I do not prefer a genre: All that matters to me is that someone writes well in whatever genre they're writing.

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