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Haters-Gonna-Hate-Me — Teenage Pregnancy
Published: 2012-09-02 00:58:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 5345; Favourites: 105; Downloads: 18
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Hai, kawaii desu.Related content
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ah yes, children having sex is apparently soooo kawai.
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got it! I got it! I got it! Dinghy ahoy. Dinghy off the port bow. - Dinghy off the port bow! - Dinghy off the port bow! Dinghy off the port bow. - Captain, dinghy off the-- - Dinghy. I got it! I got it. Where is it? It's right here, captain. I never thought I'd see it with me own eye. Tickets to The SpongeBob Movie! Who lives in a pineapple Under the sea? Absorbent and yellow And porous is he SpongeBob SquarePants lf nautical nonsense Be something you wish SpongeBob SquarePants Then drop on the deck And flop like a fish SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants The sea. So mysterious, so beautiful. So... ...wet. Our story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery The Krusty Krab restaurant, where-- - Back up. Back up. - Hey. Wait a minute. - What is happening? - PIease, settIe down. We've got a situation in there I'd rather not discuss tiII me manager gets here. Look, there he is. TaIk to me, Krabs. It started out as a simpIe order: a Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, no cheese! Get ahoId of yourseIf, Eugene. I'm going in. Take it easy, friend. I'm the manager of this estabIishment. Everything's gonna be just fine. - I'm reaIIy scared here, man. - You got a name? - PhiI. - You got a famiIy, PhiI? Come on, PhiI, stay with me. Let's hear about that famiIy. I got a wife and two beautifuI chiIdren. That's what it's aII about. I want you to do me a favour, PhiI. What? Say cheese. Order up. Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip! Hip! Hip! Hip! Hip! Hooray! Gary, I had that dream again. And it's finaIIy gonna come true. Today. Sorry about this, caIendar. Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2, where Mr. Krabs wiII announce the new manager. Who's it gonna be, Gary? WeII, Iet's ask my waII of 37 4 consecutive empIoyee-of-the-month awards. SpongeBob SquarePants. I'm ready. Promotion. CIeanIiness is next to manager-Iiness. I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion. SpongeBob! What are you doing in here? I have to teII you something, Squidward. Whatever it is, can't it wait untiI we get to work? - There's no shower at work. - What do you want? I just wanted to say I'II be thanking you in my manageriaI acceptance speech today. Get out! Okay. I'II see you at the ceremony. That sounds Iike the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2. Oops. HoId on. - CongratuIations, buddy. - Oh, thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party tiII we're purpIe. I Iove being purpIe! We're going to the pIace where aII the action is. - You don't mean...? - Oh, I mean. Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat! Oh, l'm a Goofy Goober, yeah You're a Goofy Goober, yeah We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah I'd better get going. I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion. Good Iuck, SpongeBob. Hey, Iook for me at the ceremony. I got a IittIe surprise for you. l'm a Goofy Goober Yeah HeIIo, Bikini Bottom! Perch Perkins here, coming to you Iive from in front of The Krusty Krab restaurant, for years the onIy pIace to get a deIicious and mouth-watering Krabby Patty. UntiI today, that is. That's right, foIks. Long-time owner Mr. Krabs is opening a new restaurant caIIed The Krusty Krab 2. First of aII, congratuIations, Mr. Krabs. HeIIo. I Iike money. What inspired you to buiId a second Krusty Krab right next door to the originaI? Money. Curses! It's not fair. Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had one customer! Don't get worked up again, Plankton, l just mopped the floors. Oh, Karen, my computer wife, if onIy I couId have managed to steaI the secret to Krabs' success, the formuIa for the Krabby Patty. Then peopIe wouId Iine up to eat at my restaurant. Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every eviI pIan in my fiIing cabinet... - ...from A to Y. - A to Y? Yeah, A to Y. You know, the aIphabet. What about Z? - Z? - Z. The letter after Y. W, X, Y, Z. PIan Z! - Here it is, just Iike you said. - Oh, boy. It's eviI. It's diaboIicaI. It's Iemon-scented. This PIan Z can't possibIy faiI! So enjoy today, Mr. Krabs, because by tomorrow, I'II have the formuIa. Then everyone wiII eat at the Chum Bucket, and I wiII ruIe the worId! AII haiI PIankton. AII haiI PIank--! I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion. I think I stepped in something. Not in something, on someone, you twit. Sorry, PIankton. Are you on your way to the grand-opening ceremony? No, I am not on my way over to the grand-opening ceremony. I'm busy pIanning to ruIe the worId! WeII, good Iuck with that. I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion. Stupid kid. WeIcome. WeIcome, everyone, to the grand opening of The Krusty Krab 2. - We paid $9 for this? - I paid 1 0. Now, before we begin with the ribbon-cutting, I'd Iike to announce the name of our new manager. Yay! Yeah! Yeah! Now we're taIking! Yeah! Yes. WeII, anyway... The new manager is a IoyaI, hard-working empIoyee. Yes. The obvious choice for the job. He's right. A name you aII know. It starts with an S. - That's me. - PIease weIcome our new manager... ...Squidward TentacIes. Yes! Yeah! Oh, better Iuck next time, buddy. Yeah! AII right! PeopIe of Bikini Bottom, as the manager of-- SpongeBob. HoId the phone, foIks, I'm getting an important news fIash from Mr. Krabs. Go ahead, Mr. K. I'm making a compIete what of myseIf? The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen? And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone? Oh, for crying out Ioud, SpongeBob, you didn't get the job. - What? - You did not get the job. But-- But why? SpongeBob, you're a great fry cook, but I gave the job to Squidward because being manager is a big responsibiIity. WeII, Iet's face it, he's more... - ...mature than you. - I'm not... ...mature? Lad, I mean this in the nicest of ways, but there's a word for what you are, and that word is... Now, Iet's see... - Dork? - No, wait, that's not right. Not a dork. - A goofbaII? - CIoser, but no, no, no. - A ding-a-Iing. - Wing nut. A KnuckIehead McSpazatron. Okay, that's enough. Look, what I'm trying to say is, you're just a kid. And to be a manager, you have to be a man. Otherwise they'd caII it ''kid-ager.'' You understand-ager? I mean, you understand? I guess so, Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob? I'm ready. Depression. I'm ready. Depression. Poor kid. Hooray for SpongeBob! Hooray for SpongeBob! Let's hear it for SpongeBob! HeIIo? Where'd everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt? Later that evening... Time to put PIan Z into effect. Starting at the undersea castIe of King Neptune. Oh, right. The royaI court is now in session. Bring the prisoner forward. So you have confessed to the crime of touching the king's crown. - Yes, but-- - But what? But it's my job, Your Highness. I'm the royaI crown poIisher. WeII, then I guess I can't execute you. - Twenty years in the dungeon it is. - Daddy. You're free to go. BIess you, Princess Mindy. Mindy, how dare you defy me. Why do you have to be so mean? I am the king. I must enforce the Iaws of the sea. Father, I wish you'd try a IittIe Iove and compassion instead of these harsh punishments. That wouId be nice. Squire, cIear the room. I wish to speak to my daughter aIone. What is this, Mindy? - Your crown? - And what does this crown do? - Covers your baId spot. - It's not baId, it's thinning. This crown does much more than cover a sIightIy receding hairIine. No, this crown entitIes the one who wears it to be in charge of the sea. One day, you wiII wear this crown. I'm gonna be baId? Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you won't wear it untiI you Iearn how to ruIe with an iron fist. Like your father. Dad, your ''crown''... What the...? My crown! Someone has stoIen the royaI crown! I got it. I got it. Hey, aII you Goobers, it's time to say howdy to your favourite undersea peanut, Goofy Goober. Howdy, Goofy Goober! Hey, feIIow Goofy Goobers. Time to sing. Oh, l'm a Goofy Goober, yeah You're a Goofy Goober, yeah We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah AII right. Get it together, oId boy. I know. I'II just stop thinking about it. Hey, you know, I actuaIIy feeI a IittIe better. I don't even remember why I was sad. Hey, it's the new Krusty Krab 2 manager. Wow, the pressure's aIready setting in. No, Pat, you don't understand. I didn't get the promotion. What? Why? Mr. Krabs thinks I'm a kid. - What? That's insane. - I know. WeII, saying you're a kid, it's Iike saying I'm a kid. - Here's your Goober MeaI, sir. - I'm supposed to get a toy with this. Thanks. I'm gonna head home, Pat. The ceIebration's off. - Are you sure? - Yeah. I'm not in a Goober mood. Okay, see you. And here's your TripIe Gooberberry Sunrise, sir. TripIe Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I couId use one of those. Now you're taIking. Hey, waiter, we need another one over here. There you go. Boy, Pat, that hit the spot. - I'm feeIing better aIready. - Yeah. Waiter, Iet's get another round over here. Oh, Mr. Waiter. Two more, pIease. Waiter. Oh, waiter. Waiter. Waiter. - Waiter! - Why do I aIways get the nuts? AII right, foIks, this one goes out to my two bestest friends in the whoIe worId: Patrick and this big peanut guy. It's a IittIe ditty caIIed... ...''Waiter!'' Hey. Hey, get up. Hey, come on, buddy. I wanna go home. Come on, paI. Oh, my head. Listen to me. It's 8 in the morning. Go scrape up your friend and get going. My friend? Patrick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Wait, you said 8:00. I'm Iate for work. Mr. Krabs is gonna be... Mr. Krabs. Now, pay attention, Squidward. As new manager, you've gotta keep a sharp eye out for paying customers. Yawn. What's this? King Neptune is riding toward The Krusty Krab at Iunchtime. He's got money. Stay in the coach, daughter. This won't take Iong. Daddy, pIease. I think you're overreacting. SiIence, Mindy. I know what I'm doing. - Squire. - Yes, Your Highness. Have this poIe executed at once. A hundred and one doIIars for a Krabby Patty? With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese. Greeting, subjects. I seek the one known as Eugene Krabs. May he present himseIf to me at once. I'm Eugene Krabs, Your Highness. WouId you Iike to order something? Nay! I'm on to you, Krabs! You have stoIen the royaI crown, you cannot deny. For, cIever as you are, you Ieft one damning piece of evidence at the scene of the crime. ''I stoIe your crown. Signed, Eugene Krabs.'' ReIinquish the royaI crown to me at once. But-- But this is crazy. I didn't do it. Ahoy, this is Eugene Krabs. Leave a message. Hi, Mr. Krabs. This is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to. Yeah, l just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. l sold it to a guy in Shell City, and l just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye. Don't you just hate wrong numbers? My crown is in the forbidden SheII City?! PIan Z. I Iove PIan Z. Prepare to burn, Krabs. Wait, Neptune. PIease, I'm begging you. I ain't a crook. Ask anyone, they'II vouch for me. Very weII, then. Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fishmeaI, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs? I've got something to say about Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob, me boy, you've come just in time. - Pardon me, miss. - PIease, teII King Neptune aII about me. I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and aIways thought he was a great boss. You see? A great boss. I now reaIize that he's a great big jerk! I deserve that manager's job! But you didn't give it to me, because you say I'm a kid. WeII, I am 1 00-percent man! And this man has got something to say to you. There. I think I made my point. Anyone eIse? No? WeII, then. Me pants are on fire! Me underwear's on fire! I'm on fire! Oh, yeah. And now, Eugene Krabs, you wiII-- Wait. I'm fIattered you wouId do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth kiIIing Mr. Krabs over. Quiet, fooI! Mr. Krabs stoIe my crown, and now it's in SheII City. - That's why he must die. - Doesn't it seem a IittIe harsh to kiII someone over a crown? You don't understand. My crown is a symboI of my king-Iike authority. And between you and me... ...my hair is thinning a bit. Oh, Your Highness, I'm sure it's not that notice-- BaId. BaId. - BaId! BaId! - BaId! BaId! My eyes! AII right, aII right. King Neptune, sir? WouId you spare Mr. Krabs' Iife if I went to get your crown back? You, go to SheII City? No one who's gone to SheII City has ever returned. What makes you think you couId? You're just a kid. But I'm not a kid. I can do it. Run aIong, I have a crab to cook. No! I won't Iet you. Very weII, then. I'II have to fry you both. Daddy, stop it. Can't you get through one day without executing someone? Mindy. I toId you to stay in the carriage. Where's your Iove and compassion? Look at this IittIe guy. He's wiIIing to risk his Iife to find your crown and save his boss. - But, daughter, I-- - PIease, Father? At Ieast Iet him try. What have you got to Iose? Might I remind you of your speciaI probIem? - BaId! BaId! BaId! - BaId! - BaId! BaId! - My eyes! AII right. Very weII, Mindy. I'II give him a chance. But when your IittIe champion faiIs to return, I get to spIatter this crab aII over the waIIs. And as for you, be back here with my crown in exactIy ten days. - He can do it in nine. - Eight. - Seven. - Six. - Patrick! - Patrick! Six it is, then. - Five. - Patrick, shush. UntiI then, the crab shaII remain frozen where he now stands. No, wait. I'm begging you. Who turned on the AC? Mr. Krabs! Oh, no, this is terribIe. Who's gonna sign my paycheck? Come aIong, Mindy. Listen, you guys, the road to SheII City is reaIIy dangerous. There's crooks, kiIIers and monsters everywhere. And what's worse, there's a giant CycIops who guards the outskirts of the city and preys on innocent sea creatures. Don't Iet him catch you, because if he does, he'II take you back to his Iair, and you'II never be seen again. She's purty, SpongeBob. Here, take this. What's in here? It's a magicaI bag of winds. - I stoIe them from my father. - You're hot. Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds and you'II be bIown back home. - Mindy! - I'm coming. - Good Iuck, SpongeBob. - Wait. How did you know my name? Oh, I'm gonna be queen of the sea one day. I've Iearned the names of aII the sea creatures. What's my name? That's easy. You're Patrick Star. - Mindy! - I gotta go. I beIieve in you guys. Thanks, Mindy. Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. Patrick, Squidward and I-- Pass. - Patrick and I... - Hi. ...are gonna get that crown back and save you from Neptune's wrath. You've got nothing to worry about. Your Iife is in our hands. Patrick, Iet's go get that crown. - Feast your eyes, Patrick. - What is it? The Patty Wagon. Mr. Krabs uses it for promotionaI reasons. Let me show you some of its features. Sesame-seed finish, steeI-beIted pickIes, griIIed-Ieather interior. And under the hood, a fueI-injected french-fryer with duaI overhead grease traps. - Wow. - Yeah, wow. Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's Iicense. You don't need a Iicense to drive a sandwich. - SheII City, here we come! - SheII City, here we come! Ding-a-Iing. Hey there, oId buddy. Freeze. One secret formuIa to go, pIease. No, no, don't troubIe yourseIf. I'II get it. WeII, I'd Iike to hang around, but I've got Krabby Patties to make... ...over at the Chum Bucket. PIan Z, I Iove you. Oh, l'm a Goofy Goober, yeah You're a Goofy Goober, yeah We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah FiII her up, pIease. What'II it be, feIIas, mustard or ketchup? Are they Iaughing at us? No, Patrick, they're Iaughing next to us. Where you two dumb kids headed, anyway? - Kids? - Now, Patrick. For your information, we are not kids, we are men. And we're off to get King Neptune's crown in SheII City. - SheII City? - SheII City? Ain't that the pIace that's guarded by a kiIIer CycIops? That's right. LIoyd, take off your hat in respect. Respect for the dead! You two dipsticks ain't gonna Iast ten seconds over the county Iine. Oh, yeah? We'II see about that. Out of the car, feIIas. How many seconds was that? TweIve. - In your face. - In your face. That's what I'm taIking about. Yeah. Who's the kid now? They're dead. Perch Perkins here with an incredibIe news fIash. PIankton is seIIing Krabby Patties at the Chum Bucket. How is this possibIe? Let's find out. Step right up. PIenty for everybody. Excuse me, PIankton. Perch Perkins, Bikini Bottom News. - Can I get a minute? - Anything for you, Perch. AII of Bikini Bottom wants to know, how did you get the Krabby Patty? WeII, Perch, before my dear friend Eugene Krabs was frozen by King Neptune... I'm sorry. He confided in me a secret wish. ''SeII the Krabby Patty in my absence at the Chum Bucket,'' he said. ''Don't Iet the fIame die out.'' By the way, act now and you get a free Chum Bucket bucket heImet with every purchase. Here you go, Perch. - Thanks. - Bucket heImets for everyone! My heImet! Karen, baby, I haven't feIt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife. l never agreed. EviI PIan Z is working perfectIy. Nothing can stop me now. Nothing except SpongeBob and his pink friend. My sensors indicate that they're going after the crown. lf they make it back, Neptune might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints. EviI PIan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've aIready hired someone to take care of those two. He's a vicious, coId-bIooded predator. Sesame seed. Hey, mister. Does that hat take ten gaIIons? - Going on. - Yeah. Yeah. - Moving on. - Just keep going. Yup. Gonna get that crown. Oh, yeah. - AII right. - AII right. Yeah. Victory. - Are we there yet? - We must be cIose by now. Patrick, Iook. We're doing great! SheII City's onIy five days away. By car. I wish we stiII had our car. SpongeBob, Iook. Our car! - The key. - Where do you think it is? There it is, Pat. The key! Now, how are we gonna get it? I know. WaIk in and ask him for it. What are you Iooking at? - Patrick, that's a terribIe idea. - Sorry. I know. I'II go in and create a distraction, and you get the key. Wait. I wanna do the distraction. Okay. I guess it reaIIy doesn't matter who does the distraction. You see me waIking back--? Can I have everybody's attention? I have to use the bathroom. It's right over there. Stupid contacts. Oh, there it is. I better go wash it off. Patrick. You caII that a distraction? WeII, I had to go to the bathroom. WeII, I got my hands dirty for nothing. Patrick, check it out. - Hooray! - Hooray! - BubbIe party! - BubbIe party! Hey! Who bIew this bubbIe? You aII know the ruIes! AII bubbIe-bIowing babies wiII be beaten senseIess by every abIe-bodied patron in the bar. That's right! So who bIew it? So nobody knows. - Maybe it was-- - Shut up! Somebody in here ain't a reaI man. You! We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out. Now, everybody Iine up. DJ, time for the test. No baby can resist singing aIong to this. SpongeBob, it's the Goofy Goober theme song. I know. Oh, l'm a Goofy Goober, yeah You're a Goofy Goober, yeah We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah - It was you! You're the baby! - No, no! I onIy coughed, I swear. DJ ! Turn it up Iouder! Don't sing aIong, Patrick. I'm trying. Trying so hard. l'm a Goofy Goober, yeah You're a Goofy Goober, yeah We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah WeII, weII, weII. Which one of you babies was it? - It was him. - It was him. - He did it. - He did it. I've never even eaten at-- Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah WeII, Iooks Iike we got ourseIves a doubIe baby. Man, that was a cIose caII. Guess what I got. The key! Too bad SpongeBob's not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here. Morning. Some peopIe have no taste in headgear. Babies too? Excuse me, miss, but where is everybody getting that horrid headwear? Who said that? Down here. WeII, I got it at the Chum Bucket. PIankton's giving them away free with every Krabby Patty. Chum Bucket? Free? Krabby Patty? PIankton? Giving? With? So you're seIIing Krabby Patties, PIankton? That's right, Squidward. And there's a free bucket heImet with every purchase. Care for one? No. You may have hoodwinked everyone eIse in this backwater town, but you can't fooI me. I Iisten to pubIic radio. - And what's that supposed to mean? - It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stoIe the crown so Neptune wouId freeze him and you couId finaIIy get your stubby IittIe paws on the Krabby Patty formuIa. It was you aII aIong. But you made one fataI mistake. You messed with my paycheck. And I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the Iand, King Neptune! We'II see about that, Inspector LooseIips. Now activating helmet brain-control devices. What? All hail Plankton. - What's going on here? - All hail Plankton. Seize him, sIaves! All hail Plankton. I'm getting out of here! All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. Who can stop me now? Who? - Come on, Pat, one more time. - Okay. We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out. ''Weed them out.'' What a jerk. The road's getting kind of bumpy here. You know, SpongeBob, there's a Iesson to be Iearned from aII of this. What's that, Patrick? A bubbIe-bIowing doubIe baby doesn't beIong out here in man's country. Yeah. Wait. We bIew that bubbIe. Doesn't that make us a bubbIe-bIowing doubIe baby? Hey, Iook, free ice cream! Oh, boy! How you doing? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. SpongeBob! Yeah? Make mine a chocoIate! Got you covered. Two, pIease. CertainIy. You kids enjoy. ActuaIIy, we're men, Iady, but thanks. Okay, Patrick, Iet's... You can Iet go now. I said, Iet go, pIease. What is this? What kind of oId Iady are you? Did you get the ice cream? Step on it, Patrick! Hey! You may not know it, cowboy, but we got a ruIe around here about bIowing bubbIes. AII bubbIe-bIowing babies wiII be beaten senseIess by every abIe-bodied... - In bar... - Bar... Come on, kiddies, have some ice cream. I'II Iet you pet Mr. Whiskers. Jump for it, Patrick! WeII, we Iost our car again. Never mind the car, where's the road? Road. Road. Road. Road. Road. Road. Road. R-- Sorry. There's the road. On the other side of this... ...deep, dark... ...dangerous... - Hazardous. - ...hazardous... Monster-infested. Yeah, monster-infested... ...trench. Hey, SpongeBob, Iook! Here's the way down. WeII, we're not gonna get the crown standing here. On to SheII City. Hey, Iook, it's making noise. SpongeBob? - Hey, where are you going? - I'm going home, Patrick. But what about Mr. Krabs? What about us? We'II never survive in that trench! You said it yourseIf, this is man's country. And Iet's face it, Pat. We're just... - ...kids. - We're not kids. Open your eyes, Patrick! We bIow bubbIes, we eat ice cream. We worship a dancing peanut, for corn's sake! We don't beIong out here! We do not worship him. You've been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight. What do you caII that? Worship? You're right, SpongeBob. We are kids. PuII your pants up, Patrick. - We're going home. - But you can't go home. Mindy! Mindy? - How much did you hear? - I heard enough. - Did you see my underwear? - No, Patrick. Did you want to? Look, guys, you may be kids, but you're the onIy ones Ieft who can get that crown. What do you mean, the onIy ones Ieft? Things have gotten a Iot worse since you Ieft Bikini Bottom. Or shouId I say PIanktopoIis. All hail Plankton. No resting! This monument ceIebrating my gIory isn't gonna buiId itseIf. Move faster! Oh, my gosh! Patrick, Iook! PIankton's turned everyone we know into sIaves. Squidward. Sandy. Mrs. Puff. Even Gary. PIankton. Can't your father do something? My father's too distracted by his baId spot to do anything. Squire, wiII you hurry. So you see, you can't quit. The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands. - But-- But we're just-- - Hey. It doesn't matter if you're kids. And what's so wrong with being a kid, anyway? Kids ruIe! You don't need to be a man to do this. You just gotta beIieve in yourseIf. You just gotta beIieve! - I beIieve. - That's the spirit. I beIieve that everybody I know is a goner! Come on, guys. Guys. Guys? Guys? Oh, boy. Think, Mindy, think. Yup, I guess you're right. A coupIe of kids couId never survive this journey. That's why I guess I'II just have to turn you into men. You can do that? How? With my mermaid magic. Did you hear that, Patrick? She'II use her mermaid magic to turn us into men! Hooray! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men! Good. Now, Iet's get started. CIose your eyes. - Are we men yet? - Not yet. Spin around three times. I think it's working. Good. Now, keep your eyes shut. With my mermaid's magic and my one taiIfin, I command the two of you to turn into men! Open your eyes. I don't feeI any-- Oh, my gosh, Patrick, you have a moustache! So do you! So now that you're men, can you make it to SheII City? - Guys. - Yeah? I said, now that you're men, can you make it to SheII City? Heck, yeah! - Are men afraid of anything? - Heck, no! And why? Because we're invincibIe! - Yeah! - Yeah! I never said that. - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah. - Patrick? - Yeah, buddy? Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs? Bec-- WeII... - Patrick. - Are we dead? No. Far from it, my friend. We're safe and sound at the bottom of this trench. The moustaches worked! Do you know what that means? We are invincibIe! Now that we're men We can do anything Now that we're men We are invincible Now that we're men We'll go to Shell City Get the crown, save the town And Mr. Krabs Now that we're men We have facial hair Now that we're men l change my underwear Now that we're men We've got a manly flair We've got the stuff We're tough enough to save the day We never had a chance when we were kids No! No! No! But take a look at what the mermaid did Yeah, go, Pat. Oh, yeah. Yeah, go, SpongeBob. Hooray! Now that they're men We can't bother them Now that they're men They have become our friends Now that they're men There'll be a happy end They'll pass the test And finish the quest for the crown They'll pass the test And finish the quest They'll pass the test And finish the quest for the crown ''SheII City, dead ahead.'' We did it, Pat! We made it past everything! Even the hideous, disgusting monsters. Not you guys. You guys are awesome! WeII, Patrick, we shouId be there in one more verse. - Now that we're men-- - FinaIIy. I got you right where I want you. Can I heIp you with something, sir? Name's Dennis. I've been hired to exterminate you. You're gonna exterminate us? Listen, junior, you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I'm gonna Iet you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won't have to feeI the awesome wrath of our moustaches. You mean these? I thought you stiII had a piece of saIad stuck to your Iip from Iunchtime. They were fake? Of course they were fake! This is what a reaI moustache Iooks Iike. - Is he a mermaid? - AII right. Enough gab. What are you gonna do to us? PIankton was very specific. PIankton? For some reason, he wanted me to step on you. Step on us? Yeah! That way you'II never find out that he stoIe the crown! Perhaps I've said too much. That's a big boot. Don't worry. This wiII onIy hurt a Iot. I Iove this job! - Bigger boot! - Wait, Pat. This bigger boot saved our Iives. Thank you, stranger. Stranger? It's the CycIops! HeIp us! HeIp us! Save us, someone! Are we dead? I don't think so. ArtificiaIIy coIoured rocks? I don't know where we are. What is this? It's some kind of waII of psychic energy. No, Pat, it's a giant gIass bowI. Hey, there's some fish foIk. - Hey, over here! - Hey! Hey! Hey, you guys! - You guys, hey! HeIp! - Hey! HeIp! - A IittIe heIp here! We're stuck in this-- - HeIp us out of the tank! Wait a second. Those fish are dead. What's he gonna do with us? Oh, no, he's going for his eviI instruments of torture. GIue? GoogIe eyes? He's making a humorous diorama of... ...AIexander CIam BeII? Patrick, he's kiIIing sea animaIs and making them into smeIIy knickknacks. And I think we're next. - You think so? - Patrick! No! The heat is so intense from this Iamp that I can't move. The heat is so intense from this Iamp that I can't move. TeII me about it. This doesn't Iook too good, Patrick. You mean we're not gonna Get the crown, save the town And Mr. Krabs? I don't even think we're gonna be abIe to save ourseIves, buddy. - Thanks. - Don't mention it. WeII, it Iooks Iike what everybody said about us is true, Patrick. You mean that we're attractive? No, that we're just kids. A coupIe of kids in way over their heads. We were doomed from the start. I mean, Iook at us. We didn't even come cIose to the crown. We Iet everybody down. We faiIed. SheII City. Yeah, we never made it to SheII City. SheII City. ExactIy, buddy. Yeah, the pIace we never got to. SheII City. Okay, now you're starting to bum me out, Patrick. No, Iook at the sign. ''SheII City. Marine gifts and sundries.'' SheII City is a gift shop? But if this is SheII City, then where's the...? - Crown. - Crown. Neptune's crown. This is SheII City. Pat, we did make it. Yeah, I guess we did. We did aII right for a coupIe of goofbaIIs. l'm a Goofy Goober, yeah You're a Goofy Goober, yeah We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah That's the end of SpongeBob. Come here, you. Shut up and Iook at the screen. The bird's right. Look. It be the tear of the Goofy Goobers. Hey, we're aIive. - Let's get that crown. - Right. On three, Patrick. Ready? One, two, three. Hey, it's Iighter than I thought. What's happening? I don't know. Look! Come on, Patrick. Let's get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. - Do you stiII have that bag of winds? - I sure do. Here you go. What? Nothing. Nothing. Okay, Iet's go over the instructions. Let's see, it says here, ''Step one: Point bag away from home.'' - Okay. - ''Step two: PIant feet firmIy on ground.'' - Right. - ''Step three: Remove string from bag, reIeasing the winds.'' Check. WeII, that seems simpIe enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmIy on ground, puII string, reIeasing the winds. AII right, Iet's do it for reaI. SpongeBob? - No, no, stop! - I was bad, I'm sorry! - PIease, bag. - I'm sorry, I just thought-- It was a mistake! Oh, no. How wiII we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now? I can take you there. - Who are you? - I'm David HasseIhoff. - Hooray! - Hooray! So where's your boat? Boat? - Go, HasseIhoff. - Next stop, Bikini Bottom. All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. WeII, Krabs, you know what today is? Sorry about this, caIendar. March 1 4. Wait, that's not right. It shouId say ''The day that Krabs fries.'' Guess who's here. Hooray for HasseIhoff! Nothing can stop us now. Unidentified object off the hindquarters. It Iooks Iike... ...bigger boot. But how? Dennis! Did you miss me? This is the best seat in the house. AII right, Neptune, Iet's get it on. Eugene Krabs, your six-day reprieve is up, and it is time for you to die. PIease, I didn't do it. There is nothing eIse I can do. You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a IittIe more time. Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a IittIe more time-- What? Mindy, wiII you butt out. I won't have you staIIing this execution. StaIIing? I'm not staIIing anything. - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. Yes, you are. You're doing it right now. - I'm staIIing. - Yes. - StaIIing? - StaIIing! - StaIIing. - StaIIing! Oh, boy. Now, where were we? - Patrick, run. - No. I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'II never stop-- Run, SpongeBob! Take it easy back there, feIIas. SpongeBob, be carefuI. Come on, kid, give it up. Dennis aIways gets his man. Never! Yeah! I did it! You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip them out of you. I don't know what PIankton's paying you, but if you Iet us go, I can make it worth your whiIe. It's gonna take a Iot more than 5... - What is this? - That, sir, is five Goober doIIars. LegaI tender at any participating Goofy Goober-- I got bubbIes. Fun at parties. My eyes. I got you, SpongeBob. Thanks, buddy. Thanks a Iot. That's it. I'm through messing around. See you Iater, fooIs. See you. So you think... ...I'm... ...staIIing. Where am I, in Crazytown? I have had enough of this nonsense! You are to wait in the carriage untiI the execution is done. - But, Daddy-- - Now! No, no, no! Oh, SpongeBob, wherever you are, you better hurry. Okay, feIIas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom's directIy beIow. But we'II never be abIe to fIoat down in time. Who said anything about fIoating? - lnitiating launch sequence. - What the--? - Did you see that? - The controI. AII hands on deck. Ten seconds to lift-off. Nine, eight... Eugene Krabs, the time has come... - No. - Yes. ...six, five... ...for you... - No. - Yes. ...three, two... - ...to fry. - No. - Yes. - ...one. No! You done good, HasseIhoff. You done-- Hooray! We made it. We made it. My crown. My beautifuI crown! SpongeBob? Patrick? I knew you couId do it. Oh, yes. WeII done, SpongeBoob. Sorry to rain on your parade, PIankton. Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shaII be quite dry under my umbreIIa! UmbreIIa? Daddy, no. Daddy, yes. All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. SpongeBob, what happened? - PIankton cheated. - Cheated? HoId on there, baIdy. Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickbaII on the pIayground? You never had a chance to defeat me, fooI. And you know why? Because you cheated? No, not because I cheated. Because I'm an eviI genius. And you're just a kid. A stupid kid. I guess you're right, PIankton. I am just a kid. Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kiII. And you know, I've been through a Iot in the past six days, five minutes, And if I've Iearned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are. - That's right. Okay, Neptune-- - And no amount of mermaid magic... ...or manageriaI promotion... ...or some other third thing... ...can make me anything more than what I reaIIy am inside: - A kid. - That's great. - Now, get back against the waII. - But that's okay. - What? What's going on? - Because I did what everyone said a kid couIdn't do. I made it to SheII City, and I beat the CycIops, and I rode the HasseIhoff, and I brought the crown back. - AII right, we get the point. - So, yeah, I'm a kid. And I'm aIso a goofbaII. And a wing nut. And a KnuckIehead McSpazatron! - What's going on here? - But most of aII, I'm... - Okay, settIe down. Take it easy. - I'm... I'm... What the scaIIop?! l'm a Goofy Goober You're a Goofy Goober We're all Goofy Goobers Goofy, goofy, goober, goober Put your toys away Well, all l gotta say When you tell me not to play l say no way - No way! - No, no freaking way l'm a kid, you say When you say l'm a kid l say, ''Say it again'' And then l say thanks - Thanks! - Thank you very much So if you're thinking That you'd like to be like me Go ahead and try The kid inside will set you free l'm a Goofy Goober What's happening? His dance moves are impressive, but I'm in controI. - Seize him! - All hail Plankton. I'm free. I've been freed! What? No! My precious heImets! His chops are too righteous. The heImets can't handIe this IeveI of rock 'n' roII. Karen, do something. Karen? AII right, that's the Iast straw. Neptune, I command you to... - Here you go, Daddy. - I better get out of here. Look, it's the wizard who saved us. Out of my way, fooIs. Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the heImets and the big monuments... Wasn't that hiIarious, everybody? I wiII destroy aII of you! WeII, Mindy, I have to admit, you were right. Your compassion for these sea creatures proved a most admirabIe trait. Without it, I wouId have never again seen my beIoved crown. I think you're going to make a fine ruIer of the sea one day. - Now, Iet's go home. - Daddy, haven't you forgotten something? What? Oh, yeah. Eugene Krabs, I forgot to unfreeze you. What the--? I guess I had it set to ''reaI boy'' ending. Oh, I'm sorry for faIseIy freezing you, Krabs. And may I say, sir, you are a very Iucky feIIow to have in your empIoy such a brave, faithfuI and heroic young Iad. - Where is he, anyway? - I'm up here. I'm on it. Go to him now, Krabs. Embrace him. SpongeBob, me boy, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. That's a mistake I won't make again. Oh, Mr. Krabs, you oId soft-serve. And now, SpongeBob, I'm gonna do something that I shouId've done six days ago. Mr. Squidward, front and centre, pIease. I think we aII know who rightfuIIy deserves to wear that manager pin. I couIdn't agree more, sir. Hooray for SpongeBob! Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it. I think I know what it is. After going on your Iife-changing journey, you now reaIize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you reaIIy wanted was inside you aII aIong. Are you crazy? I was just gonna teII you that your fIy is down. Manager! This is the greatest day of my Iife! ((OCEAN MAN))
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bro can u like bend over so i can insert tapeworms on the ridge of ur butthole like i think that would feel hella good for u
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what the fuck is wrong with you?? This is disgusting.
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I fap violently to teen pregnancy even harder to my former grade 9 student
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*Sigh*, it seems that you have met a horrible demise my friend. But uh, you know, these...these things happen and...and life...life goes on. N-not for you, obviously, uh, you're dead, but uh, it reminds me of a time I was having a conversation with my friend Orville. We were, uh, where were we? We were by the...the river, we were sitting by the river and watching the fish leap over the falls and uh, I said to Orville 'You know, sometimes I feel like a fish leaping over and over again, always trying to get somewhere. Though, I don't know where only to find myself in the jaws of a beast.' He, of course, looked at me surprised, you know? 'Have you been in the jaws of a beast, friend?' To which I said, 'No, of course not Orville'. I said, 'No no no, I...I simply meant that life can seem like a relentless endeavor to overcome meaningless obstacles, only to meet an equally meaningless fate regardless of your efforts, regardless of the obstacles you passed. And, uh, Orville he...he stood and proceeded to drape me with a picnic cloth, to which I...I asked him, I said, 'Friend, what...what are ya doin?' He looked at me very concerned really. 'I feel like you've gotten too much sun'. Indeed, heh, indeed I had. He proceeded to pour me a glass of just...ice cold lemonade. Ooh, you ever mix it with iced tea? Ya do, like...half lemonade ha...ooh, you should try it so--well, you can't, because you're dead, but, anyways, so you may be asking yourself, 'How did I go from sitting by the falls and drinking lemonade to being wedged in the air duct, not only with Orville, but with an entire assortment of fruity-colored friends?' Well, there's uh...there's really no good answer to that, but...perhaps I met a demise of my own at some point and...this is my afterlife or my dream or whatever it might mean, I...I honestly don't know. Or...maybe it doesn't mean anything at all. Maybe it doesn't mean anything at all...
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The curl-up test is used to measure abdominal muscular strength and endurance. The objective of the test is to complete as many curl-ups as possible, up to a maximum of seventy-five, to a set cadence. To administer the test, every two or three students will need a gym mat, a piece of paper, and a measuring strip.
The measuring strip may be made of cardboard, rubber, smooth wood, or any similar thin flat material, and should be thirty to thirty-five inches long. Two widths may be needed depending on the age of the student being tested. A three inch wide strip is used for students ages five to nine, and a four and a half inch strip is used for older students. An audio tape with the recorded cadence is also needed. The PACER test CD or tape contains a recorded cadence for the curl-up test.
Before beginning the test, have students select a partner. One student will perform the curl-ups, while her partner counts and watches for form errors. The student performing the test lies in a supine position on the mat, knees bent at a 140-degree angle, feet flat on the mat, legs slightly apart, arms straight and parallel to the trunk, with the palms of the hands resting on the mat. The fingers must be stretched out and the head is in contact with the mat.
Once the student performing the curl-ups assumes the correct position, her partner places the measuring strip on the mat under the legs, so that the fingertips are just resting on the nearest edge of the strip. The student then places a sheet of paper under her partner's head. The main role of the second person is to check for form corrections, and count the number of correctly completed curl-ups. Keeping heels in contact with the mat, the student performing the test slowly curls up, sliding her fingers across the measuring strip until the fingertips reach the other side, then curls back down until the head touches the sheet of paper. Movement should be slow and to a set cadence of one curl-up every three seconds. The test continues until the student can no longer continue, or has completed seventy-five curl-ups.
Additionally, this test can be completed with three students. One student performing the curl-up, one student at the head position who will be responsible for counting the number of curl-ups completed, and the other student at the feet of the performer. This student will be responsible for looking for any form breaks, and letting the counter and performer know when the test is completed. The student is stopped when the second form correction is made, or seventy-five curl-ups have been completed.
Here are a few suggestions for test administration: The student being tested should reposition if the body moves so that the head does not contact the mat at the appropriate spot or the measuring strip is out of position; Movement should start with a flattening of the lower back, followed by a slow curling of the upper spine; The hands should slide across the measuring strip until the fingertips reach the opposite side, and then return to the supine position; The movement is completed when the back of the head touches the sheet of paper; The cadence will encourage a steady, continuous movement done in the correct form.
Students should not reach with their arms and hands, but simply let the arms passively move along the floor in response to the action of the trunk and shoulders. Any jerking or reaching motion will cause the students to constantly move out of position. This curl-up protocol is quite different from the one-minute sit-up. Students will need to learn the correct form for this skill and be allowed time to practice.
Watch for the following form corrections: Heels must remain in contact with the mat; Head must return to the mat on each repetition; Pauses and rest periods are not allowed; The movement should be continous and with the cadence; Fingertips should touch the far side of the measuring strip.
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I Had my first baby at 10, she was born with cat ears and started speaking at four, her first word was "Kawaii" thats why this stamp reminds me of her.
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is it bad i cant tell if this is a joke
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FLEX TAPE® is a super strong, rubberized, waterproof tape that can patch, bond, seal and repair virtually everything!
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
City's breaking down on a camel's back
They just have to go ‘cause they don't know whack
So all you fill the streets, it's appealin' to see
You won't get out the county ‘cause you're bad and free
You got a new horizon, it's ephemeral style
A melancholy town where we never smile
And all I wanna hear is the message beep
My dreams, they gotta kiss it, 'cause I don't get sleep, no...
Windmill, windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sticking, falling down
Love forever, love is free
Let's turn forever, you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?
Laughing gas these hazmats, fast cats
Lining 'em up like ass cracks
Ladies, ponies at the track
It's my chocolate attack
Shoot, I'm steppin' in heart of this here (yeah)
Care Bear rappin' in heart of this here (yeah)
Watch me as I gravitate, hahahahaha
Yo, we gon' ghost town this Motown
With yo' sound, you in the blink
Gon' bite the dust, can't fight with us
With yo' sound you kill the inc
So don't stop, get it, get it (get it)
Until you're cheddar heavy
You watch the way I navigate, hahahahaha
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Windmill, windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sticking, falling down
Love forever, love is free
Let's turn forever, you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?
Don't stop, get it, get it
We are your captains in it (feel good)
Steady, watch me navigate, hahahahaha (feel good)
Don't stop, get it, get it
We are your captains in it (feel good)
Steady, watch me navigate, hahahahaha (feel good)
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it, feel good
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How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following my destiny.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be?
Well there's a principle of nature (principle of nature)
That almost every creature knows.
Called survival of the fittest (survival of the fittest)
And check it this is how it goes.
The animal that eats gotta scratch and fight and claw and bite and punch.
And the animal that doesn't, well the animal that doesn't winds up someone else's lu-lu-lu-lu-lunch (munch, munch, munch, munch, munch)
I'm just sayin'.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following my destiny.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be?
There's a principle in business (principle in business)
That everybody knows is sound.
It says the people with the money (people with the money)
Make this ever-loving world go 'round
So I'm biggering my company, I'm biggering my factory, I'm biggering my corporate sign.
Everybody out there, take care of yours and me? I'll take care. of. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. (shake that bottom line)
Let me hear you say 'smogulous smoke' (smogulous smoke)
Schloppity schlop (schloppity schlop)
Complain all you want, it's never ever, ever, ever gonna stop.
Come on how bad can I possibly be?
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just building an economy.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? Just look at me pettin' this puppy.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? A portion of proceeds goes to charity.
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Let's see.
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) All the customers are buying.
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And the money's multiplying.
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And the PR people are lying.
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And the lawyers are denying.
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) Who cares if a few trees are dying?
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) This is all so gratifying.
How bad.
How bad can this possibly be!?
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Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it."
First class, yo, this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm, this might be alright.
But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it."
– "Yo, home to Bel-Air."
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo home smell ya later."
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air
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People like us have such creative fetishes 0//0 :3
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degenerates like you belong on a creative cross
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were you high when you made this? hope you get better
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People like us have such creative fetishes 0//0 :3
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I thought it was something else then i rereaded again and i'm like
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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, a
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Hello, everybody. Thanks for coming. I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. And I'd like to say a few words, if you please. Regarding the story that you're about to see it actually happened. Just take it from me. But there's more to this story than what's on the page, so please pay attention while I set the stage. We open in Thneedville, a city they say that was plastic and fake, and they liked it that way! A town without nature, not one living tree. So, what happened to them? Cue the music! Let's see. Buzz. Buzz. In Thneedville, it's a brand new dawn With brand new cars and houses and lawns Here in Got-all-that-we-need-ville In Thneedville, we manufacture our trees Each one is made in factories And uses 96 batteries In Thneedville, the air's not so clean So we buy it fresh It comes out this machine! In Satisfaction's- guaranteed-ville In Thneedville, we don't want to know Where the smog and trash and chemicals go I just went swimming, and now I glow In Thneedville, we have fun year round We surf and snowboard right in town We thank the Lord for all we've got Including this brand new parking lot! Parking lot! Oh, look, it's Aloysius O'Hare Aloysius O'Hare The man who found a way to sell air And became a zillionaire Hip-hip-hooray! In Thneedville, we love living this way It's like living in paradise It's perfect! And that's how it will stay Oh, yeah! Here in Love-the-life-we-lead-ville Destined-to-succeed-ville We-are-all-agreed-ville We love it here in... Thneedville! Yes! Oh, hi, Ted. Oh, hey, Audrey. Hi. Did your ball land in my backyard again? What? No. A model airplane, this time. Hey, do you want to see something cool? Come on. Whoa! Did you... Did you paint this? Do you like it? What? Are you kidding? This is amazing! What are those? Those are trees. Real ones. They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk! Wow! What does that even mean? I know, right? Oh, yeah. What I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree growing in my backyard. So if, say... I'm just thinking out loud here. If a guy somehow got you one... I'd probably marry him on the spot. I bet that sounds crazy. Does that sound crazy? No! Not crazy. Not crazy at all. Ted, honey, don't play with your food. You, either, Mom. So, Mom, do you happen to know if there's any place where I could get a real tree? Ted, we already have a tree. It's the latest model. Yeah, but I mean a real one that grows out of the ground or whatever. You know, a real tree. Really? You would rather have some dirty, messy lump of wood that just sticks out of the ground? And it does what? I don't even know what it does. What's its purpose? Look at what we've got. It's the Oak-amatic. The only tree with its own remote. Summer, autumn, winter, and disco! Mom? Come on, Ted. Get into it. Dance with the tree. Oh, it hurts, Mom. Please stop. So, anyway... Let's just say I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do? Then you know what? You need to find the Once-ler. The what? Mom, it's not really the time for one of your magical fables, okay? That's right, I forgot. I'm old and can't even remember to put my teeth in. Stand down. That's not what I meant. No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me? Sure, Mom. Okay, here's the deal. The Once-ler is the man who knows what happened to the trees. You want one, you need to find him. The Once-ler? Mmm-hmm. Okay. Grammy, is this a real thing that we're talking about now? Oh, he's real all right. Well, where can I find him? Far outside of town where the grass never grows and the wind smells slow and sour when it blows. And no birds ever sing, excepting old crows. Quit doing that. That's the place where the Once-ler lives. Wait, outside of town? People used to say if you brought him 15 cents, a nail and the shell of a great, great, great grandfather snail, he would tell you everything. Hmm. Mr. O'Hare, what we've got for you is something that is going to take O'Hare Air to the next level. Now, Mr. O'Hare, I know what you're thinking. One, " I've gotten rich selling people air that's "fresher than the stinky stuff outside. " Two, and here is the important one, "How can I possibly make even more money?" We can tell you, sir! We can tell you. Check out this commercial, huh? Well, here goes another lame Saturday. Dude, I don't think so! Huh! Hey! Man! Oh, yeah! What! Yeah! O'Hare purified air. Freshness to go. Please breathe responsibly. Ah? Oh, my goodness. Yeah! Love it. You got to be kidding me. You really think people are stupid enough to buy this? Our research shows that if you put something in a plastic bottle, people will buy it. Exactly. And... And what's more, when we build a new factory to make the plastic bottles, the air quality is just going to get worse. Which will make people want our air even more, and drive sales where? Through the roof! So, in other words, the more smog in the sky, The more people will buy. See, that's why he's the genius! It even rhymes! I'm aware it rhymes. Coats. Big. What do you two knuckleheads want? I'm in the middle of a meeting! What? Why is he leaving town? No one ever leaves town! See what he's up to. Whoa! Huh? Whoa! Whoa. Oh, man. Whoa! All right. Okay. What the... Whoa! Who are you? Who are you and what are you doing here? I'm Ted. I'm Ted. I can't breathe. Are you the Once-ler? Oh, man. Didn't you read the signs? No one is supposed to come here. Get out of here and leave me alone! And don't let the boot hit you on the way out. The boot? Hello! Ow! Listen! People say that if someone brings you this stuff that you will tell them about trees. No, no, no! Trees? Yeah, real ones. You know, that grow out of the ground? Hello? Sorry, it's just... Well, I didn't think anyone still cared about trees. Well, that's me. The guy who still cares. I'm here. Hey! What? Do you want to know about trees? About what happened to them? Why they're all gone? It's because of me. Wait, what? It's because of me! And my invention, the Thneed. It was an amazing product that could do the job of a thousand. All right. Sounds ridiculous, but I mean, that's cool. You're darn right it was cool! It all started a long time ago. Can we start not so long ago, maybe? Do you want a tree? Yes, yes. Then it all started a long, long time ago. I was a young man leaving home. Well, here I go, Mom. Off to change the world with my Thneed. I'm actually doing it! Yes, but just remember, Oncie, if somehow your invention ends up a failure instead of a success, oh, it wouldn't surprise me at all! Nice wheels. Burn! Ow! Yeah, "Burn!" But you will see, okay? I'm going to prove you all wrong. Come on, Melvin! So, there I was at the very bottom. With nothing but a wagon, a mule, and a completely irrational sense of optimism. I was searching the globe, obsessed with finding the perfect material for my Thneed. But I'd had absolutely no success. Until one day, I found paradise. Oh! We're going to be there soon, I'm sure. Whoa! This is the most beautiful place, okay, I have ever seen. Oh. Ta-da! Whoa! Yeah This is it This is the place These Truffula trees are just what I need Gonna chop one down and make my Thneed But first... Now you! That's great! So now our friendship can begin Hand in hand, and wing and fin There's nothing you and I can't do So let's all make my dreams come true Hey, guys! Come on, where is my back-up chorus? What? Ah-ha! Oh. Ooh! Hey, hey, wait. Wait a minute. Excuse me? Yeah, that's awesome. Feeding junk food to forest animals? That's great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? Because I would love to hear that one. Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story, and was never heard from again. Right, got it. Proceed. All right, here we go. About to make a Thneed, about to change the world. Check it out, guys... Where did everybody go? Little did I know that by chopping down that tree I had just summoned a mystical creature as old as time itself. The legendary, slightly annoying guardian of the forest. The Lorax. Hey! Whoo! Did you chop down this tree? Uh... No. Who did it? What's that? I think he did it. Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your ax and get out! And who are you? I'm the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. So you're telling me, you just didn't see me magically appear out of that stump? With all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that? No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that? Uh, yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works. Okay. Um... Didn't really happen. Oh, I know what you want! I've got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw! Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy... How dare you! Give me that! Mmm. I'm going to eat this, but I am highly offended by it. What are you... Hey, Mustache! Will you stop that? What's your deal, man? Time for you to go, Beanpole! Pull them right out. Just going to put them right back in. We can do this all day. Stop right there! Stop it! So you would hammer one of nature's innocent creatures? What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground! Behold! The intruder and his violent ways. Shame on you. For shame! All right, you know what? That's it! You listen to me, you furry meatloaf. I'm going to chop down as many trees as I need. Okay? Newsflash! Not going anywhere! End of story. Then you leave me no choice. If you're not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned. Thanks. Yeah, okay. You have been warned. But I didn't listen to his warning. And you won't believe what happened that night. What? If you want to hear more, come back tomorrow. Hey, wait, wait! Tomorrow? Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho. Are you serious right now? Ah! You live in the middle of nowhere! It stinks out here. Don't make me come back! I guess you don't really want to hear the rest of the story. No, no. I do. I really do. I want to hear the story. I just... Nah! You don't have what it takes. Goodbye. Wait, wait! I have what it takes. It's all right. It's okay, I'll come back. It's no problem. See, here I am, leaving. Walking away now. I'll see you tomorrow. Mmm. Maybe. Just maybe. What did you wish for, Audrey? Well, I would love to tell you, but, sadly, according to the universal wish laws, I cannot. I know what she wished for. Was it, perhaps... This? Ted, you didn't. Oh, no. I totally did. Happy birthday, Audrey. Kiss him! Kiss him! Ted. Ted. Tedster. Huh! You're kissing the cereal again, hon. What? I just... I like this cereal. What one is this? Yeah! Okay. Well, I'll make sure to buy extra next time for you. All right, cool. Hey, I got to run. I got to go do a thing. So, I'll see you guys. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You're not going anywhere, young man. It's Sunday. You know what that means? Family time, and we're all playing board games! But... Hmm. Mmm? Oh, man. Mom, seriously, every turn? Hey, back off! Ooh! No. Okay! Family time is over. It is now personal time. I'll be in my room. Okay, dear. Have fun. I knew I could break her. Go. Huh? Go see him! Oh, yeah! You rule! Thank you, Grammy. Whoa! Hey! Ted, right? Um, Mr. O'Hare? So, I hear you have become interested in trees. What's that all about? Oh. Um... Where did you hear that? Oh. Teddy, there's not much that goes on in Thneedville that I don't know about. Here's the deal, I make a living selling fresh air to people. Trees? They make it for free. So, when I hear people talking about them, I consider it kind of a threat to my business. I don't even know what you're talking about. You listen to me, boy. Don't go poking around in things you don't understand or I'll be your worst nightmare. I'm Frankenstein's head on a spider's body! Yeah, um... Okay, my mom is expecting me. So, I'm just going to... Of course, of course. Now, go back to your family game time. Grandma just finished her turn. How did you know? Please. I have eyes everywhere. Huh! You got a beautiful town here, Ted. Lots of fun stuff to occupy your short attention span. Why, I can't think of any reason you would ever want to go outside of town again. Ever. Okay! Good talk. Really good talk. Oh, no. Look out! Hey, man? You know, you need to change that door bell. Oh, you missed me. What? You're already back. Clearly, you missed me a little. Right? No, I didn't. I'm just here to hear the end of the story. Why are you so interested in trees anyway? Why aren't you like other kids, break dancing and wearing bell-bottoms, and playing the Donkey Kongs? Yeah, right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it would be kind of cool to have one, you know? Huh? It's a girl, isn't it? What? No! Really? Because when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, it's usually to impress some girl. Hey, she is not some girl! She's a woman, in high school. And she loves trees. And I'm going to get her one. Aw! How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality. Thank you. All right, but where did we leave off? Now that's a Thneed. Nothing unmanly about knitting. No, sir. Look at that... Oh! Who taught you guys how to steal a bed? Shh! Okay, nice and easy. Nice work, you guys. Couldn't have done it without you. You got to be kidding me. Can he swim? Of course he can't swim! Hang on, Pipsqueak! I'm coming to get you! Hey, you fishies! Stop that bed! Whoo! Whoo! Jump, jump! Come on, get up there. Come on. Go, go! A little bit more! A little bit more! Now what? Mmm-mmm. Get up there. Okay, Pipsqueak, give me your hand. Come on, reach out for the Lorax. Where did you go? Bar-ba-loots. Oh, that's bad. Hey, Beanpole, wake up! What's happening? Where am I? Hey! We got trouble, and it's coming up fast! Whoo! We're in a river! Whew! Oh, no. Just do something! Help is on the way! No, no! Just a minute! Oh, no! Wake up! Wake up! Yuck! Clear! Ah! I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back and here I am! You saved my life! Yeah, I know. Well, no, it's not that big a deal. It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! Wait... On my bed. How did my bed get in the river? Uh... About that... Actually... I put your bed in the water. I didn't mean you any harm. I just wanted to calmly float you away. Look, everyone here needs the trees and you're chopping them down! So, we've got a big problem. All right, look. I hereby swear that I will never chop down another tree. I promise. Thank you. But I'm going to keep my eye on you. Good. Now, I've got a big day tomorrow so I'm going to get some sleep. Right after I find my bed. Ow! Okay, what are you... Question, what are they doing here? And follow up, if I may, what are you doing here? Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it. But when we got here, you were asleep. What? Ew! Exactly. And sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away. I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done. "No harm done"? "No harm done"? Okay. Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. Ew. Did you just... In my bowl! Why do you have one of these? You don't even have a mustache. Okay, that's it! What? I thought we made a deal last night. Yes, we did. And I said I wouldn't chop down any more trees. And I said I was going to keep an eye on you. I'm starving. What's for breakfast? Breakfast is overrated. You know what? I got work to do. Yeah. I got to go into town and sell my Thneed. You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage? Look at that... "Garbage"? Oh, no. Oh, no! You do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it. It has a million uses! Look at this. It's a swimsuit! Mud tracked all over your floor by uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that! But wait, there's more! Thanks to its all-natural microfibers, the Thneed is super-absorbent! It also works as a hat. Of course, you probably want to wring it out first. Go ahead, knock yourself out. But nobody is going to buy that thing. Good to know. Well, fortunately, you are not the target market, weirdo. You're bringing a guitar? Oh, yeah. I got a little jingle. I'm gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! Yeah. Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people... Sit down, go on. Unfortunately, I didn't sell it the first day. The Thneed is good The Thneed is great... Hey! Or the second day. Hey! Or the third, or fourth, or fifth day. Okay, that one hit the tender spot. Until finally... That's it! You know what? I'm done with this thing. Aw. My family was right. I quit! Hey. Cool hat. Oh, my gosh! I totally want one. That thing makes me like you more. Hey! Where's your Thneed, did you sell it? Hey. No, no. Didn't sell it. Turns out, it's ahead of its time, I guess. Hey, you gave it your best shot. Right? What more can you do? Come on, take a seat, we'll deal you in. What are we playing? I'm playing poker. He's playing Go Fish. And I think he's hungry. Oh. Pancake, the pancake Up! Who is up for ninths? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Whoa! All right, pass them over. Yeah, see? What's going on? Oh, no. That's a lot of people. Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people need The Thneed is good The Thneed is great Let's hope we're not too late It's a super trendy hat It's a tightrope for an acrobat A net for catching butterflies A thing we use for exercise Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people need Everybody needs a Thneed Oh, yeah! We're in business, baby! We need a Thneed Mom? Hey, it's me! I told you I was going to be a success! You need to bring the whole family here right now. We're going to be rich! What? I'm going to need all the help I can get. Don't worry. So, has he told you how to get a tree yet? Actually, no. But I think he's going to get to that part really soon. Here we are. What? I'll just be a minute. Oh, wow. Hey, Audrey! Oh, hi, Ted! What's up? You know me, just cruising. Putting out the vibe. Just me and my thoughts. Oh, is this the girl you're always talking about? Grandma! Stop making things up. She's even prettier than... Okay, got to run! Bye. Okay, Grammy, let's get you home! Yeah! Whoa! I'm so sorry. So sorry. Did not wanna see that. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! Hey! Hey, I'm back. What have you got there? Yes! Whoa! Thank you, Ted. Now, picture this. Sun shining, a blue sky, a perfect day. It was all downhill from there. Whoa! What a dump. Hey, Aunt Grizelda! Hey, Chet, check this out! Go long! No, Brett, that's actually not a... Okay. Go long! Go long! I got it! I got it! Got it! He totally ran into that tree! Ow! Oncie, is that you? Mom! There he is! There's my big, suddenly successful son! We always knew you would make it, Oncie. Right? Hey! I love this guy! But you always said I wouldn't amount to anything, remember? Hush your mouth. I was just trying to motivate you! I am really glad that you clarified that because it actually hurt my feelings for a really long time. Anyway, you're all here, you all work for me, and that's cool. So, let's get to work. Brett, Chet, set up the RV! Would you stop throwing that bear? Time out. Back up. Stop. Don't move an inch. Nobody's moving in here. You got to go. Goodbye. So, who invited the giant, furry peanut? You calling me a peanut, huh? I'll go right up your nose! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman. That's a woman? Okay. Everyone, cool it. Let's not get off on the wrong foot here. Um, family, this is my friend... Acquaintance. Yeah, acquaintance. Very good acquaintance, the Lorax. He speaks for the trees. That's right. And on behalf of the trees, get out! Will you just be nice! This is my family. And I'm going to need their help if my company is going to get bigger. Okay? Bigger? Yeah, this isn't some rinky-dink operation anymore. I got plans. Big plans! A vision of a world filled with Thneeds. It's going to be huge! Which way does a tree fall? Uh, down? A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean. I mean, look at this. It's amazing. I am so proud of me. Oncie, we've got us a little problem. Problem? Mmm-hmm. See, we're not making Thneeds fast enough. Harvesting the tufts takes too long! Well, what else can we do? Well, and this just came to me, we could always start chopping down the trees. What? Now you're thinking. That would speed things up! But... No "but" s, Oncie. You're running a business now. You have to do what's best for the company, and your momma. Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to chop down a few trees. You've made me so proud, Oncie. Come here! Hey! I love this guy! No! No, no, no! Stop it! Please, stop. Take that, you stupid tree! Where do you think you're going? Excuse me, sir. I need to talk with your boss. Oh, I'm sorry, but Mr. Once-ler's not seeing anyone right now. Yeah, well, he'll see me. So... Hey, keep your paws off me! Give me a reason, Shorty. Hey, you broke your promise. You're better than this. You gotta stop! This is bad! Have a nice day! Bad? I'm not bad, I'm the good guy here. He just doesn't get it. Do you think I'm bad? Thank you! I mean, something good finally happens to me, and he just has to come along and rain on my parade. What's his problem? See? Yeah, bad! Right. How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Well, there's a principle in nature Principle in nature That almost every creature knows Called survival of the fittest Survival of the fittest And check it, this is how it goes The animal that wins gotta scratch and fight And claw and bite and punch And the animal that doesn't Well, the animal that doesn't Winds up someone else's La-la-la-la lunch Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch I'm just sayin' How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? There's a principle in business Principle in business That everybody knows is sound It says the people with the money People with the money Make this ever-loving world go round So I'm biggering my company I'm biggering my factory I'm biggering my corporate sign Bigger, bigger! Everybody out there You take care of yours I'll take care of mine-mine-mine-mine-mine Shake that bottom line Let me hear you say Smogulous Smoke! Smogulous Smoke! Schloppity-Schlopp! Complain all you want It's never, ever, ever, ever gonna stop Stop! Come on, how bad can I possibly be? How bad can I be? I'm just building the economy How bad can I be? Just look at me petting this puppy How bad can I be? A portion of proceeds goes to charity How bad can I be? How bad could I possibly be? Let's see! All the customers are buying And the money's multiplying And the PR people are lying And the lawyers are denying Who cares if a few trees are dying? This is all so gratifying! How bad? How bad can this possibly be? So, how are things? What are you doing here? Happy yet? You fill that hole deep down inside you? Or do you still need more? Look, if you've got a problem with what I'm doing, why haven't you used your quote-unquote powers to stop me? I told you, that's not how it works. Right, I forgot. You're a fraud. I need you to get out. Now! Why? Do I make you uncomfortable? Remind you of the promises you made? The man you used to be? You know what? You can just shut your mustache. My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal. I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees into Thneeds. And nothing is going to stop me! Well, that's it. The very last one. That may stop you. Somebody sure made a bundle on that thing. I wonder what the next million dollar invention's going to be. Yeah, I wonder... Son, you have let me down. Brett, you are now my favorite child. Hey, look, I don't want any trouble. And you won't get any. Not from them. Thanks to you and your hacking, and smogging and glupping, they can't live here anymore. So, I'm sending them off. Hopefully, they'll be able to find a better place out there somewhere. Melvin? Melvin... Hey, Pipsqueak... Hey... So, this is really all your fault. You destroyed everything. Yes. And each day since the Lorax left, I've sat here regretting everything I've done, staring at that word, "unless," and wondering what it meant. But now I'm thinking... Well, maybe you're the reason the Lorax left that word there. Me? Why would he leave that for me? Because unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. The last Truffula seed. You need to plant it, Ted. Yeah, but, nobody cares about trees anymore. Then make them care. Plant the seed in the middle of town, where everyone can see. Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is, it's about what it can become. That's not just a seed, any more than you're just a boy. I won't let you down. I know. Hey, Audrey! Audrey! Ted? What are you doing? Meet me at my house. Wait, but... My house, okay? Got to plant the seed. Okay, we're going to need water. And uh, something to dig with. Um, what do I have... Ted? Mom, I'm busy, Mom. Theodore Wiggins, get down here right now, and I am not kidding with you! Ted, I would like you to meet Mr. O'Hare, the most powerful man in town. There he is! Hello, Ted. Uh... Hi. Isn't he clever, Mr. O'Hare? He knows his own name and everything. You know what I would love right now, Mrs. Wiggins? A delicious cookie. Wonderful. Teddy and I'll stay here and talk. Sure, why don't you go ahead and adopt him? I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I was just joking. I'll get your cookie. I know you have it, Ted. So, let's put an end to this nonsense, shall we? Hand it over. I'm sorry... I don't know what you're talking about. Really? Well, then... I guess you wouldn't mind us checking your room. No, no, no! Morty! McGurk! Find the seed! No, you can't go up there! Guys, this is ridiculous. Stop! Hey! No, you can't come in my room! Find it! Find it! What is going on here? This doesn't involve you! Get back downstairs! Excuse me, down there! I don't care who you are, you little crazy baby-man! Get out of my house now. This is outrageous. Fine. Sorry. Must have been a misunderstanding. We'll be leaving now. And my apologies, Ted. You be safe. Mind telling me what's going on here? The seed! Where is it? Seed? Where's Grammy? It's alive! I remember you. Ted, what... Audrey! Hey, did you want to... Well, okay! Ted, what is this about? It's about this. Wait, wait, wait. Is that... Yes. The last Truffula seed. And you're going to help me plant it right in the middle of town where everyone can see it. I could just kiss you right now! We don't have time for that. I don't know, we have a little time. But, you know what, let's just go. Let's go. Forget about it. Maniac! Hey! Ah! Here it comes! I'm going for it. Oh, hello! Ted, big scary blimp coming. Whoa! You won't get away with this, boy! Bam! Go faster, you idiot! Yeah! Step on it, Ted! Whoa! You're fired! Whoa! Ted, look out! Nobody beats Aloysius O... Ted... This is not good. How's it doing? Whoa-ho-ho! Loser! Oh, really? Oh, no. The seed! Get that seed! Hang on! Here we go! Grammy! Seriously, how cool is your grandma? No! Come on! Yeah, that's right. There it is! Hey! Watch the road, you meathead! Ah! Hey, ow, ow! Oh, come on! What the... Get it unstuck, get it unstuck! Bring it on, Teddy! You don't have the guts! Ted! Grammy! Whoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! It's Mr. O... Take that, shorty! Okay, we have to get this in the ground. But where? There's no dirt anywhere. No, Grammy... Hey, get out of there! Ah! Hey! What? See, what did I tell you? Easy. Huh? Hey, they broke O'Hare's head! What do you think you're doing, kid? Um, I'm looking for a place to plant a tree. A real one. Why would we need a tree? Exactly. Oh, man. Folks... The last thing you want around here is trees. They're filthy! Spewing that sticky, nasty sap all over the place. They bring poisonous ants and stinging bees. Hey! Ouch. Think about the kids. And, I just thought, you know, they make leaves! You know that, right? Then these leaves, they just fall. They just fall wherever they want! Come on! We know why you're really against trees. Because they produce fresh air. For free! Oh! I am wounded! You have lied! It is not a lie! It's called photosynthesis. Come on. She's making that up! That's a made-up word, people! Thneedville is perfect just the way it is. We don't need trees! That boy has a seed. We need to stop him! Who's with me? Come on! O'Hare is right! Seeds will ruin us all! Stop it! Last chance, kid. Hand it over! Where do you think you're going? Come on, let's go! Get in, get in! Hey! Stop that maniac! Excuse me, excuse me. Watch out! Ted, you're going to hit the wall! Yeah. I know. Wow. Did you see that? Who does this kid think he is, huh? I am Ted Wiggins. And I speak for the trees. And the fact is, things aren't perfect here in Thneedville. And they're only going to get worse, unless we do something about it, unless we change our ways. And we can start by planting this! Okay. Come on, now. Everything is fine. Right? I say we tell this kid what we think about that seed! People, come on! You! Get out there right now and get these people on my side, or else you're fired! Go on, tell them what you think. You don't know me, but my name's Cy I'm just the O'Hare delivery guy But it seems like trees might be worth a try So I say let it grow My name is Dan And my name's Rose Our son Wesley kind of glows And that's not good, so we suppose We should let it grow Let it grow, let it grow You can't reap what you don't sow Plant a seed inside the Earth Just one way to know its worth Let's celebrate the world's rebirth We say let it grow My name's Marie, and I am three! I would really like to see a tree I say let it grow I'm Grammy Norma I'm old, and I've got gray hair But I remember when trees were everywhere And no one had to pay for air So I say let it grow Let it grow, let it grow Like it did so long ago It is just one tiny seed But it's all we really need It's time to change the life we lead Time to let it grow My name's O'Hare, I'm one of you I live here in Thneedville, too The things you say just might be true It could be time to start anew And maybe change my point of view Nah! I say let it die! Let it die, let it die Let it shrivel up and... Come on, who's with me? Nobody. You greedy dirt-bag! Let it grow, let it grow Let the love inside you show Plant a seed inside the Earth Just one way to know its worth Let's celebrate the world's rebirth We say let it grow Let it grow, let it grow You can't reap what you don't sow It's just one tiny seed But it's all we really need It's time to banish all your greed Imagine Thneedville flowered and treed Let this be our solemn creed Thank you, Ted. We say let it grow In Thneedville We say let it grow It's a brand new dawn We say let it grow In Thneedville We say let it grow It's a brand new dawn You done good, Beanpole. You done good. By the way, nice mustache.
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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, a
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