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HennaFaunway — -Chapter 1 of New Draft-
Published: 2014-08-05 07:16:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 2789; Favourites: 63; Downloads: 77
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Description
I'd love to hear feedback! Thanks for your patience.--
writing, story (c) me
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Comments: 13
I would like to use this to teach myself how to properly write stories.
(So much for me peeking into daily life in Nazi Germany, out of sheer curiousity ... )
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I thought Nora was great in the story as she was before she was killed off at thirteen - but, again, this is your story, and I'm excited to see how it turns out.
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I really like it so far. Though to be honest I preferred the old title
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Thanks! And I'm still working with titles, but PS is probably not coming back
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Fair enough. May I ask why you decided to change the title?
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So much awesome. Sara's aunt as a member of some sort of underground resistance to help the Jews? Yes. Saul with a motercycle? Yes. Sara's father as the concierge of some rambling old inn in the hills? Yes. Sara as a crotchety old woman giving her doctor an earful? Yes. Also, I'm interested to see if the whole Nora's untimely death goes anywhere. Lots of potential with the "ghost of the older sister" angle.
The new setting is wonderful, Sara's personality is maturing beautifully, and overall I love the mix of new vs. old. The only thing I missed was Aunt Jo's perfume.
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Thanks so much!
- I definitely plan on fleshing out Nora's role in Sara's feeling of isolation from her mother!
- don't worry! Jo will get more description in upcoming chapters including her perfume; however, a lot of her personality has changed, and I think you guys will be surprised with the angle I'm taking for her
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This is so well-written! You have a great writing style
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