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hippo2 — The Masterpiece - Part 6B

Published: 2010-06-19 08:38:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 5388; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 0
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Description The next day, Hermione, Martha and Tony were sitting at Hermione’s place deciding their next steps. They would accompany him to Carlos and Stefania’s place and have a stern word with Carlo. Martha even boasted that she could be very intimidating. They were just about to leave, when the telephone rung. Hermione picked the receiver and answered the call. A few minutes later, she informed her friends: “I’m sorry, but I can’t go with you. My manager called and told me, that I have some new commissions for me. Now I have to stay at home and work.”

“You’re not serious!” Tony groaned. “This could be the most important moment in my life and you will let me down?”
Martha just shook her head.

“I can’t. I need the money!” Hermione explained.

“Alright!” replied Martha. “Then please let me do everything that is necessary to rescue Stefania.”

“Whatever you need to do, do it!” Hermione mumbled.

“Then it’s settled!” Tony said disappointedly. “Let’s go!” On the way to his car, he spoke to Martha. “You know, a few days ago, I’d be even more upset now. Lately, I don’t recognize her anymore. But I don’t mind anymore. All that counts for me now is Stefania.”

“Don’t worry about her. Let’s get Stefania back for you!” Martha replied as they drove off in Tonie's car.


About half an hour later, Martha stood in front of Carlo’s and Stefania’s door. Despite his protests, she had told Tony to wait in the car because she didn’t want him to find out she was a genie. Neither did he know this fact that Stefania had been a man. Seeing her performing magic now could only complicate everything. With a blink, she changed into her genie attire and knocked. Finally Carlo opened. When he faced Martha, his face turned white. “What… what do you want from me!” he stammered.

“All I want is Stefania. Where is she?” Martha demanded with a frightening voice.

“He… He’s in there. You can’t do that! You can’t force him to be a woman.” Carlo gathered all his strength to block Martha’s path.

“Let me pass! This is your last chance!” Martha threatened him.

“No way! I won’t give you Stephan, you evil witch!” Carlo replied in defiance.

Martha felt the anger rise and overwhelm her again. “Then I have no other choice.” she shouted. A shower of sparkle erupted from her finger and hit him. Carlos empty clothes collapsed into a heap. A small, slimy newt crawled out of the shirts collar. Martha gave the animal, which was Carlo just moments ago, a disgusted look. Then she rushed into the kitchen. Stefania was sitting on a chair. Her eyes were red from tears. “Martha!” she cried when she saw the genie.

“What did he do to you?” Martha asked

“He keeps me locked in here. Since yesterday, he tells me that I should snap out of it. That I’m a man. That I shall forget Tony!

“Calm down! I’m here with Tony to rescue you. You can go!”

Tony! Where is he?”

“Tony’s outside. Go to him!” Martha said. Stefania rushed out of the room. Martha followed her to the street, where Stefania was already kissing Tony passionately.

TO BE CONTINUED...

This is one variant of this chapter. I made a slightly different, second varitant: [link]

Part 1: [link]
Part 2: [link]
Part 3: [link]
Part 4: [link]
Part 5: [link]

Part 7: [link]
Part 8: [link]

This story is based on an idea by

Once more, I'd like to thank for the proof-reading.
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Comments: 9

morqwal [2010-06-23 04:06:27 +0000 UTC]

this is a very tf delicious piece. a power angle for the female jinn, it more emphasizes the lowered nature of the man. folded clothes on the ground are a powerful cliche, and with the angle and the brilliant line job, it is not trite. good composition, i'd like to see more like this.

the only thing i could see improving is making the mouth smaller on the jinn, which would give her a more feminine beauty look.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

hippo2 In reply to morqwal [2010-06-23 10:06:16 +0000 UTC]

Right! I have to work on her mouth. You're the second person during last week who pointed this out.

Thank you for the feedback.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

morqwal In reply to hippo2 [2010-06-23 15:29:41 +0000 UTC]

well, i hope it doesn't discourage you. ^^ just try to point out what you got right, and a little thing you could do better

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

hippo2 In reply to morqwal [2010-06-23 19:30:24 +0000 UTC]

Don't worry. I know where I have to improve now. Thank you for the feedback.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

morqwal In reply to hippo2 [2010-06-24 04:42:45 +0000 UTC]

^^. good luck art champ!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Agent505 [2010-06-19 15:15:22 +0000 UTC]

"She turned me into a newt!"

Looks around... man is a man, not a newt...

"Well?"

(shrugs)
"Got better."

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crazykattykid [2010-06-19 09:59:39 +0000 UTC]

your getting good at this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

hippo2 In reply to crazykattykid [2010-06-19 10:01:37 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

If you browse through the Martha series, you can see how my style developed.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

crazykattykid In reply to hippo2 [2010-06-19 10:09:55 +0000 UTC]

I hate to tear on my own thank you or compliment but your improvement is more of a statement then a compliment, keep up the good work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0