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IJKelly — TTB Heartache
#blood #drama #than #thicker #webcomic #whitefoxcub
Published: 2014-12-14 12:27:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 9416; Favourites: 283; Downloads: 0
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Description
This here is just a little example of the struggle I endured while getting through the first chapter of Thicker Than BloodFor a long time I refused to begin the artwork for TTB until I was ready, I'd started sculpting a style specifically for it but I was never happy enough with it. I know that style change is inevitable in a comic but I wanted to do my best.
One day I confided in a friend of mine and she gave me the worst advice anyone could ever give to an "OCD" perfectionist.
"You can always re-edit the pages."
This advice did not help me one bit. Of course I'm not blaming her, I blame my own damned brain! And it's tendency to over think.
I did finally begin the artwork but her words echoed forever in my head! I always told myself there was no excuse or reason not to go over the previous pages whenever I improved. I lost count of the times I redid the first 10 pages, and I experienced a lot of tears and frustration while doing so, and if it weren't for my family who convinced me to upload the comic, I wouldn't be illustrating the 2nd chapter right now.. I would be redrawing the entire 1st chapter, just as I'd completed the darn thing.
My perfectionism helps me to improve in art but it can also be a burden. I'm super hard on myself, at times it can become overwhelming Q n Q;;
You might be thinking to yourself "What's the big deal? It's just a comic." But it is more then that to me, it is a project I've been developing tirelessly since 2011, it has evolved in many ways since it's birth and it's something I plan to see through. The journey will be a long one, but I have an exciting story that I wish to share so I will not lose my strength! I don't mean to sound like I'm gloating, I just know the story will be pretty neat @ - @;;
And so, I just wanted to thank you guys for reading this story and what's been presented so far and I do hope you enjoy it! 
I'm sorry if I sound dramatic, I am just very passionate about what I do TT H TT To this day I despise the artwork for the first half of TTB chapter 1. I can barely stand to look at it @_ @;; But I must ignore my regret and keep moving onward! Your support certainly makes the effort more rewarding
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Comments: 36
Your newest is my favorite it's so unique
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Man your art is so awesome and it reminds me of yoshitaka amano in many ways its beautiful and believe me my friend and I feel the same exact way about Project Harmony its hard to not want to go back and revamp everything when you know you could do it better. However your art has evolved greatly. -J
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Your comic is an amazing work of art and I love it. I can see subtle changes to how it became what it is now and I would love to learn how you do the rough sketching to lineart in general.
It's hard for me to focus unless my brain really wants to (I can focus in general but with art I'm VERY impatient.) So far your style and the cartoon-ish style seems to work for me to work along with how I should be patient. Sadly I have Easy Paint Tool Sai and I think photoshop would really help me with coloring (unfortunately I don't know how to blend on it.)
I'm often told to take my time but when I do that, I lose a ton of energy very easily and I'm taken away on how yours is very simple and easy that you can get it done in not as much time as I thought! It looks so effortless yet it is a lot of effort in general!
Keep pursuing your dreams and I hope your comic comes out on a bookshelf one day as many volumes. I would definitely invest in your works to keep and any art books you make to learn from.
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It is really interesting to see how your style has evolved. I think each one has its merits, but the one you've developed to move forward with looks so beautiful and appropriate for the subject and presentation. I think it's perfect. It's really amazing that you've been able to explore such a range of styles! And it's not dramatic at all--I think this is something that many artists struggle with, so you aren't alone. I am glad you were able to come to a solution!
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y-you redid it 7 whole times?
wow (kisses u for your struggles)
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I think I understand what you're talking about, or can at least try to. I'm a perfectionist too, and I've always held back on starting an idea I've had for a comic. I have such a clear picture in my head, the art jus never lives up, the more I think about, the more I develop the more I want to change things... basically I get that frustration you can have with yourself.
But anyway, I remember following a comic, which was being produced for years, and I started following severeral months after it started. I read through a couple of chapters straight, and then waited like everyone else. But it was only after it had finished I was looking at different pages together I realised they style had really developed. I hadn't even NOTICED : ) That characters outfits and everything had really been changed.
When you change you improve, and the quality of storytelling and character development can only get better as well (not that your's isn't already gold). I feels good to have witnessed and artist develop, like looking back over old work, it gives you a sense of how long you've been interested in this, and how far you've followed a story.
So, I guess to sum that rambling up, don't worry about having every single page beautifully perfect, with an exact style, once people invest themselves in something they usually stay invested. You're at a level I dream about, and even though don't want you to feel unsatisfied with your work, it's kinda nice knowing people further on than me have similar issues.
Hope you can actually make sense of all that. : )
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I didn't quite know where to post it but I'll just do it here.
I think instead of worrying about the art style of your comic, you should probably focus more on the dynamic and presentation. Honestly the art is magnificent and maybe one of the prettiest comic I've ever seen, but I can't help but notice that it lacks something when viewing. And it's not the art, it's the tiny lines that suggest speed and movement etc. Right now it's 'just' beautiful to look at but lacks some dynamic and tension created by e.g. non-uniform canvas sizes or overlapping pictures.
Here are some examples how other artists do it. off-white.eu/comic/page-158/ tryinghuman.com/comic.php?id=4…
However I don't know many comic-makers. There are probably other people among your watchers who could suggest you good ones, if you needed more examples.
Either way I think your comic could benefit from these small things.
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I.. .. uh mm.. where these my words? or someone else before me? I can't remember clearly , but it would fit my way of thinking because I was redrawing my old comic pages many times while working on the new ones to keep them in (maybe not the one style) but the one quality.
I can udnerstand you do not like the old look of pages but.. meh, I reallly like them, and many ppl too, I am so so so sure.
and do not feel sorry for being passionate about your work, is something we should praise and support. Your progress is amazing and visible in every new art you are creating
and I believe already the story will be neat, for sure all characters seems to be, so it is worth reading for them too. I know the art style is important but it's usually nothing if the story is not captivating.
But truth be told your art style is for sure the first powerful magnet to give story a chance for people who do not know this project or you.
I feel so sorry for my comments whose are not even helping, or anything, I was always ambitious to be the best human I can be, and I am failling on the past years so many times it makes me feel torn apart, maybe that's why I am not commenting, I no longer know. I feel bad for saying only a nice things to ppl too because I am starting to feel that they consider me fake or too nice. I am a human with many many weaknesses.
I am so sorry for every time I made you feel bad/sad , I am terribly sorry.
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It's never "just" a comic/picture/writing!
It's a piece of art you put a piece of yourself into! Your time and heart-blood!
(People who don't do art probably will never understand...)
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It's a work you put your time and feelings into. It's something wholly original that matters so much to the creator that it becomes art. (Fanart imo is different but still it's a lot of effort an artist puts into it.)
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haha.. awesome! Dont worry same thing happens with me (OCD issues )..glad you put
this up ..its very relatable and HELPFUL !^^
Congratz on your comic, its truly amazing. Cant wait to read more
Good Luck for the future !!
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Lol! I am so glad you had the heart to post this. 
I tend to do this with everything I write or draw, and it is only lately I've been able to get past it by reading things like this or posts by Jason Brubaker about his own mental trials and tribulations making his comic 'Remind' (check it out).
I'm also listening to a screenwriting podcast from the Hollywood writer John August dealing with perfectionism (Episode 156 if you get the chance to listen).
I think the key is to remind yourself to enjoy the process and not worry about the outcome or opinions of a few critics. I'm sure you have a lot more stories in you beyond this! (This one is wonderful).
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THE CHANGES! AHHH!
As a comic maker myself, indeed, one of the biggest holes you can go into is wanting to go back after improving and redoing those pages. Do not, because there is a sense of FINISH and beauty in finishing and LEAVING it to be finished. That was your best at the time, and it is unfair to undo all of that now. It would take forever for you to even get to the end with that mindset! You artwork was good before. It is even cooler now. Never look back! Keep going!
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When I started reading the first pages of your comic, I had to pause and gawk at the pages because never in a million years would I ever see such an elegant and demanding (at least what it seems to me to be demanding, I mean LOOK AT IT! It's gorgeous!) style in a comic. I don't read webcomics or comics very often, as they just don't grab my attention and I'm not one to read comics anyway imo. So I was quite shocked to see that you've decided to create a comic knowing the sort of style you do and whatnot. That doesn't meant I DIDN'T like the idea. I love seeing your work, it's nothing like I've never seen before other than Amano's work from the Final Fantasy games. The story has intrigued me and your characters I cannot wait to see what their deal is.
I can understand the hesitation of starting something very well. For some time, I too have wanted to start a 'comic' of sorts to share the story that's been brewing in my head for years now. However, I'm nowhere near as good as anyone here, nor has my style developed where I want it be (whatever style that might be). I'm far too lazy and totally unmotivated to get better, but I can at least play with my little story as long as I want and continue tweaking things. I might even dare to say that I envy you for moving forward and getting your story worked on and shared for us to see.
Anyway, please continue on with your story! Don't let the previous pages (which you always clearly work so hard for) pull you down and slow you from making more pages. We are loving it! Thank you for sharing it with us as well! <3
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Wow! It's really interesting to see the different steps of your style developement *_* I like all of them!)
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You sound like an amazing person to me when I was reading your description. I can relate to some of those frustrations myself. I'm amazed at seeing your work and the passion you have to finish what you started. I am definitely excited to see the rest of what you do.
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Thank you for sharing your story and work! This background makes your story and art even cooler. Also, very nice improvement.
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There's something quite lovely about all these frames! I can definitely relate to your struggle for perfection- except you do something about it! Too often, I use it as a fear-based excuse to not even try/complete something in the first place.
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1 and 2 i like since they looks like animation frames. 3 throu 6 are amazing till this day (and its almost 2015) and the current one is breathtaking. So honored to have seen this progress throu the years i've known you.
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I know the feeling. Everything I've ever made looks terrible to me until like... 2 years later. Then it's finally okay-ish.
But you gotta just keep sharing otherwise you'll be stuck in the same place forever.
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Yeah, comics are a lot harder than most people give them credit for.
Personally, what helps for me is knowing that if I don't like how one frame turned out, I can always move onto the next.
As long as the frame gets the story across, it doesn't matter if it's not 100% perfect--just that it serves it's purpose.
Anyway, best of luck with Thicker than Blood!
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The japanese sogoi desu bishie is VERY strong in the last one! I say the people over there infected you with something. 6 H 6
Also, the first chapter is AWESOME! *smacks you lovingly* 9 H 9 Though if there is ONE thing I would point out that really gets me from all the changes so far... his lips really got more delicate over and over. ISSY! Don't try to make it hard for me to smooch him, because if I don't find his lips to kiss, then I certainly know where I can find his dic- *gets shot* alsdkfjalskdfhalskdjfsldfhsdf
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Wow.... I am glad you perfectionned your style and you're happy with it now! I like browsing your gallery because really NOBODY draws like you.
I get this "OCD perfectionist" thing! D: I had this at some point and I had to conciously start not giving a fudge sometimes. My teachers said I was perfectionist to an unhealthy level because small things could stress me greatly. It's stressy, felt like I'd never finish things D: began wondering... if it took me x number of months to get chapter 1 done, who long will finishing this take me? Damn... I should give up. Bye. But... things eventually turn fine
Happy that you're happy now and you are accepting the way you are (plz don't cry over it anymore! D: ) Really looking forward for the next chapters!
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Well I can more than stand to look at the first half of chapter one, if that's any help (I know it's not, but y'know). You are a true perfectionnist, and it shows in the attention to details in your work, but don't get too stressed over it. The style you've developped is elegant, unique and fits perfectly with your comic's settings in my opinion. Whatever you are doing, keep doing it (unless it's stressing. If you're stressing, stop it now) and don't think about how your style may change with time because it'll only get better if it does. Anyway, I might as well take this opportunity to thank you for all the inspiration and motivating me to strive for more quality and variation in my art. Now give a hug to this not-creepy-at-all-stranger!
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DANG. I knew you changed your style greatly but this is really neat. It's great to see how the steps went down!
And yeah, going through with something /knowing/ you're going to go back and change it later is a mood kill. Granted, it happens when you improve and you wanna replace older pages with your new skill so they're more updated but that's never the best advice to go by. It's like buying a product, knowing it has a short life and shrugging your shoulders saying "Well, I can always buy a new one" Because you shouldn't have too.
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I know just how you feel (though I usually abandon instead of redo forever). Wanting it to be perfect is a darn pain in the rump, isn't it?
You know what helped me? I was asked to do a webcomic as if drawn by one of the characters in the webocmic. A character that cannot draw worth beans but thinks he's awesome at it. I was terrified at first, but as I got into it, and drove myself nuts with ugly lines and a total lack of perspecive, I realized how cathartic it was to just go with it. …Not entirely sure if you can use that method, but I guess I'm saying it will get easier as you go. I also tell myself 'it's the best of my abilities right now. If in a year I look back on it and say 'uggg,' THEN I can think about re-editing' (to satisfy the 'it's not right!' part of my brain, and to keep the rest from going bonkers).
The style you finally chose looks amazing, though, take a deep breath and keep going. ^-^ Your story, both personal and artistic, has inspired me to start working on one of my comics again, too! And wait impatiently for the next page of yours. Or a book. You should totally make a book when you have enough pages (but not when you're 'done', or you might drive yourself insane 
…wow, I didn't mean to write an essay, sorry! ^-^;;
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Wow, your art is stylish and beautiful, and I really like your use of colours now. It makes Salvador's hair glow, literally.
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oh, but.. your work is really good and beautiful and all these styles look amazing!
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I'll make only one comment. The quality of the work and story sets it apart. This isn't a comic. This is actually a graphic novel and I'll be patient while waiting for more. Thanks for sharing such great artwork
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I love your drawing style, all of your artwork is breathtaking. and I am so in love with Thicker Than Blood.
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the effort you put into your art really shows, and it has so much personality, especially your comic. I'm so glad you were able to upload it, because it's been an absolute joy reading it, I love the story and I especially love the art. I can't wait to keep on reading it, I get so excited when a new page pops up in my messages (or just one of my many wanderings to your gallery haha), so good luck in continuing it <3
p.s. I usually lose interest very fast when reading comics, and yours is one of the only two that I've loved and wanted to keep on reading ; u ;
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