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Description
“Ugh… what happened?” groaned Link as he woke up. “Must’ve been that party last night.  Ooh, man, this can’t be good.  I feel sick and hungry at the same time…urfff!”  He literally made sick all over a three square foot area on the floor.  Thats when somebody spoke from the kitchen.
“Everything will be ok, honey” said a female voice.  Honey?  Link didn't remember getting married.  In fact, he didn't even remember having a girlfriend!  Very weird...
“Who's there?” asked Link.  Thats when a very beautiful woman, about Link's age, who looked very busy, entered the bedroom.
“Oh, just your new wife, Link” she said.  “And my name is Marrin.”  Link was flabbergasted.  MARRIED?!?  Was that what happened last night?  Link was thinking he needed to stop drinking.  Badly.  Well, he'd better get to know her.  Fast.
“W-when d-did we get m-m-married again?” Link stuttered.
“What, you forgot?  Ok, I'll give you a hint.  You had just defeated Famanoran.”
“L-last night?!  Ugh.  S-s-so, that was a marriage ritual?!”
“Yes.  Why, are your marriage ritual's different?”
“W-well, for one thing, there's a long process before marriage.  I'll explain.”  By the end, they had both laughed like mad-people, cried like baby's, and were beginning to fall in love.  Just then, there was a rapping at the door.
“I have a scroll here for a Mr. Stragget” said a voice on the other side.  Link answered the door, thanked the man, and came back.  He opened the scroll, read it through, and when he put it down, he was grinning ear to ear.
“Well, Marrin, looks like I've got another job.  Looks like one of Gannon's more powerful henchmen is terrorizing a small city.  If you wanna come, then pack up.”  When they were done packing, Link showed Marrin how to ride a horse.  Then they left.  On their way there, they passed through lots of small villages, constantly stopping for supplies on the way.  Finally, after about three day's time, they reached the walls of the city of Lachanohr.
“Here we are” said Link.  “The most delicious city I've been to.  They serve food's you couldn't passably even imagine.”  On their way to the gate, they thought they heard screams from the highest turret.  Very worrisome, that was.  There was a single female guard at the, oddly, open gate.  She looked new to the job.
“H-h-halt!” she said as she nervously got her attention.  “State your name and business.”
“I am link, the hero of time, come on orders of the her royal highness Zelda herself in all order to give my assistance against the threat to this fair city.  Tell your commander that I need a full and precise description of the situation at once.”  The guard looked dumbfounded, though she at once stumbled off toward her commanders post.
“Right this way, Marrin” said Link.  Inside the commanders tent(the city was partially destroyed, so they had to use a tent)there was a very musty, dead smell and what looked like what used to be a man, now half eaten by rats and the other half rotted away(except for most of the intestines, which the rats were also now nesting in). Marrin seemed to want to stay outside for a reason that Link apparently couldn't guess on his own.
“Welcome,” said the female commander, “to our humble abode.  I'm sorry I couldn't provide better quarters, but it seems that all of our men have been corrupted by a strange and powerful woman who calls herself Gannon's wife.  We have been forced to kill our own husbands, as you have already seen, in the case of my own husband, in order to get rid of this threat.  I'm open to any new suggestions.”  Link thought very hard.
“I'll need to ask my wife for help on this one, ma'am”said Link.
“You got married?!?” exclaimed the commander in a muse.  “Now THAT'S unexpected.  Hey, I mean who would expect you to ever even look at a girl other than Zelda, Malon, or Ruto.  I mean, you woul-”she was cut short.
“I heard that,” yelled Marrin, apparently angry.  Link went outside.
“I heard everything,”said Marrin.  “I'm not talking about the other girls.  Yet.  Although, I have an idea about how to set a sneak attack on the enemy without killing any men and keeping all of our people alive.  All we need to do is create a serum that will render all of the men, and only the men, unconscious.”  Link knew this wouldn't work all on its own.
“Yes, Marrin, but there also many other factors to consider, like the delivery system”
“I never thought about that,” she said, looking thoughtful.
“Thats why I propose that your serum be delivered by arrows with hollowed heads that will break on contact with stone.  I also think it will also work better if it turned into a gas when it comes in contact with air.  Then I believe,” he pointed at a wall on a map on the table they were at,” that a well placed bomb should break through this weak point immediately by the gates and the door should fall and we can just walk in.  but I wouldn't be surprised if they had a few traps inside, so I'll go in first to check for and disarm any traps that there may be.  Have you ever thought about becoming an alchemist?” asked Link.
“No,” said Marrin, “but thanks for the idea.”
“I'll be back,” said Link.  He went back into the tent.  Inside the tent, the commander was waiting.
“Ah, Link.  You're back.  Did you come up with a plan?” asked CMDR. Malastri.
“In fact I did,” said Link.  “I'll tell you all about it.  And I recommend you get your best alchemist's working on a sleeping potion right away, too.”

Three days later, Link was standing in the freshly cleaned tent.  Marrin and several other women were sleeping right where they were standing just a moment ago.
“It seems,” said Link,” that the final product is almost ready to be used on men.  Now to test it on me, Malastri.  I'm the only man you've got for testing.”  She nodded, backed up and threw the gold and blue swirling bottle at Link's feet.  A cloud of the same color engulfed Link.  Moments later, there was a thud on the floor.  Link was fast asleep.  Malastri smiled.  The potion worked.  It was high time to get ready to prepare for battle.  The next day, all of the people were well rested, armored, armed, and battle ready.  Link, Marrin, and Malastri were all standing in the front of the battalion.  Bombs were placed at the sides of the front gates of the castle. Link and Malastri had their bows ready, along with the majority of the company.  Link and Malastri raised their bows.
“READY BOWS!!” yelled Malastri.  “GAS ARROWS, AT THE READY!!”  the moment of truth was coming.  The potion had better work.  “AIM!!  FIRE!!”  Thousands of arrows filled the air, flying over the bailey walls.  Immediately after, thousands of men began falling asleep.  Link launched a fire arrow at the bombs.  Almost immediately, the bombs blew up.  The doors fell.  There was a sight of men, peacefully sleeping.  They all went in and took prisoners.
“Link,” said Marrin, “what about Gannon's wife?”  She was right.  What to do about Gannon's wife.  Link knew exactly what to do.
“Marrin,” said Link, “if I don't come back, then I want you to evacuate everybody.”  Marrin looked confused.  Then her eyes widened in fear.
“NO!!” said Marrin.  “You cant go!  Your needed here!  If you go alone, you'll die!”  She grabbed Link, sobbing.
“You forget,” broke in Malastri, “that Link defeated Gannon himself.  Now, thats not a very small feat.  Although, I recommend you go with him to make sure he doesn't die.”  Marrin got the idea.  Since she had become the best alchemist in the region, she needed to be the healer for Link.  Especially since she only did it within two days time.
“Ok,” said Marrin, drying her tears.  Link gave Marrin a dagger, so that she could protest herself.  Then they went off,  to the lords chamber.  When they got there, it seemed that they might never get in, for the doors were bricked shut.
“Well, Link,” started Marrin, “how do we get in?”  Now that was a puzzler.  They needed to get in so that they could kill Gannon's wife.  Or at least put her with her husband.  In Marrin's eyes, link saw the reflection of a tall pillar.  When he turned around, he saw dozens of bomb flowers at it's base.
“I've got an idea,” he said.  “Get back from the door!”  After careful calculating, Link lit one of them and quickly backed off.  BLAM!  There was a big crater in the side of the pillar facing the door, but it didn't fall.  Just then Link ran up to it and hit it with the megaton hammer.  It jumped back off of the base and started falling toward the door.
“TIMBER!!”  when the pillar hit the door, the door broke open.
“Link,” said Marrin, “how are we going to keep you from being seduced by Gannon's wife?”
“Marrin, I need you to figure that out.  I've got no idea” said Link.
“Oh!”exclaimed Marrin, “I know!  I'll watch you fight her, and when she tries to seduce you, I can quickly study her process and create a potion to immunize you against her seduction.”  Link thought this was a good idea.  It might just work.  There was just one problem.
“But Marrin,” said Link, “where are you going to get the materials to make the potion?”
“Just trust me,” said she.  So they climbed over the pile of rubble into the nobles chamber.  When they got in, they saw those who had been appointed by Gannon's wife as her body guards.  They were in battle ready positions.  But, instead of fighting them, Link merely dispatched them with sleeping potions.  Gannon's wife wasn't there.  They tied up the new prisoners and went the only other way that Gannon's wife could have gone.  Through the secret passage.  It was secret only for one reason: the danger.  Although, all they met was a few redead.  Then they began to catch up with the enemy.  When they caught up, all they met was a little old lady who couldn't even get up after falling down.
“Have you seen the woman who calls herself Gannon's wife,” asked Link.
“You idiot,” said she, “I am Gannon's wife, Brikita.”  Both Link and Marrin withdrew from the angry, warty face when she said that.
“Link,” said Marrin, “the fact that she turned  into an old lady in this place scares me.  Maybe this place really is haunted with the spirits of age.”  Link wasn't worried.  He had the moon pearl and was holding Marrin's hand, so that neither of them got old too fast.  The old lady knew she would not be able to get away in her current state, so she hatched a plan to strike back when she had left the tunnel and regained her strength.  It was rather easy getting back once they had her tied, for carrying her light body was like carrying a muddy stick, but cleaner.  When they got back though, they had a hard time deciding what to do with her.  Some people wanted to hang her, while others wanted to lock her up and throw away the keys.  Still others wanted to put her in a circus to make fun of the most easily defeated enemy of Link's adventures.  They should have hung her right away, though, for she almost immediately regained her strength upon arrival in the dungeon where she was to be kept for the rest of her life...

Description
“Ugh… what happened?” groaned Link as he woke up. “Must’ve been that party last night.  Ooh, man, this can’t be good.  I feel sick and hungry at the same time…urfff!”  He literally made sick all over a three square foot area on the floor.  Thats when somebody spoke from the kitchen.
“Everything will be ok, honey” said a female voice.  Honey?  Link didn't remember getting married.  In fact, he didn't even remember having a girlfriend!  Very weird...
“Who's there?” asked Link.  Thats when a very beautiful woman, about Link's age, who looked very busy, entered the bedroom.
“Oh, just your new wife, Link” she said.  “And my name is Marrin.”  Link was flabbergasted.  MARRIED?!?  Was that what happened last night?  Link was thinking he needed to stop drinking.  Badly.  Well, he'd better get to know her.  Fast.
“W-when d-did we get m-m-married again?” Link stuttered.
“What, you forgot?  Ok, I'll give you a hint.  You had just defeated Famanoran.”
“L-last night?!  Ugh.  S-s-so, that was a marriage ritual?!”
“Yes.  Why, are your marriage ritual's different?”
“W-well, for one thing, there's a long process before marriage.  I'll explain.”  By the end, they had both laughed like mad-people, cried like baby's, and were beginning to fall in love.  Just then, there was a rapping at the door.
“I have a scroll here for a Mr. Stragget” said a voice on the other side.  Link answered the door, thanked the man, and came back.  He opened the scroll, read it through, and when he put it down, he was grinning ear to ear.
“Well, Marrin, looks like I've got another job.  Looks like one of Gannon's more powerful henchmen is terrorizing a small city.  If you wanna come, then pack up.”  When they were done packing, Link showed Marrin how to ride a horse.  Then they left.  On their way there, they passed through lots of small villages, constantly stopping for supplies on the way.  Finally, after about three day's time, they reached the walls of the city of Lachanohr.
“Here we are” said Link.  “The most delicious city I've been to.  They serve food's you couldn't passably even imagine.”  On their way to the gate, they thought they heard screams from the highest turret.  Very worrisome, that was.  There was a single female guard at the, oddly, open gate.  She looked new to the job.
“H-h-halt!” she said as she nervously got her attention.  “State your name and business.”
“I am link, the hero of time, come on orders of the her royal highness Zelda herself in all order to give my assistance against the threat to this fair city.  Tell your commander that I need a full and precise description of the situation at once.”  The guard looked dumbfounded, though she at once stumbled off toward her commanders post.
“Right this way, Marrin” said Link.  Inside the commanders tent(the city was partially destroyed, so they had to use a tent)there was a very musty, dead smell and what looked like what used to be a man, now half eaten by rats and the other half rotted away(except for most of the intestines, which the rats were also now nesting in). Marrin seemed to want to stay outside for a reason that Link apparently couldn't guess on his own.
“Welcome,” said the female commander, “to our humble abode.  I'm sorry I couldn't provide better quarters, but it seems that all of our men have been corrupted by a strange and powerful woman who calls herself Gannon's wife.  We have been forced to kill our own husbands, as you have already seen, in the case of my own husband, in order to get rid of this threat.  I'm open to any new suggestions.”  Link thought very hard.
“I'll need to ask my wife for help on this one, ma'am”said Link.
“You got married?!?” exclaimed the commander in a muse.  “Now THAT'S unexpected.  Hey, I mean who would expect you to ever even look at a girl other than Zelda, Malon, or Ruto.  I mean, you woul-”she was cut short.
“I heard that,” yelled Marrin, apparently angry.  Link went outside.
“I heard everything,”said Marrin.  “I'm not talking about the other girls.  Yet.  Although, I have an idea about how to set a sneak attack on the enemy without killing any men and keeping all of our people alive.  All we need to do is create a serum that will render all of the men, and only the men, unconscious.”  Link knew this wouldn't work all on its own.
“Yes, Marrin, but there also many other factors to consider, like the delivery system”
“I never thought about that,” she said, looking thoughtful.
“Thats why I propose that your serum be delivered by arrows with hollowed heads that will break on contact with stone.  I also think it will also work better if it turned into a gas when it comes in contact with air.  Then I believe,” he pointed at a wall on a map on the table they were at,” that a well placed bomb should break through this weak point immediately by the gates and the door should fall and we can just walk in.  but I wouldn't be surprised if they had a few traps inside, so I'll go in first to check for and disarm any traps that there may be.  Have you ever thought about becoming an alchemist?” asked Link.
“No,” said Marrin, “but thanks for the idea.”
“I'll be back,” said Link.  He went back into the tent.  Inside the tent, the commander was waiting.
“Ah, Link.  You're back.  Did you come up with a plan?” asked CMDR. Malastri.
“In fact I did,” said Link.  “I'll tell you all about it.  And I recommend you get your best alchemist's working on a sleeping potion right away, too.”

Three days later, Link was standing in the freshly cleaned tent.  Marrin and several other women were sleeping right where they were standing just a moment ago.
“It seems,” said Link,” that the final product is almost ready to be used on men.  Now to test it on me, Malastri.  I'm the only man you've got for testing.”  She nodded, backed up and threw the gold and blue swirling bottle at Link's feet.  A cloud of the same color engulfed Link.  Moments later, there was a thud on the floor.  Link was fast asleep.  Malastri smiled.  The potion worked.  It was high time to get ready to prepare for battle.  The next day, all of the people were well rested, armored, armed, and battle ready.  Link, Marrin, and Malastri were all standing in the front of the battalion.  Bombs were placed at the sides of the front gates of the castle. Link and Malastri had their bows ready, along with the majority of the company.  Link and Malastri raised their bows.
“READY BOWS!!” yelled Malastri.  “GAS ARROWS, AT THE READY!!”  the moment of truth was coming.  The potion had better work.  “AIM!!  FIRE!!”  Thousands of arrows filled the air, flying over the bailey walls.  Immediately after, thousands of men began falling asleep.  Link launched a fire arrow at the bombs.  Almost immediately, the bombs blew up.  The doors fell.  There was a sight of men, peacefully sleeping.  They all went in and took prisoners.
“Link,” said Marrin, “what about Gannon's wife?”  She was right.  What to do about Gannon's wife.  Link knew exactly what to do.
“Marrin,” said Link, “if I don't come back, then I want you to evacuate everybody.”  Marrin looked confused.  Then her eyes widened in fear.
“NO!!” said Marrin.  “You cant go!  Your needed here!  If you go alone, you'll die!”  She grabbed Link, sobbing.
“You forget,” broke in Malastri, “that Link defeated Gannon himself.  Now, thats not a very small feat.  Although, I recommend you go with him to make sure he doesn't die.”  Marrin got the idea.  Since she had become the best alchemist in the region, she needed to be the healer for Link.  Especially since she only did it within two days time.
“Ok,” said Marrin, drying her tears.  Link gave Marrin a dagger, so that she could protest herself.  Then they went off,  to the lords chamber.  When they got there, it seemed that they might never get in, for the doors were bricked shut.
“Well, Link,” started Marrin, “how do we get in?”  Now that was a puzzler.  They needed to get in so that they could kill Gannon's wife.  Or at least put her with her husband.  In Marrin's eyes, link saw the reflection of a tall pillar.  When he turned around, he saw dozens of bomb flowers at it's base.
“I've got an idea,” he said.  “Get back from the door!”  After careful calculating, Link lit one of them and quickly backed off.  BLAM!  There was a big crater in the side of the pillar facing the door, but it didn't fall.  Just then Link ran up to it and hit it with the megaton hammer.  It jumped back off of the base and started falling toward the door.
“TIMBER!!”  when the pillar hit the door, the door broke open.
“Link,” said Marrin, “how are we going to keep you from being seduced by Gannon's wife?”
“Marrin, I need you to figure that out.  I've got no idea” said Link.
“Oh!”exclaimed Marrin, “I know!  I'll watch you fight her, and when she tries to seduce you, I can quickly study her process and create a potion to immunize you against her seduction.”  Link thought this was a good idea.  It might just work.  There was just one problem.
“But Marrin,” said Link, “where are you going to get the materials to make the potion?”
“Just trust me,” said she.  So they climbed over the pile of rubble into the nobles chamber.  When they got in, they saw those who had been appointed by Gannon's wife as her body guards.  They were in battle ready positions.  But, instead of fighting them, Link merely dispatched them with sleeping potions.  Gannon's wife wasn't there.  They tied up the new prisoners and went the only other way that Gannon's wife could have gone.  Through the secret passage.  It was secret only for one reason: the danger.  Although, all they met was a few redead.  Then they began to catch up with the enemy.  When they caught up, all they met was a little old lady who couldn't even get up after falling down.
“Have you seen the woman who calls herself Gannon's wife,” asked Link.
“You idiot,” said she, “I am Gannon's wife, Brikita.”  Both Link and Marrin withdrew from the angry, warty face when she said that.
“Link,” said Marrin, “the fact that she turned  into an old lady in this place scares me.  Maybe this place really is haunted with the spirits of age.”  Link wasn't worried.  He had the moon pearl and was holding Marrin's hand, so that neither of them got old too fast.  The old lady knew she would not be able to get away in her current state, so she hatched a plan to strike back when she had left the tunnel and regained her strength.  It was rather easy getting back once they had her tied, for carrying her light body was like carrying a muddy stick, but cleaner.  When they got back though, they had a hard time deciding what to do with her.  Some people wanted to hang her, while others wanted to lock her up and throw away the keys.  Still others wanted to put her in a circus to make fun of the most easily defeated enemy of Link's adventures.  They should have hung her right away, though, for she almost immediately regained her strength upon arrival in the dungeon where she was to be kept for the rest of her life...