Comments: 16
ultimac [2005-08-11 19:09:17 +0000 UTC]
awesome imagery, i like theis part, but i think u also spelt it wrong too.. heh:
Remnants of a bridge once travelled,
lay half barried amongs the sand.
do u mean buried? but i think you should change "lay" to "now" and "amongst" to "in", like this:
Remnants of a bridge once travelled,
now half buried in the sand.
anyway, i liked the poem, keep them coming mate
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Infernodragon In reply to ultimac [2005-08-16 03:51:28 +0000 UTC]
thanks man. and yes i did mean burried. i got distracted and wrote the wrong thing there. also i didnt check it for spelling. and the suggestions you made i like them. they are good. it makes it come together better. i had a tough time with that specific stansa and you gave great suggestions on how to make it better. thanks man.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ultimac In reply to Infernodragon [2005-08-16 16:18:08 +0000 UTC]
no probs mate, i can see how u would have too.. keep at it mate
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sweettart696 [2005-08-05 15:09:21 +0000 UTC]
that is really good. ru liking it there
👍: 0 ⏩: 1