HOME | DD
itsaki — Across The Starry Sky
Published: 2010-01-16 04:24:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 496; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description
Atop the starry falls I make my home,To look across and see the shim'ring sea,
And here, this barren world, my soul shall roam.
I tried, I did, but now my heart must comb
this world I love to find where you may be.
And then I'll jump, I'll soar away from home.
But now I look below at frothing foam,
Where water seethes against the cliffs, so free.
I'll join the world of men beneath the loam.
With you my heart would write an endless tome,
that spoke of love and beauty, you and me,
vaster than the arms of mighty Rome.
But now the water deep shall be my home,
far below I call the endless sea,
To take me in beneath its hissing foam.
For under this vast glinting starry dome
of sky that watches over you and me,
your soul was claimed, too early it shall roam.
This starry night we both will now call home.
Related content
Comments: 19
I really like this one, although the stanza's are a bit off. The last two lines should be the same as the first and last line in the first stanza. And the last line of each stanza should be either the first or last line of the first stanza.
I really do like this one, your wording is beautiful. You are an excellent poet. ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Not the way I read it...This poem and my other villanelles are complete form copies of the example I read. Not the poem itself, but the rhyming and the alternating last lines.
But thank you very much ^_^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
This is incredible, very powerful, imaginative work, well done my friend...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you very much! much appreciated ^_^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Really, really awesome. I love this. I always love when people actually bother with meter, it seems like a lost art these days.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you very much ^^
And I've noticed the same thing. I try adding a rhythm when I read a poem, but none of the poems nowadays have a rhythm or a meter, so I've stopped reading poetry. But I'm glad you appreciate the meter (iambic pentameter, I've fallen in love with it ^_^)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I wouldn't go so far as to say I don't read poetry that doesn't have meter, but I'm annoyed by poetry that doesn't sound good. Learning meter is excellent even if you write free-verse (like I do most of the time) because it gives you a feel for how things flow. Modern poetry has a lot less focus on the sound and flow of words, and I don't think it's a coincidence that it's less popular with non-writers than poetry was "back in the day."
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I will read poetry if it sounds good, and poetry with a rhythm sounds good. I will read few other poems. But it still happens. And it's easier to write without a meter, and so people nowadays just want it to be easy, then they think they're poets. It does get frustrating sometimes...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Your english class should challenge you more often. It gets some really interesting pieces out of you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
^_^ the one about war was the one I wrote first. but I'm glad I was challenged, Villanelles are fun
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
