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Description
it is hard to get used to
grandpa, without grandma.
(but i did,
and oh how it
hurts.)

it is hard to get used to
him living along.
(it's expected now,
and it no longer
takes me by surprise.)

-

they say time heals all wounds
and unfortunately
that's not true.

(nevermind the fact
it doesn't hurt as much,
as if absence, has an
expiration date, and you
just get used to it.

nevermind that guilt
when you realize you are
used to it, when you realize
you don't lay in bed,
crying. when you realize,
you had to force the tears,
so you could cry out the
guilt.)

-

it used to be odd
to talk about her in past tense.
(was it ever really, though?
i think i adapted far too well,
even though i loved her,
i love her so much.
can you love a ghost,
or a memory of one?)

i wonder if
by being strong,
for all of them,
i erased my own capability
to be weak.

(it would be nice to feel the pain
again. it would be nice to know
i am not heartless.)

-

i don't remember it as well anymore,
and i stopped going over her hugs,
just so i never forget.

the worst was seeing them cry,
and i think it was because i knew
(i knew, i knew, i knew)
she was gone before she took her last
breath.

does it make me heartless,
to care more about the living,
than the dead and gone?

Description
it is hard to get used to
grandpa, without grandma.
(but i did,
and oh how it
hurts.)

it is hard to get used to
him living along.
(it's expected now,
and it no longer
takes me by surprise.)

-

they say time heals all wounds
and unfortunately
that's not true.

(nevermind the fact
it doesn't hurt as much,
as if absence, has an
expiration date, and you
just get used to it.

nevermind that guilt
when you realize you are
used to it, when you realize
you don't lay in bed,
crying. when you realize,
you had to force the tears,
so you could cry out the
guilt.)

-

it used to be odd
to talk about her in past tense.
(was it ever really, though?
i think i adapted far too well,
even though i loved her,
i love her so much.
can you love a ghost,
or a memory of one?)

i wonder if
by being strong,
for all of them,
i erased my own capability
to be weak.

(it would be nice to feel the pain
again. it would be nice to know
i am not heartless.)

-

i don't remember it as well anymore,
and i stopped going over her hugs,
just so i never forget.

the worst was seeing them cry,
and i think it was because i knew
(i knew, i knew, i knew)
she was gone before she took her last
breath.

does it make me heartless,
to care more about the living,
than the dead and gone?