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JFGemini107 — Return to the Palace Bath
Published: 2013-05-02 13:23:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 1349; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 0
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Description
Yeah yeah another remake, but I'm really busy in real life.A lot of changed in this one. The original version was very sloppy in shapes and stuff. The only thing that didn't change was the tile floor around the pool.
Here's the original version.
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Comments: 4
I will give this a try, but bear with me here, I have never written a critique on dA before and I'm mostly just going to contrast this piece with the original version.
First off, the lighting of the original piece is more dynamic and fits more to the scene of a sunset seen out the window. I am of course, assuming here that it is a window and not a set of paintings. As the bath is inside, it is believable for an inside space to have bright lighting but the tile floor around the bath suggests the light source may be the bath itself. The shadow of the beam that runs along the back wall, in contrast, suggests that the light source is somewhere above the characters but their respective shadowing, as well as the tile floor, conflict with that being the light source.
The character who is sitting on the edge of the bath also appears to be too brightly lit, as I can find no discernible source of light for the difference between him and the others. Additionally, he appears to be staring off into empty space instead of looking in the direction of any of the others, although I am not sure if this is for a particular reason.
The composition of the original piece flows much better in comparison to this one, although it appears the focus was more on the background with this piece.
On the little details between the two: The water looks more natural in the newer version as compared to the older one, and the fountain part of the bath is much more aesthetically appealing as well. The fountain's new shape also fits much better to the angular shape of the bath itself in comparison to the older version which was a circular shape. On a last note of little things, your avatar has a hover hand (his left hand) but I understand the painstaking process of posing 3D models all too well. It however does stick out rather awkwardly in the overall image.
Overall, the improvement is noticeable from the original but there are a few things that the original conveys in a better fashion as an artwork. Also I would keep in mind that I am by no means any expert on anything, but I hope this critique will be helpful in someway to you at least.
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Thanks for the critique. I know lighting is still one of those things I really suck at. As for the poses, I wanted to try and keep the poses similar to the original ones, and even then, Casey's (the guy on the edge) was semi looking off. I still think the original might have better lighting than the remake, but it felt really cluttered with the shadows going every-which-way. That's why I didn't have shadows in this one as much.
It was really tough to get my avatar's hand on Skyler's chest without distorting it too much (or getting it through Skyler which is even worse). On a side note, I was going to make the remake take place during the day, but I decided against it.
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You're welcome.
Lighting is a difficult thing in any art form and it's not something you learn overnight (if only!). With the note of it seeming cluttered in the original, in this kind of a scene that involves water, it would definitely look cluttered with unusual spots of light and dark because of the reflected light. The overall look of the shadows in the new piece blend together much better than in the original, though.
I figured that distortion was the main problem that came up that caused that hand to sit there instead of on Skyler's chest so I tried to not take it into account in the overall scheme of the whole thing.
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