HOME | DD

Description

Summary: A Daria drabble. Amy’s introduction, set in a world where nobody can lie.
"Wow, who's that?" Quinn wondered as a flashy red sports car drove up to the hotel.
Daria blinked. "Aunt Amy?"
The woman got out of the car, passing her keys to the valet. "I don't mind a few dents, but change the radio station and you're a dead man. ...Well, not really," she added as the young man slipped into the front seat, "but I like to say otherwise so I sound insouciant and witty."
He drove off. Amy turned and walked up the front steps, smirking slightly at her befuddled family.
"Amy! How uncomfortable," Rita said as she stepped forward to greet her. "I thought you weren't coming."
"I wasn't," she said, motioning to Helen, "but I thought if you two could try to put aside years of bitterness and resentment, then I better show up to repeatedly open all the old wounds you're trying to close. Plus, making you shell out for an extra meal at the last minute is a great passive-aggressive strategy against you and Mom."
"Oh, Amy! And you wonder why neither of us likes you," Helen said.
"I choose to ignore your presence as I continue to insult you." Amy turned to her brother-in-law. "So, Jake. You're still with Helen, huh?"
"Well, that's pretty obvious—"
"Shows remarkable fortitude inconsistent with the rest of your personality. Really, you didn't think I cared about an answer, did you?" She turned. "And Roger. How's the skydiving going?"
Helen stepped forward. "Amy, I have to interrupt your rudeness to point out that Roger passed away, which you would probably know if you took an interest in the life of anyone else in our family. This is Paul."
"Oh, sorry. Well...not really, because I didn't know Roger and the idea that his death might have been hard on Rita doesn't really faze me. Though I am disappointed that I won't be able to use all those skydiving jokes I came up with on the way here." She shook Paul's hand. "Paul, how do you do?"
He looked around. "I'm not sure who Roger was, but all this talk about him makes me extremely uncomfortable."
"It's a family reunion. We're all extremely uncomfortable," Daria said.
"True, though making everybody else uncomfortable at least makes me feel better about it." Amy paused, giving Daria a look. "That was a nice, tactless quip. I know I never really bothered to keep in contact with you before—I honestly can't even remember your age—but I like the way you think, Daria. I think I'll enjoy poisoning you against your mother some time before the day is out. Well, I'm bored of talking to you people now."
She started to head into the hotel; Rita chased after her with Paul in tow. "Now, Amy, I don't know where we're going to seat you—"
"I don't really care, as long as doing so makes things more difficult for you on this already-hectic occasion."
"I'm off to get wasted before this disaster starts," Helen growled, stalking in after them.
"...I'm scared," Jake muttered as he followed.
The Morgendorffer sist ers watched them walk inside. "Wow, Aunt Amy's kind of a bitch," Quinn observed.
"...Yeah," Daria agreed, as rolling black storm clouds began to thunder behind them.

Description

Summary: A Daria drabble. Amy’s introduction, set in a world where nobody can lie.
"Wow, who's that?" Quinn wondered as a flashy red sports car drove up to the hotel.
Daria blinked. "Aunt Amy?"
The woman got out of the car, passing her keys to the valet. "I don't mind a few dents, but change the radio station and you're a dead man. ...Well, not really," she added as the young man slipped into the front seat, "but I like to say otherwise so I sound insouciant and witty."
He drove off. Amy turned and walked up the front steps, smirking slightly at her befuddled family.
"Amy! How uncomfortable," Rita said as she stepped forward to greet her. "I thought you weren't coming."
"I wasn't," she said, motioning to Helen, "but I thought if you two could try to put aside years of bitterness and resentment, then I better show up to repeatedly open all the old wounds you're trying to close. Plus, making you shell out for an extra meal at the last minute is a great passive-aggressive strategy against you and Mom."
"Oh, Amy! And you wonder why neither of us likes you," Helen said.
"I choose to ignore your presence as I continue to insult you." Amy turned to her brother-in-law. "So, Jake. You're still with Helen, huh?"
"Well, that's pretty obvious—"
"Shows remarkable fortitude inconsistent with the rest of your personality. Really, you didn't think I cared about an answer, did you?" She turned. "And Roger. How's the skydiving going?"
Helen stepped forward. "Amy, I have to interrupt your rudeness to point out that Roger passed away, which you would probably know if you took an interest in the life of anyone else in our family. This is Paul."
"Oh, sorry. Well...not really, because I didn't know Roger and the idea that his death might have been hard on Rita doesn't really faze me. Though I am disappointed that I won't be able to use all those skydiving jokes I came up with on the way here." She shook Paul's hand. "Paul, how do you do?"
He looked around. "I'm not sure who Roger was, but all this talk about him makes me extremely uncomfortable."
"It's a family reunion. We're all extremely uncomfortable," Daria said.
"True, though making everybody else uncomfortable at least makes me feel better about it." Amy paused, giving Daria a look. "That was a nice, tactless quip. I know I never really bothered to keep in contact with you before—I honestly can't even remember your age—but I like the way you think, Daria. I think I'll enjoy poisoning you against your mother some time before the day is out. Well, I'm bored of talking to you people now."
She started to head into the hotel; Rita chased after her with Paul in tow. "Now, Amy, I don't know where we're going to seat you—"
"I don't really care, as long as doing so makes things more difficult for you on this already-hectic occasion."
"I'm off to get wasted before this disaster starts," Helen growled, stalking in after them.
"...I'm scared," Jake muttered as he followed.
The Morgendorffer sist ers watched them walk inside. "Wow, Aunt Amy's kind of a bitch," Quinn observed.
"...Yeah," Daria agreed, as rolling black storm clouds began to thunder behind them.