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KayVeeDee — HL - Guilt

#hl #literature #pokemon #pkmnart #gorebyssgijinka #harvestlunatone #carvanhagijinka
Published: 2018-05-08 00:54:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 1312; Favourites: 81; Downloads: 6
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Description So this is what guilt feels like.

 

It had been weighing on her - the memory of the last brutal interrogation, the strained confessions and her mother’s satisfied embrace upon hearing what she wanted. The Alomomola’s changes in manner so frequent that it was almost predictable enough not to be a vagary of character anymore. Isabel wouldn’t have said anything if she wasn’t so sure that the consequences for for not speaking would be dangerous. She couldn’t stand the thought of Ludmi not approving. She wasn’t the favorite child for the bulk of her childhood by any means- no. She was the favorite now because Ludmi’s golden boy had betrayed her. But Isabel was satisfied. This is what it felt like to be loved by her mother. It was delightful. 

She almost couldn’t believe she was going to throw it away for the Golden Boy, a man she had known only for a year. By all accounts a good man. But Isabel felt safer vying for the approval of her brother than she did the approval of her mother. He was forgiving, measured. He wouldn’t change moods with every bit of news that came to him. 

Isabel knew he hated their mother. And she knew that their mother hated him. So she didn’t question her motives too much when she snuck into his grotto to wait for his arrival from work until the very moment she could hear him, and the sound sent her into a somewhat blind panic. She didn’t have a plan! She didn’t know how to say what she did, how she cracked under pressure - Ezequiel, for his calm, would never understand wanting the approval of that woman. 

Maybe he would understand fear of her? Is that an angle she could use? 

“Who’s there?” The carvanha barked (in a somewhat underwhelming way), wielding a bit of broken glass as a weapon before he peered into the grotto and let out a heavy sigh, putting the glass into the trashbag he had with him. “Isabel, you scared me.” 

“I’m a scary person.” The Gorebyss smiled, hoping to distract from her tangible worry with a joke. But the Carvanha didn’t seem to notice the joke in appraising the nervous energy about his sister. He tied the bag up and closed and placed in a small corner of the grotto before speaking, a pause before any noise comes out of his open mouth. “I have to go back to work later. Are you okay?” 

“Fine! Fine. Great.” Isabel says, and then winces. No! Bad! 

“Okay... well let me know if you need to talk, ok?” Ezequiel smiled, his usual awkward smile he had when he was eagerly offering his help somewhere. But he doesn’t make it much further than the mouth of the grotto when Isabel finally spoke up, her voice rising to a shout. “She knows where you are.” 

The merman stalls. Then a slow turn, and a much different look at his younger sister. Isabel hated this- this was a look she was hoping she wouldn’t have to deal with. A bit of incredulity, mixed with fear and enough anger to make it difficult to tell whom he was directing it at. “...Who?”

It was a stupid question. He knew who.

“You know.” Isabel tried to offer a tiny smile, but it dropped immediately. Now wasn’t the time to smile. “She um, she asked me if I knew about you, and I said no! I lied. But I don’t think she would ask if she didn’t think it was true. So she kept going, um...” 

“And?” Ezequiel’s voice wasn’t angry so much as thin, worried. Isabel didn’t know what to make of that. 

“...and she sent guards to follow me. And then she asked me what I was doing, and she got real mad. I promise though, I-I didn’t say anything! I just tried to avoid her questions, but I guess she figured it out.” 

Ugh. Isabel felt physically ill. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me.” 

There was a prolonged silence before he spoke. “I’m not going to hurt anyone, Isabel.” He grimaced. He anticipated she would find him eventually, but he was putting off preparing for it in his head. The sight of his sister cowering from his imaginary wrath was unexpected - he hadn’t planned on her being so easily bullied and manipulated like this, so desperate for the approval of terrible people. 

She was like him, in that way. 

“So is she coming?” 

Isabel lifted her head from its hiding place between her hands and frowned. “Here?” 

“Yeah.”

“Maybe? Probably. She was really vague about it. She said she would have liked to catch up with you sooner.” 

“So she’s coming.” 

“I guess so.”

Sharp inhale, then a pause. What did Ezequiel want to do here? Avoidance seemed like less and less of an option. But he did have to praise Ludmi’s timing. Faith was gone, he hadn’t spoken to Olive in ages, and his relationship to his friends was vague at best. Loyalty out of fear, or out of love, it was hard to tell which one at the moment. He had nothing to lose now. 

“I’ll speak to her when she comes here.” 

Isabel, as if by magic, jumped up in her seat and darted towards the merman, now only a few feet away from him, her expression emboldened now. “That’s stupid! You can’t do that! “ 

“She wants to catch up, so I’ll talk to her.” 

“No! You can’t, trust me, she-“ 

“Isabel, this doesn’t concern you, okay? Let me do what I want.” 

“This DOES concern me, though.” The Gorebyss growls, hands clenched into tight fists. Had they been above water, Ezel might have spotted tears. “This concerns me. She’s here because I led her here, okay? This is my fault! And I shouldn’t even be talking to you right now! Do you know what she would do with me if she found out I told you she knows where you are?” 

Ezequiel was silent. 

“And you can’t just swim off and act like you’re stronger and smarter now that you have a fancy new totem because she knows about that too. I... I betrayed her, Ezel. I betrayed her the minute I decided not to tell her where you were, and I’m doing it now by telling you that she knows.” Isabel’s voice fell, and a few seconds passed before she spoke again. “I only have you two. And I picked you. don’t talk to her, please.” 

“Isabel, I’m going to.” 

“NO!” The Gorebyss grabbed onto Ezequiel’s wrist, with a grip tight enough to suffocate. Ezequiel yelped, trying to drag his wrist away before he eventually slaps her hand and forces her to let go. “What’s the big problem with it, huh Isabel?” He yelled, his expression now clearly irritated. But the Gorebyss remained in place. 

He didn’t know why Ludmi hated him so much, did he? All that stuff she learned about him... he didn’t know any of it. If he knew, would he understand her point? Or would his ignorance be an asset in the confrontation? He couldn’t be a threat if he didn’t know why he was one, right? 

Ezequiel noticed the silence and growled. “Thought so. I’m going back to work.”

Isabel couldn’t help but bite down on her lip as she watched her brother disappear into the depths of the ocean once again. This was spectacular, truly. She had lost them both. And it was all her fault.

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Comments: 9

3nVee [2018-05-11 14:39:18 +0000 UTC]

-holds up a knife-

Are we gonna have to fite the ocean

Also I'm really digging this painting style~! and the colors for the shadows HHHHNNNN good stuff

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KayVeeDee In reply to 3nVee [2018-05-12 07:07:34 +0000 UTC]

INHALES

LISTEN I APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT BUT PLEASE DO NOT FIGHT THE OCEAN SHE HAS AN ARMY

thank you! I’m glad you like the colors for these shadows because tbh I had no idea what I was doing here xD it started out like two separate paintings on the same canvas and eventually I realized I had to unify them somehow, hence all the greens and purples xD 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Aqua-Tiger [2018-05-08 19:16:11 +0000 UTC]

 seriously? Are you queen of drama? feelings are high on this one. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KayVeeDee In reply to Aqua-Tiger [2018-05-09 16:23:56 +0000 UTC]

Haha! I’ll wear this crown with honor, even if it is a dubious honor. I’m glad this was effective at least

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aqua-Tiger In reply to KayVeeDee [2018-05-09 18:56:57 +0000 UTC]

Strike into feelings future too. Great work

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

dizzyrin [2018-05-08 10:06:19 +0000 UTC]

MMMM this is such a good moody artwork, aaaaaaaah I love seeing this plot play out I am LIVING
BUT ALSO
Don't touch my boy, my son, mi pez español

There's something about these expressions that really catches my eye! They look amazing and nuanced! Also THAT WATER mmmm just everything and the story below too it's very very exciting~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KayVeeDee In reply to dizzyrin [2018-05-09 16:25:32 +0000 UTC]

HE WILL BE FINE I PROMISE DW YOUR PEZ ESPAÑOL WILL BE FINE 
thank you so much!! The expressions were my favorite pet about this, especially since I channeled my inner telenovela to draw them. I hope I can do more telenovela faces like this in the future
mmmm sibling conflict rip their relationship will survive this eventually but I won’t say how :’D 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

birdmir [2018-05-08 02:27:06 +0000 UTC]

mad caCKLING

i feel bad for both, and Ezel is so lonely and Isabel is surprisingly relatable MMMM we're coming in on the last chapter on this

//rolls around

the telenovela faces are my favorite part of this ngl

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KayVeeDee In reply to birdmir [2018-05-09 16:23:10 +0000 UTC]

ITS COMING ITS NEAR AAAHAHA GOOD LORD 
theyre both in a bad place but it’ll get better for them soon!! Or at least, one of them, the other will just mope  around a bit :’) I was surprised when writing this actually by how Isabel reacts to fear Orz 

omg these faces. I need to practice more of them 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0