HOME | DD
Kill--Hawk — El Amante
Published: 2008-08-03 06:19:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 258; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
I wish that I could take backAll the things I've never said
That I could throw away the world
And lie here with you instead
I've taken you for granted
You - the reason that I live
I'm sorry for all you deserve
That isn't mine to give
So as I stand before you, now
And learn how to be free
I wonder what it is I've done
To have you here with me
And I'll savour all my time with you
But never understand
How I stole in you such happiness
From a better man
Related content
Comments: 6
I've finally taken the time to read this and I think it's fantastic.
Yet again I can't explain why I like it so much, I'm not a writer so it isn't necessarily the way you wrote it, I'm just going off feelings, and my feelings say hell yes.
Good work Aaron have a
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Whoo! Thank are am ta Reece. Thanks for the favvretance, and the use of "fantastic" (not just because it can be said "fantesticle", which is funny) and "hell yes."
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
That has power good written all over it. I'm very impressed, and though it's written about all of us, it seems more about love, or a woman. Especially with the last line.
I think it's an excellent piece, though I think some of the syllables are a little out of place. It could just be the way I read it, but that's probably what took it just out of favourite territory for me.
Anyway, bravo, and it's great to see you exploring the written medium more and more these days.
Keep it up!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you Matthas. And, awkward here, but I didn't actually include you in the closest friends thing... HE'S COLD AS ICE!
Yeah, you're right about the woman thing, and I always saw the same thing in the last line, but I liked that line so I kept it in. same with syllables, but I just didn't like the way they sat without it. Ya know how you can have the number of syllables right but the emphasis sounds tacky? dum du dum du dum du dum and all that...
I'll look back at it again, though
Thank you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Well said Mr Hawk, well said.
The rhymes worked so well off each other! The second paragraph (stanza is it called??) sounds really nice!
Well done!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
