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kimitama β There Ain't No Business
Published: 2011-12-20 08:03:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 1226; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 5
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Description
Who needs to draw CHRISTMAS PRESENTS when I can draw WENYAN IN WAISTCOATS. Also nice dye job there, Bruce Lee.Wow, this will really not help Wenyan's popularity go any lower. Um, this is, an, archmagi AU. And yes, I have thought up several, groan. This one, in particular (if you don't recognize titles from musical numbers) is a... show business one-- proooooobably the music industry, because it makes the most sense for Wenyan to be there.
BACKSTORY HERE GO AWAY DON'T READ THIS I'M RETARDED
So basically Elain is a bitchy British pop teen star like the Spice Girls who has essentially grown up released a kajillion platinum albums and has sex scandals every week and is generally living a life of luxury with her crazy green parakeet, Will, that runs free in her apartment. Shut up, stay with me on this, man
AND THEN there is Jiang Wenyan the mandopop boy band guy thing dude idk he's part of a suju type thing and he dances go away that is super popular in Asia so everyone is like I HAVE A RAD IDEA we can SHIP YOU TO AMERICA and make you FAMOUS
And then they move into the same general stylish ass LA neighborhood and Elain is like boi you be on my turf and Wenyan is like oh gosh I am so sorry miss.
OKAY END HERE
But, see? The reason I like this AU is because while Wenyan is still a super quiet spineless doormat in private- to the cameras, he is a douche. Because girls dig douche bags. So whenever Elain pisses him off in public he just flashes Perez Hilton or whatever this charming smile and is like MY AMELICAN GIRLFRIEND SO TEMPERAMENTAL MA and it's kind of beautiful. They're rivals holy shit
I like Wenyan standing up for himself. He can't do it in the Archmagi universe, because, y'know, Teacher Knows Best.
yellow is his color. if you are retarded about chinese color stuff and know his birth year you probably know why.
elain wears fluffy fur coats and minidresses and revoltingly high heels and it's sort of hot. and yes, wenyan is, in-canon, very gangly.
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Comments: 41
mandopop star wenyan go
and elain's outfit is fabulous although her dress is slightly too short for where her thighs start.
but i do love this.
as well as the bendy feet, my honeydarlingsweetiebabydeer
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now that you mention it holy shit you're right
how did i not catch this?!? i was probably preoccupied with elainleg?! i mean -SHOT-
yes
i like bendy feet
go away
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elain's legs are very distracting
you can't be blamed for wanting to make her dress shorter I MEAN WHAT I SAID NOTHING
haha i like them too (: especially when you draw them
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TANNED PEASANT
WORK OUT IN RICE FIELD MA
okay i'm joking idk chinese kids tan really nicely and i'm jealous
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lol
awww but youre cute with your paleness and teenagery giggles (i stalk your livestream jidjiqjqiw)
i'm born as a little white asian baby but when I got the skin that isn't covered kind of got tanned ijwwfwf
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OH GOD SCREW YOU
HORRIBLE CHILD.
yes see
you all tan beautifully
and i'm stuck here with my elain freckles all hi
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ilu2
but it's truuuue I just wanna hug you and wuv you and lalalalalala ijfijoiwf
but but your elain freckles are cute kpowdkpowdkoq
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HERRO I'M YERRO
oh god her dress is really pretty
and the feather boa thing
and the colors (so simple)
YOUR ART JUST GETS PRETTIER AND PRETTIER <3
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OH MY GOSH, WENYAN???? :shock:
Ironically I was listening to a British boy band when I read the description. And did I ever tell you like ties? And dresses? Because I do.
Is Wenyan going to keep that haircut? Because his nerdy bowlcut was kind of cool.
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YES, OH GOD
oh my god
which one-- oh god which band ////
i
i really fucking like ties too oh god and those little kpop waistcoats and ughgh uUGHHHH SIT HERE WITH ME AND GUSH
Oh my, this is only the AU haircut //// I promise you, the bowlcut's sticking around |D
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One Direction. That's the boy band I am listening to.
It gets really awkward because I like my school's formal events like awards night and concerts because all the boys in my class in ties. I just randomly stare and they probably have no idea... And I missed the Christmas concert this year, so I missed guys in ties >:I
if any of the guys in my class saw this, they'd never look at me the same wait they don't even look at me lol jk jk
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OH MY GOD
YOU HAVE SUCH QUALITY MUSIC TASTE i mean
-SHOT-
the only mainstream-ish british boy band i know is the Arctic Monkeys
and they don't dance. they just guitarstrum about alcohol and bitches who have cheated on them.
omg
OMG
dude instead of a christmas concert here we have the option for clubs and the teacher's departments to lip sync to songs at an assembly? (sounds crazy i know)
but we have a high asian population, so we've got a club for newly immigrated students from asia
and a bunch of the guys from the club
went up in
suits
and danced to nobody
and it was so great
and really hot
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I don't think One Direction dances...As far as I can tell from their performance on X Factor (yeah, they were on X Factor...the British one obviously) all they do is hold a microphone and jump around. But they have an addicting song so it makes up for everything.
Lipsyncing's cool too...And I'd want to see Asian guys in suits
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X FACTOR
GHASLDGHSBAHAHAHHAA
it was
really hot
i just have this thing for asian guys in suits and especially when they're dancing to female songs... running their hands up their bodies yeah i'll stop
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I'd buy his CDs. Just saying. All of them. Even if he acts like a douche in public.
I LOVE THIS AU OKAY? JEEZ, SOB, DON'T HATE ME FOR IT.
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SO DO I EL
OH GOD HELP SO DO I HOLD ME I COULD NEVER HATE YOU
ngl i would probably dig elain's shit more because
kesha and britney spears are my spirit animals
also mandopop is so boring it hurts.
"JACKIE CHAN WHY IS YOUR
SHIRT OPEN
WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING WOAIYNEE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHY ARE THERE WHITE LIGHTS EVERYWHERE WHAT ARE THESE DOVES DOING WHAT"
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XDDDDDD <3
In my case I'm not into that kind of pop music at all because I'm an old school idiot EIGHTIES FTW LOL *SHOT DOWN*
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Not gonna lie that made my day like whoa.
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I AM A BIG FAN OF CAMPY NINETIES STUFF IT'S OKAY PATPAT
god mandopop music videos are really hilarious. Especially the mainland ones, where there's the communist censorship rules where it can't be overly-sexy or show bad parts or whatever oh god.
(^ this is also why I love this AU. In-universe Wenyan's really sheltered and doesn't understand modern politics, but this Wenyan in particular is basically a international relations puppet on a string for the CPC and he knows and has long accepted it GOD I AM TERRIBLE MAKE ME STOP)
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They're always hilarious yes.
XDDDDDDDDDDD Sounds like a whole damn lot of fun dear God <3
(LOLOLOL you are hilarious and your ideas amuse me to no one why would I stop you that's like asking me to stop doing things I enjoy. Like coming up with AUs that I'll never write or draw.)
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also can't help but think of elain as like
beckii cruel
//SHOT
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NO
BAD
NO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHE WHYYYYYYY
"look at me wenyan i'm a chinese singer ching chong ling ting tong aiyaaaaaaaah samurai"
"δ½ εΈε¨δΈεοΌεͺθ¦ιε΄"
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how are all of your girls so hot THEY HAVE MATCHING COLOR SCHEMES OOOH
shiny
smooth
-strokes your art-
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and then the men are all socially retarded english second language learners I MEAN SHOT
-strokes your face.-
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oh my god you
i think it's just safe to say
i swoon for
every single one of your men--
uguuu
also i want to hear wenyan singing
deck the halls/////
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my men are all yours hunni
because most of my male OCs are idiots or douchebags.
omg i
he uses book perfect english
never contractions
"elain what is a falalalalalalalala NOT FOUND IN DATABASE ERROR ERROR"
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.
you know
i have a thing for
douchebags SOB
also did i tell you
that
wenyan looks exactly like
this korean guy at my school IT'S SCARY SIMILAR
sorry tmi OTL
and omg lmao
whenever that happens
can he like
spew all the english he knows
in random segments--
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oh god i realized
halfway through lineart
that he honestly looks more korean than mainland chinese fmL
-- oh god
he knows
like perfect english he's totally fluent
it's just so
SO BOOKY with no contractions and no slang understanding
and when he gets drunk it's just an endless spew of ladykiller mandarin
"Aa, Elain, wΗ de Γ i, nΗ kΓ n kΔn jΔ«n wΗn rΓΊ cΗ mΔi lΓ¬" and she's like "um what that sounds good also you're looking at me funny"
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omg no that's okay
he's still hot and stuff
also oh my god
i really
really want to see a drunk wenyan
sing this [link]
wo ai ni bu hui gai biannnnn
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i am listening to this
right now and cracking up oh my god what even
WHAT IS WITH SUPER JUNIOR AND ALL THEIR WEIRD BALLADS OH GOD
shit their chinese is really hot
i still like sorry,sorry better
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SORRY SORRY, something something something-
dang i never remember the lyrics to that
i just remember um um
they like rub their hands together at that part LMAO-
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i am so sorry but wenyan makes me think of jay chou/SHINee
anyway
hooooooooooooooooooooot. so hot
and the clothes
also elain how do you even walk in those heels my god
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JAY CHOU IS REALLY HOT i mean what i am sorry i said nothing carry on
god i don't even know
barbie doll feet.
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dayamn gurrrl this is some hot stuff
i mean wot no seriosuly though gah elain and wenyan these twooo hnn
ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES ARE SO FABULOUS MANNNN ;__;
these two also make best blackrom
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GOD I FUCKING LOVE THE NAME ELAIN
nnghhh I really like the clothes <3
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SO DO I I STOLE IT FROM A PINOY INTERNET FRIEND
It means fawn in welsh gggGggggGgg I assume it's pronounced like Elaine but somehow I cant get the eLAN pronunciation out of my head.
I LIKE CLOTHES. A LOT. I LIKE PEOPLE WHO ALSO LIKE CLOTHES. /BUNP
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SHIT IT'S NOT PRONOUNCED LIKE ELAINE?! fml I have a friend called Elaine and everyone pronounces her name perfectly but not mine EVEN THOUGH IT'S JUST ELAINE WITH 'MAD' IN FRONT OF IT
CLOTHES ARE SEXY
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I ALWAYS PRONOUNCED IT ELAINE-
LET ME GOOGLE ALL OVER THIS SHIT
...
holy shit
it's uh
neither
it's El-ine. Like, rhyming with 'mine'.
I HAVE BEEN LIVING A LIE, WHAT ON EARTH
I'm pretty sure it has weird pronunciation rules like Sian where only people with a British accent can pronounce it right. Those goddamn Welsh.
MADELINE IS A CUTE NAME AND IT MAKES ME THINK OF THE REDHEAD RAISED BY NUNS AND THE PASTRY also madeline is a name in my OC name fund you realize. this'll be awks.
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