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kimitama — W-17: Evan Archer
Published: 2012-06-17 07:19:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 2517; Favourites: 30; Downloads: 20
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Description
wait til my father hears about this, potter
Name: Evan Theodor ArcherAge: 21Date of Birth: January 28th, 1480Stats: - CHA: 2
- INT: 9
- LUK: 4
- PWR: 0
- SPD: 5
Personality Keywords: Critical (it’s covered up by his coat sleeve, for which I’m very sorry), caustic, single-minded Specialties:- Analytics: A scientist at heart, he often analyzes everything half to death, whether or not he wants to. This extends to harebrained schemes, interpersonal relationships, and cat feeding times.
- Knowledge: He’s actually a walking medical encyclopedia. One of his favourite books is the health guide. Evan’s just the slightest bit hypochondriatic, but it’s less about himself, and more about other people. He’s also fairly well-read, but mostly in the non-fiction jurisdiction. (Ha ha, I know, *lunatama rhymed unintentionally, she must be the next Snoop Dogg.)
- Aggravation: He’s got it down to an art.
- Avoidance: Being much weaker than most people, yet nastier, while putting high value on his face (a bad combination), he’s found many ways to quite physically worm out of fights, and mentally worm out of verbal ones.
- Endurance: He may not look it, but he has a core of iron, and isn’t very fazed by pain, despite the constant bitching that may begin when it occurs.
Personality Description:It’s as if every word out of his mouth is a lie— but he can get away with it, because it’s all said with such biting sarcasm in his tone that you know all too well that he’s using verbal irony. Evan employs it so often, however, that it’s nearly like an impenetrable steel shield of scorn, and everyone is aware of it but him.
Despite his constant criticism and snide comments about everyone, he pulls through when it counts, often the only one with the courage to say what everyone is thinking. When someone needs it, in spite of a clean face of indifference, he’ll help him or her out beyond the normal quota amid much good-natured complaining.
Highly scientific, he will often jump the worst-case scenario of a situation, if only so that he won't be disappointed; sometimes, however, he will briefly feel a flicker of hope. If this brief lapse into idealism lets him down, he will often be crushed, and it will hit him much harder than it would the average person. Nihilist to the extreme, he will often state that life is, when it comes down to it, a 'meaningless sequence of accidents', and that everything that society will attach meaning to is simply a chemical process. This is particularly in regards to love, in which argument he will often retort with, "Do you know what serotonin is?" This has led him to be less-than-popular with women. At heart, however, he honestly is searching for any kind of meaning to give his life- he thinks that as a doctor, he can perhaps change the world, or someone else's world, long after he's gone. Needless to say, he's not particularly afraid of death, but finds it to be terribly inconvenient.
He’s often looking out for people who can brush off his constant mockery; because deep down, his harshness is nothing but a test — he’s worried, people won’t take him for who he is, so he purposefully exacerbates it to display to the public. For people who will take him, he’s particularly grateful, but won’t show it- that is, until they get themselves into a tight spot. Then he’ll stop at nothing, and his single-mindedness can come off as slightly creepy.
Background: His mother died several weeks after giving birth to his younger brother, due to infection complications— thus, his father remained to take care of him, his two elder brothers, and the baby that none of them had any trace of an idea how to raise. Being only four at the time, he primarily grew up in a chaotic household full of rowdy boys tracking in dirt and constantly looking for an outlet. They quickly found out that Evan was easy prey, being quite scrawny, considerably fairer, and less aggressive than his brothers are. They would both often happily put him through “character-building” exercises that involved a lot of punching. He quickly learned three very important skills from their constant loving abuse: a) how to run away, b) how to withstand a fist to the gut, and c) how to sprint intellectual circles around your family of louts.
After a few years in public education, he was put through testing, and proclaimed to be “gifted”— this led to a lot of scoffing around the dinner table (“The only thing he’s gifted in is being GAY”), but was nevertheless moved to a private, all-boys school, where he found a much happier and slightly more intellectually challenging existence. When he questioned his father on the absence of his mother, however, and was explained (quite awkwardly; his father did not want to think about pregnancy-related infections and where they’d be located) how, Evan grew a little morbidly interested in infections, which later spread to a strange fixation on things wrong with the body in general. In retrospect, he thinks this is why it took him a while to make many friends. Perhaps it was hard to approach a boy who was curled up between library shelves looking at mutations? No, that’s preposterous. Who doesn’t like babies growing extra heads? Thankfully, he merely evened out with a career interest in being a doctor; he knew he was certainly smart enough for it, and he longed to help people, despite his slight awkwardness.
In his final year of his accelerated university degree, however, there was a mildly small complication. A girl he had previously dated pressed multiple statutory rape charges against him, and he was promptly hurled into remand. Much to his horror, the prosecuting client had, indeed, been fifteen at the time, lied to him about her age, and was pregnant, on top of everything. They had never had sex, so he was a bit at a loss at how they could possibly convict him, going only on the word of one girl— moreover, claiming that it was reoccurring was pushing the suspension of disbelief. Unfortunately, the evidence of a relationship was undeniable, and the lawyer backed him into a corner during the trial— the more nervous he got, the more belligerent his remarks, none of which helped his case. Evan was quite sure he was going to break down into womanly hysterics, when the door opened. Much to Evan’s disappointment, it wasn’t the specialist with cold, hard evidence— it was a rabbit. He heard a collective groan from the jurors, and wheeled around, frantically; was this a thing? Should he be worried?
“Halt! I’m Laralyn! Marvelous, fantastic! Defender Of Justice!”
Despite being on the stand, and probably not allowed to talk when justice-defending, broken monster truck robo-rabbits walk right in during a criminal trial, his knee-jerk response was a frantic quip. “Oh, wow, justice-defending, broken monster truck robo-rabbits. I think I’ll take the death row, thanks.” No! No, he’ll take the rabbit! He’ll take a million decrepit rabbit robots if he could live, he would give ten billion dollars to orphanages for the rest of his life! Thankfully, the court reporter didn’t seem to notice, and immediately stopped writing the minute the rabbit started screeching.
Much to his horror, Laralyn had frighteningly accurate knowledge of sexual forensics, and oddly advanced access to the things required to get cold, hard scientific evidence. The more Evan watched, the less his heart hammered; perhaps this rabbit was as reliable as a specialist, from the way it was talking. By the time Laralyn was (almost gleefully) producing DNA testing (including a cheek swab which he did not remember giving; had it taken a cheek swab from him while he was asleep?), the girl who accused him broke down hysterically and confessed everything.
Evan could barely catch the proper explanation; he was mentally reeling on the stand, and only learned what happened after the trial. The girl had gotten herself into an abusive relationship where she was unhappy, but unable to break up with him without getting threatened. She desperately turned to cheating on him with another man, who proceeded to get her pregnant (at this point, Evan was attempting to sympathize as best he could, but all he could think was that he was certainly never this precocious at fifteen). When her boyfriend found out, he predictably flew into a rage, and in her desperation, she pointed her finger at her previous relationship and called rape. It was awful, certainly, he thought— but nevertheless, he was properly horrified at the hell she would drag an innocent through because of her terrible decision-making and lack of logic. How could he have ever dated her, and not guessed she had the sensibility of a fifteen-year-old? God, he was an idiot.
As he walked out of the courtroom, feeling nearly giddy, he stopped by the rabbit, intending to ask it a few questions. And perhaps thank it for saving his life, but who thanks a robotic rabbit? That’s preposterous.
Instead, the rabbit promptly lit him on fire, leaving a message behind with a (rather ominous, in his humble opinion) invitation to brunch. Evan disliked brunch, finding that it was a stupid invention by someone who was too fat and lazy to get up for proper breakfast, and could afford to laze around the house cooking sausages; however, he felt indebted, and didn't like the feeling. Thus, Evan T. Archer reluctantly fell into the path of a Defender of Justice, all the while insisting that Defender of Justice was a stupid title, and you could always just call him Investigator Archer, or something. Nobody ever does.
Trivia: - His brothers aren’t actually clones of Alden Reinhardt, I swear!
- As of now, he has a slight aversion to sex and a mild and understandable distrust of most teenage girls. Particularly the young ones. He’s a bit touchy about touching them or unintentionally coming on to them.
- He doesn’t believe in love, and stubbornly maintains that it’s a concept invented for reproduction, and is simply high levels of serotonin.
- If you can’t already tell, he’s a bit unpopular with the ladies, despite his effeminate and rather ghostly good looks (?!).
- He could be charming if he tried, but he doesn’t. He loves his sass too much.
Related content
Comments: 75
DOHOHOH
SUCH AN ASS
maybe if evan crossdresses they'll get along PFFFT/SMACKED
probably a hotter girl than a guy, god bless
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;w; I absolutely love this dude, I haven't finished reading his bio (although I would LOVE TO because it is extremely interesting and hilarious btw you're a great writer) I live him already. I love how he calls life a 'meaningless sequence of accidents' that's brilliant and oh I can't list everything I love about him. not so popular with the ladiesss oh and aversion for young teenage girls. This is perfect. Oh god I'm so happy ;w;
;7; um, um, trying to think of RP prompt---- derp where would he likely be found?
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- O-OH MY GOD
your comment actually made me squirm in my chair and giggle and touch my own face because uh
(i'm kind of weird i guess i think you found my weakness which is my ego HURK)
i'm crying
i was worried that
my writing would not be up to par in this group because we have gr8 writers and I really like throwing in snide comments? oh goshy gosh.
BLUSHES
wow i um
.. hmm
idk
evan is a lil nosy
MAKE ANALIE FALL OR SOMETHING
-
ON THE BEACH
AND CUT HER LEG OPEN
oh my god she's fifteen
oh my god she's fifteen
oh my go- this will be awful and i'm sorry
(evan archer: unintentional pedophile "it's ok because i'm a doctor kind of. i'm in medical school. good enough.")
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;w; No dude I absolutely love characters like this and he can totally bulldoze over my little Analie and I will be so so so amused and love will happen. 
Analie: That day on the harbor was lovely. Incredibly lovely. The sun shone, there wasn't a cloud in the sky (except for that little one shaped like a bunny), and the sand was dark and soft by the water's edge. There was a beach nearby the harbor where that mysterious warehouse was, and while you couldn't swim too close due to boats and the like, Analie somehow felt that she should stay close to the area. But beaches were awesome, and full of cute guys. The cute guys made the beach amazing even if it did mean wearing a swimsuit, which, at least in her opinion, made her look like a beached whale.
Again, she looked at the beautiful sky, and that one bunny-shaped cloud that was oh-so adorable. It reminded her of Laralyn, the scary robot-rabbit that now visited her nightmares on occasion. Pulled into a deep line of thought, she didn't notice the discarded soda can peeking out from the sand, and fell spectacularly. As she fell the to sand, shocked, she noticed from the corner of her eye a rather hot guy nearby; no use giving up this chance. Letting herself look much more injured than she was, she let out a cute(?) yelp of pain and then shot puppy-dog eyes in the hot-bod's direction.
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Evan: God, it was sweltering out. Pulling at his tie ruefully, he stared up at the cloudless sky, making a face at a wheeling seagull. Why did he think it was a good idea to have lunch here? It was something in the back of his head about it being overcast, no doubt. He certainly wasn’t anticipating sunlight. It wasn’t that he didn’t like sunlight, certainly. He was just a little sensitive. And by “a little sensitive”, he meant, “freckled like nobody’s business”.
Freckles would make him look boorish. He touched his cheek, nearly automatically. Somewhere to his immediate left, he heard a yelp of pain, and turned towards the noise on instinct, zeroing in on a fallen girl in the sand. She looked rather small, and his eyebrows knit in concern. Should he…?
It was possible that somebody else would help her. A mother, or something. He merely stood there, flipping up his jacket collar against the wind; the longer he stood, however, the more he started to get nervous. Nobody was coming, so he should probably… do something, right?
It would look strange. He was a grown man. Never mind that, it would look creepy. And then she made eye contact. Evan stiffened. Now she had seen, and it would look awful if he just sat here and watched--
In the end, he couldn’t take it; ambling down to the shoreline, he loomed over her, biting his lip a little and holding a hand out. The first words out of his mouth probably took the cake for stupidity to anybody but a medical student.
“Incidentally, when was the last time you had a tetanus vaccine?”
( ok wow I love how that took me like 2 hours DON’T JUDGE ME OKAY I WORKED REALLY HARD ON IT BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO THINK I WAS BAD AT RPING WEEPS EVERYWHERE ROLLS INTO A CORNER )
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((Don't worry dear, you RP fine, you can relax~))
Analie: The babelicious boy offered his hand, and seeing him up close allowed her to take what he said in stride and define it as 'kinda cute' even though it was actually a bit weird. She thought maybe a giggle would be appropriate, but she remembered she was supposed to be in pain, so she just took his hand (wow! such soft fingers~) and made sure to help herself up so he wouldn't notice how incredibly heavy she was.
"T-thank you..." She was blushing, and for good reason after all, he was stunning. Was that amazement in his eyes? Surely it was; her heart fluttered. She was going to ignore his question.
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(( O-OKAY, SORRY
can i also just say that i burst into hysterics at analie's adjectives
this girl is best. i lost my shit at "babelicious" ))
Evan: He noted silently that she helped herself up- she didn’t appear to be physically incapacitated, and he leaned a little closer to check her pupil dilation nearly automatically, and quickly jerked back. Creepy! Creepy, creepy. You were convicted for this kind of thing, Archer, just stop! his brain screamed, and he quickly straightened up, tugging on his coat cuff. She was absolutely tiny, that was guaranteed, more than a whole foot shorter. The girl had to be thirteen, at least. Maybe older? He wasn’t all that sure on average height standards for teenage girls. They were all irritably varied.
Was that a stammer? Falling in sand was very traumatic, he supposed. The minute he saw her blush, however, a bout of worry flared up. “Oh, it was nothing,” he replied brazenly, with nearly no expression. He probably shouldn’t have been sassing at a child, but it was nearly second nature. “I rescue kids from falling to their deaths on sand all the time. I’m a seashore knight-for-hire. Tell all your friends.”
When had she gotten her tetanus shot? He supposed he’d never find out. It was a pretty weird question, anyway. In a rush, he added, “Oh, and if you get muscle cramps or fatigue, go see a doctor. I double as a medical student by day.” Brushing off his pants, he gave her a questioning look. Why the blush, though? He would have liked to say that he prayed to any god that would listen in the hopes that he didn’t appeal to teenage girls, but it was more like he simply hoped, and he admittedly fell more into that demographic anyway. Due to what he called his inclination towards effeminacy and what his brothers often called looking like a goddamned woman.
Perhaps he should have gone into the music industry.
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(( babelicious is simply the greatest word. Thank you. ;w;
hjgsfdugdsjhfgjhdsgf I love this man oh pupil dilation oh my gah screaming))
Analie: Seeing him looking into her eyes, she almost fluttered her eyelashes on instinct (after all, they were one of her selling points), but then realized that was stupid and coming on to strong and she was supposed to be in pain.
But that reminder was not enough to keep back the giggles when he spoke. "Oh? A seashore knight? I guess I can believe that." She never would have thought he would have humor in him--he seemed like the quiet, mysterious brooding type. Not that it didn't help. She was jelly in his surprisingly-soft hands.
"And a medical student as well? How impressive. You must be so busy." She supposed she could be comical as well (with a bit of flirtatious). It was going nicely. Until she tried taking a step forward, in which pain crossed across her face; maybe she had overdone it. It seemed she had hurt herself more than she thought.
((sorry it took so long stupid sister distracting me with Homestuck ;A; ))
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Evan: He sincerely hoped the girl could detect sarcasm. Seashore knights existed, he was pretty sure, and they were called Coast Guards. She seemed faintly surprised at the acridity, and he immediately felt a swift twinge of guilt. “Well, yes, I’m a medical student,” he explained, haltingly, turning a hawkeye towards her unsteady walking. A hurt foot, after all? “It’s why my knee-jerk response was the thing about the tetanus, you know. Instead of something normal, like are you OK?. Med school breeds social retardation.” He often finished this way, because somehow people seemed to understand. Medical students were all shut-ins who never saw the light of day, born and bred in preparatory schools, or something along those lines.
“Are you sure you’re quite alright?” he inquired¬—not without a suspicious edge to his tone. “It looks like it hurts, and you’re not exactly going to be doing your mother any favours by acting like a noble, fallen soldier.” Sometimes Evan wished he could just learn to shut his fat mouth, before realizing the alternative was worse.
Mothers still deserved better.
(( WHAT ACT ARE YOU ON ))
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Analie: She sat back on the sand, and touched her ankle gingerly. At his words of medical school retardation, she laughed, but poked the ankle a bit too hard and winced. "Mm... I think i may have sprained it or something...."
((DUDE I AM CURRENT. Hanging with my buddy Calliope and stuff.))
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Evan: "Oh, let me see," he said quite automatically, before realizing that was a little bizarre. "How much is it swelled, would you say? And can you still move it?" That wasn't weird, right? It was an ankle, for pity's sake. "If you can, it's a grade 1, and you'll be fine. If you keep your weight off it, that is."
... Yeah, he was being weird.
(AHHHH CALLIOPE IS A CUTIE (!!) I LOVE HER OMG )
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((Hey so I'm drawing Evan and I was trying to come up with a pose and people convinced me to draw him looking really gay is that okay? XD ))
Analie: "Oh, I don't think it's too bad...." She tried moving it in a circle. It hurt, but she could do it (with a good amount of teeth gritting, that is). "Um, does that count?" She looked up at him, for once not full of flirty motives.
(YES. Oh my gosh and soon we'll get to see her brother and I'm so excited 
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(( CHOKE. if the shoe fits, wear it, i guess! ))
Evan: He gave her a bit of a look- he thought to himself that he liked her better when she was looking him in the eye without any traces of coy. She seemed somehow more genuine and, despite a sprained ankle, less vulnerable. God, he really should grasp a better understanding of girls, he thought to himself, tilting his head to the side at her a little. "Scale of one to ten for pain, though," he said, hating himself for sounding anxious. Once, his younger brother told him he had a mother complex. That was bullshit. This was only because humanity, on the whole, had a tendency to overestimate or underestimate pain. Rather useful, really, speaking practically, but as a health professional, it could get problematic.
"One for feeling like a stitch in your side, maybe, and ten for, what, being covered in gasoline and lit on fire, or something." He looked down at his knees, breaking her gaze, and ran a finger over a seashell wedged into the rocky sand.
(( i am sorry he is so motherydoctory by the way //HIT
also YES
uu I AM KIND OF WORRIED!! WHAT IF HE IS CRAZY AND SCARY O_Q
no update for six days... i feel a flash comin' in my bones. ))
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Analie: She tried moving her ankle again. "Um.... It hurts like a sprained ankle? Maybe 6?" While she liked being looked after by the attractive man, all of her actions now were sincere and innocent. While usually she would laugh off (or perhaps, cry) an injury, being in the presence of a medical professional made everything seem so much more severe.
((No I love this man so much it isn't even funny.
OH MY GOSH DID YOU SEE THE UPDATE??? My journal. You can look at my journal and see how I felt. -I was SCREAMING for like THIRTY MINUTES seriously-))
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Evan: "Six? Maybe it is a grade two. Can you walk?" Briskly, he stood up, holding out a hand. Maybe he really did relish in being chivalrous a bit too much to admit out loud, all sarcasm aside.
(( YES JFC
WOW
HOW DID THEY ALL
DIE
I
WHAT
wow jane and jake are a little rash ugh ))
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Analie: She got up, took one step, took anoth--OW. A tiny ounce of blurriness occurred in her vision. "Mmm.... A little?" It hurt. It probably wasn't even that bad, but she was never any good at withstanding pain. Any little cut made her cry like a baby.
((I know, during it I was screaming at the computer because i was sure Jake was going to die RIGHT IN FRONT OF DIRK and break his poor heart. Instead Jake is pronounced 'KO'D', even though he fell from hundreds of feet onto concrete, which would have broken any normal man's bones. But oh well. And Jane will probably revive herself again because of life-y powers. ))
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Evan: She looked dizzy, which immediately set of ten billion warning signals in his head, with words like hemorrhage and anemia floating to the front of his brain, where he immediately dismissed them. She wasn't going to hemorrhage all over the beach because of a sprained ankle, that was a ridiculous thought. "If it's only a little, you should be fine," he said in the most professional voice he could muster. Unable to resist, he added, "Unless there's blocked arteries. D'you need help?"
(( I KNOW!??! LIKE WOW hussie actually kills people too much and it pisses me off
i dunno i feel like he's simultaneously pandering to the fanbase and going against it and i dont LIKE IT!!!! )
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Analie: "B-blocked...?" She looked at him like a kicked puppy. Doctors really make things scary! If he weren't scary cute himself, well.... Oh she would have stayed anyway. It felt like, because of a silly sprained ankle, this guy was her key between life and death.
"U-um, well..." 'Don't be silly', she told herself, 'you're fine just a sprain'. She tried to walk again. Put a little weight on the foot. Now a lot.
"Owch~!" She touched it again, gingerly. Maybe she had caused it to swell? Man, she was such an idiot! "M-maybe, I may need a bit of help... Can I lean on you, so I don't fall over? I can't put much weight on it..." Stupid baby. Stupid can. Stupid cloud. Stupid Analie.
((Well, it is Hussie we are talking about. [link] ))
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Evan: "Joking. Kind of," he replied, laughing a bit humorlessly; he wasn't particularly comfortable with the injured glances she was shooting him. "It's not a big deal if it's congested, honestly," Evan added, just to clear the look off her face. "Just. Go to a doctor. And he'll probably be able to do a better job than I can." I'm only first year, he added mentally, for all I know, I could be screwing it up more.
He paused, appraising her for a minute. He was kind of scrawny, and he wasn't sure if he could carry a two-by-four, let alone support a human being's weight. Also, creepy. Creepy, creepy.
In the end, his nonexistent Hippocratic oath won out. "Go on, then," he relented, holding out an arm a bit weirdly. How did one do this? Didn't this fall under the nursing jurisdiction? If only somebody needed brain surgery. "What's your name?" Awkwardly. It felt like mandatory information.
(( HAHAHAA YES
I'VE SEEN THAT OMG
i wish he'd just let dave and dirk talk to each other omfg o_q ))
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Analie: "I'm Analie. Analie Clove." Having to hop a few inches, she leaned in, fitting herself in the crevice offered by his open arm, as if he were giving her a one-armed hug. The foot closest to him held little weight, and while she tried to put most of her weight on her other foot, she didn't have the greatest balance, so she had to lean on him a bit. "Let's go over to that bench. What's your name?" They started to hop/walk toward a nearby bench past the sand's edge.
((I am making screamy little peradacytol noises. I love this man. So much. Creepy, creepy.
Oh yeah, and I just want the Tavros Vriska team to do something, and I want dead Vriska to meet John, just because he said 'Oh, it's been three years, she probably didn't even like me.' And then they'll meet again. And he's going to flip. I just know it.))
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Evan: Is this what being a father (husband?!) was like? She was tiny. Like a hamster. Evan used to have a hamster, and he was pretty sure that was the only thing he had put his arm around, ever, besides girlfriends (he was pretty sure he had liked the hamsters more than the girlfriends- just as a side note).
At her name, he nodded, but felt a twinge of worry. He was awful with names. Why did he even ask? In what appeared to be grasping at straws for any type of mental shortcut, he blinked. "Clove. Like the spice?" He could remember spices. Clove was an analgesic, often used as a painkiller- for- dental- work- and- marinades- he paled, slightly. How on earth was he going to remember Analie? What kind of name was that, anyway? He supposed he could just call her Miss Clove, to sound polite, or something. He probably wouldn't need it for very long, anyway.
"Sir Evan Archer, MD," he replied brusquely. "If you're nice, maybe I'll let you call me Your Highness." Giving her a sideways glance, he added, "Alright. You can lean on me a bit more than that, you know, I'm not going to fall over." Maybe.
(( omfg i just want all of them to interact?? like wow this is KiLLING ME. godammit hussie. ))
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Analie: She giggled a bit. "Well, Sir Evan the Seashore Knight, my real name is Anala, if that's any easier to remember." She could see the confusion in his eyes; it happened sometimes at her name. She was used to it. She wasn't the best with names either, but she defintely wouldn't be forgetting this guys's name. (Okay, actually she was really good with names. But only for boys.) So close to him, an arm literally 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ow. No more starinmg at his hunky face. She had to hop/step over to that bench, and with how nimble and full of grace she was, she really needed every attention she had on moving in a straight line.
(( JHFGF I nearly choked on my heart at the hamster part. ;7;
OH MYT GOSH DID YOU SEE THE UPDATE? With Dirk? And Dave's face? sjhgfhsab.))
Evan: "Ooh, Sir Evan the Seashore Knight? Not going to lie to you, that's pretty catchy," he replied lightly. Anala sounded like Banana. What if he accidentally ended up calling her Banana? Whatever, Miss Clove was the way to go. Yes. Good. He was so polite it hurt.
Distractedly, he wondered if the arm around his waist was there on purpose, or simply just support- wow, he was pretty bad at this, wasn't he? Was he honestly questioning a little girl's ulterior motive while she was injured? Maybe he really should have become a lawyer.
(He was being sarcastic, of course; only idiots with no life's ambition became lawyers in Astaria.)
Carefully lowering himself onto the bench, and putting on the most grown-up voice he could muster (don't be creepy don't be creepy don't) he said a bit distantly, "D'you have anybody who can pick you up, maybe?"
Beaches from the view of a bench were really quite lovely. Less awful than on the sand. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure his cheeks were freckling and burning in the pursuit of good health care.
(( HAMSTEEEERRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. this is why my lit is awful.
YES
OH GOD
D-DAVE
DAVEYDAVEYDAVE
and kanaya just like "whats going on"
i wonder how jake is going to revive himself tho. he has no lifey powers and a dead dreamself, WHOOPS ))
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Analie: She blushed even more at his question. "A ride? Oh...." mShe had walked to the beach; a bit far, but nothing to drastic for someone trying to lose weight! But she defintely couldn't walk that far now...
"Oh, I could probably call someone-" She stopped, her hand by her side. She didn't have her cell with her. Because she didn't have pockets. She thought she would be fine. Why would she do that? Why would she try being adventurous and walk all the way there in her swimsuit?? The only thing that came of it was this sticky situation, and seeing her bloated stretched reflection in passing car windows. Wow, Analie. So smart. So STUPID!
"......" She had this shy, dumb little smile on her very red face. "Ah...." She tried to think of an alternative. Any alternative. But... "Oh! Could I borrow you cell phone?"
(( Well Jake didn;t die, he was only KO'd, which again is dumb because of physics but whatever he's just konked out. Same with Diork, only KO'd, but now with the new update herp derp.
I WANT TOP KNOW WHAT DAVE SAYS RAWR))
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WOLF WHISTLES wOw
hottie alert
i like my men with nice butts and with faces like they have indigestion
touches evan i /tsundere amu blush
investigator archer-sama dono kun chan investigator cosplay hentai baka!!
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p,FGMGFGOM OMFG HE REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE HE HAS INDIGESTION WHY
butts butts butts
smirky smirk oh my little stawberry
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a+ butt
f- personality
oh well at least he's hot //SHOT
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oh my what a handsome young man this is
and wow this story
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i think he's less handsome and more...
actually beautiful
-SHOT-
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truly a beautiful man???????????????????
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HE'S JUST
NOT MANLY ENOUGH TO BE HANDSOME
HEADDESK
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oh shit I still have to draw my guy, too (if he even gets accepted but that's a bridge we'll burn when we get there)
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well, you see, I read "dieselpunk," and assumed that a salesman of futuristic vacuums wouldn't be too far-off...
h-
he's a salesman who's charged for murder because one of his clients which turned out to be his rival's wife was killed by an exploding vacuum(?????) and-
he's just a sneaky chauvinistic wimp whose only talent is to run fast and talk faster i-
I was like "ohey okay" and then your guy is all whoah what's this
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all i read was chauvinistic and thats hot
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Touchy about touching or touchy about cumming on teenage girls.
Sassy touchie touch.
I can tell my character, would at one point.
Straight look at him.
Dead in the eye
While swaying about with a bottle in his hand.
And say this.
And nothing, but, this.
...
"Yur a defunda of just-ass."
And give him the kind of wink that would run your blood cold and produce enough shivers in your spine you would be the cause of a small class earthquake.
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-- D-DID YOU SPELL COMING THAT WAY ON PURPOSE OR, UM
oh no he's fine with touching kinda
it's just coming onto teenage girls because STATUTORY RAPE IS UNCOOL YO
.
is your character like
a drunk homosexual creepo or something mfoMKghsd;f IM CRY
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Nah! He is a cynical sarcastic teaser... He also has a thing for making people feel socially uncomfortable, he just loves to watch them squirm in the awkward.
And a drunk.
And puntastic.
STATUTORY RAPE IS VERY UNCOOL.
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OH GOD HAHAHA I'M CRYING
PUNS ARE THE LOWEST FORM OF HUMOR!!!
i don't think
he'll be able to faze evan
he's kind of derp like that 8T
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Larkin Valusovski IS THE LOWEST FORM OF MAN!
Well not really.
They are the people who talk in theaters.
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clearly i am the lowest form of man
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Clearly I am not a man at all.
And rather a virtuous vegetable.
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it wasn't on purpose i swear uguu
i hope nobody beats him up in-rp because he is very attached to that beautiful face.
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I'm sure more than a few of the people in-rp will be too. -SHOT-
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SORRY I'M NOT SORRY.
flies into space
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