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KreepingSpawn — FFM: Burning Dog - Origin [NSFW]
Published: 2012-07-31 01:10:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 521; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 0
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Description His mouth is full of smoke and blood.

Anything can happen in these damn mountains.  Anything.

He didn’t mean it.  It was stupid.  He hated it.  He couldn’t stop it.

He caught the mangy dog, and lit it on fire.

He shot it to death.  But not quickly.

He was angry, and hurting.  He couldn’t stop it.

After he killed the dog, squadmates, his brothers, turned on him.  Turned him out.  

They had liked the dog; fed it scraps, taught it simple commands.

Why had he done that?  Why had he killed their dog?

He had liked the dog too.

Until.

Until his friend was killed.

His best friend was dead.  The world was his enemy.  He hurt!

His mouth is full of blood.

He didn’t do it because he hated the dog.  The dog was just convenient.

“I’m sorry.”  Warm fluid spills down his chin.  He feels cold.

Someone tells him “Don’t talk!”

The dog is there.  It’s hair is matted and filthy.  It’s hair is burning.  He can smell it.

His mouth is full of blood and the smell of burning hair and foul smoke.

The dog walks towards him.  It can’t be real.  He shot it.  He killed it.  He burned it.  Weeks ago.

Yellow flames dance across its back.  The dog is burning, and yet is not consumed.

He is afraid.  He is cold, and hurting.  His mouth is full of blood.

“I’m sorry.”

Again he is told “Don’t.  Don’t talk.”

The dog stands over him.  It’s eyes are deep red.  

He is choking on the smell of burning, gunsmoke, blood.

The dog lowers its head.  He reaches out.

The yellow flames are not hot.  They cannot warm his cold, empty body.

And he knows he is damned.
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Comments: 9

Zephammo [2012-09-08 05:29:24 +0000 UTC]

I really like this. The choppy sentences and simple story telling leaves a lot to be imagined, which is something I like in writings.

The image that formed in my head is somewhat straightforward I suppose, but it seems to fit. A soldier has a very good friend who dies in the war. He must have witnessed it, or been close when it happened. He takes out his grief on a dog that his troop had been kind of taking care of. Some time passes, and one day he is caught in some sort of attack. A bomb, maybe. He's dying, and his fellow soldier are trying to save him, telling him not to talk while they attempt to save his life. The soldier is dying, though, and all he is thinking of is killing that dog. He is seeing the dog approach as death emptied his body.


Just a random interpretation. I could be totally off, but that's what I love about stuff like this. Love the piece ^^

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KreepingSpawn In reply to Zephammo [2012-09-08 05:40:00 +0000 UTC]

Man, you are dead on. That's kinda creepy!

I actually fleshed this out in more detail: [link]
But obvioulsy you don't need any more info than what is given here.

Thanks much for the !

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Zephammo In reply to KreepingSpawn [2012-09-08 06:06:11 +0000 UTC]

What? I just skimmed that fleshed out version (don't have time to fully read it). dang, i didn't expect to be so accurate xD

Well done, you obviously know what you are doing when you write.

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KreepingSpawn In reply to Zephammo [2012-09-08 19:15:12 +0000 UTC]

Obviously you are tapped in. Thanks again for reading!

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Zephammo In reply to KreepingSpawn [2012-09-09 01:21:15 +0000 UTC]

I guess I am xD No problem ^^

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InSearchofHedonism [2012-08-01 03:07:07 +0000 UTC]

This grabbed my attention and held it to the very end. I really liked your minimalist style marked by your short and attention grabbing sentences.

I was a bit confused what the burning dog was though. I'm assuming the main character was murdered (for killing the dog) and then the dog exacted revenge on him in hell. Am I interpreting this correctly?

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KreepingSpawn In reply to InSearchofHedonism [2012-08-01 15:10:54 +0000 UTC]

Not exactly what I had in mind, but I did leave it pretty vague. ;}

Thanks a lot for taking time to read and share your impressions.

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InSearchofHedonism In reply to KreepingSpawn [2012-08-05 03:01:16 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome. What did you have in mind? I would be interested in hearing it. : )

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KreepingSpawn In reply to InSearchofHedonism [2012-08-05 03:33:44 +0000 UTC]

Well, I just posted the expanded version today: [link]


Fair warning, it's pretty twisted. Not that this version isn't.

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