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Description
All throughout 2014, and even before then, I had ups and downs, as I'm sure a lot of people have had, too. To be completely frank, there were times when I felt like it wasn't worth fighting, when it might be better to just throw in the towel.

I've imagined, often enough before, how it might be if I simply weren't here. No, I didn't imagine ending my life, thank God; I just thought of different situations where there wasn't even a part of the being called 'me', not even the smallest bit. But all those relationships I have with other people - both online and in real life - made it impossible to truly see any scenario without me.

Whether the problems that led to these attempted imaginings were external or internal, it didn't matter. I figured something out, found something, that has helped me weather so many storms in life. It's also kept kept me from truly falling into one dark hole or another (depression being one such 'dark hole', and a foremost concern of mine).

Besides faith and belief, that something which showed me the way was that I care too much for others to simply let go, to just erase myself from the picture. That's my 'light'. That's why I'm still here, still fighting - and living.

I guess you could say that's one of my personal mottoes now - "Find the light within, and you'll find your way," - because I believe it to be true. What shows me the way is different from what will show another person their path, so it's up to you. Someone can guide you in that direction, but if you refuse to acknowledge the signposts, you'll still be lost.

I'm not saying I'm stronger than other people who currently are struggling with various mental and emotional conditions; all I am saying is, I'm stronger than who I was before, and I want to continue to be.

So here's to 2015, and all the years to come.

Of the Harry Potter peeps on the sketchbook, two of them are not my characters, but someone else's; it's just Keiji, my genderbend, who's copyrighted to me.

Hikari/Kris, art (c) FlameWingsDawnslight

Description
All throughout 2014, and even before then, I had ups and downs, as I'm sure a lot of people have had, too. To be completely frank, there were times when I felt like it wasn't worth fighting, when it might be better to just throw in the towel.

I've imagined, often enough before, how it might be if I simply weren't here. No, I didn't imagine ending my life, thank God; I just thought of different situations where there wasn't even a part of the being called 'me', not even the smallest bit. But all those relationships I have with other people - both online and in real life - made it impossible to truly see any scenario without me.

Whether the problems that led to these attempted imaginings were external or internal, it didn't matter. I figured something out, found something, that has helped me weather so many storms in life. It's also kept kept me from truly falling into one dark hole or another (depression being one such 'dark hole', and a foremost concern of mine).

Besides faith and belief, that something which showed me the way was that I care too much for others to simply let go, to just erase myself from the picture. That's my 'light'. That's why I'm still here, still fighting - and living.

I guess you could say that's one of my personal mottoes now - "Find the light within, and you'll find your way," - because I believe it to be true. What shows me the way is different from what will show another person their path, so it's up to you. Someone can guide you in that direction, but if you refuse to acknowledge the signposts, you'll still be lost.

I'm not saying I'm stronger than other people who currently are struggling with various mental and emotional conditions; all I am saying is, I'm stronger than who I was before, and I want to continue to be.

So here's to 2015, and all the years to come.

Of the Harry Potter peeps on the sketchbook, two of them are not my characters, but someone else's; it's just Keiji, my genderbend, who's copyrighted to me.

Hikari/Kris, art (c) FlameWingsDawnslight