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LACYDRAWERS β Remembering Still..
Published: 2010-02-08 11:24:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 1250; Favourites: 58; Downloads: 10
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Description
Take all despair, the fear and painPlace it midst drops, of soft summer rain
Draw a deep breath and hold it within
Cleansing the soul of all mortal sin
Seeing with eyes, the beauty serene
Of moments once gone, and yet to be seen
Dew holds the beginning, of each new day
To be felt as we're blessed in every way
Simple will warm the purest of heart
Greed shows no finish, to what we may start
Temper the want, the may and the please
See what is pure, with hands we may seize
Mistakes of our yesterdays, we leave behind
existing today with kin and our kind
Forging a life, in a future to shine
A journey as seen as yours and as mine..
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Comments: 48
Hm! I thought that was really pretty! I like the way it flowed, and the rhyming was very easy on the eyes and not at all forced.
I really like the theme here, too. While the concept is not entirely original, the poem makes up for this in execution. My only problem with it is the very last line, and the title. To have a proper ellipse, there should be three periods. I think that's all I see wrong with this. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
Overall, the execution was beautiful and the stanzas were well-organized. I also praise you for having good spelling and grammar. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
-Dig
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I really do appreciate you taking the time to write a critique.
I thank you for the positive and have taken on board, what you have stated about my work.
Writing is like a never-ending scream.
It can get your attention or not.
My work is emotional and not all emotion is rational.
I suck up all feedback like a sponge, and I dim none as negative, as we are all different in what we do.
Thank you again....
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Aw! No problem! Thanks for having the guts to put it out there for critique and accepting it gracefully!
That's exactly right. Awesome quote. You just earned some epic points.
I write a lot of emotional stuff, too. Some of it is just freakin' whiny.
Again, no problem, and happy writing! Keep up the good work!
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Wow amazing poem. I wish I'm capable of writing such awesomeness... great job! ^^
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Thank you for the compliment...
Believe in yourself and you can do anything...
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Aww haha thanks ^^ I have trouble believing in myself, though. Parents... raised me in a way that gave me suuper low self-esteem. My friends are trying to fix that. XD
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I am so proud that you think so, thank you...
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Thank you always sweetheart...
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You are so gifted with beautiful words.Another beautiful poem.
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You're most welcome!
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Thank you sweets, I always enjoy hearing from you, my faithful friend...
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Another wonderful piece Trudie!! I'm sorry I'm so behind again!!
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Never say sorry, we all have a life, I am happy whenever you find time, friendship is non-expecting...
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Thanks so much Stroodle-bear....
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Just beautiful, I'm honored...
I've featured this on my page.
Thank you again, dear.
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My pleasure again, from one poet to another...
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Featured here! [link]
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The last two poems are beautiful hun as always love youuuuuuu always
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Awww thanks my buddy.
I hope the next couple will be good too...
Loves ya bucketsload...
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Haha you too sweetie ! Our Gawjussdrawers:
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awww I love that "Gawjussdrawers"
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Hehehe thats it ......your gonna be called that now hehe !Gawjussdrawers
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Awesome poetry my dearest, wow I've been missing to read you, you aleways inspire me!
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Yes, I have been very busy with my work, but I am finding some time now and again. I miss you too...
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Thank you sweet Sean, I loves ya my friend...
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