HOME | DD
Laurence55 —
Tanka Series 10
Published: 2009-09-01 06:05:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 4549; Favourites: 145; Downloads: 50
Redirect to original
Description
1.the shift
of sparrows mid-flight
again
she tells me
it meant nothing
2.
autumn arrives
less subtle
than last year
the time it takes my father
to stand up
3.
long distance love
ending badly
I return
my phone plan
to the cheaper rate
4.
Nana's new husband
out of nowhere!
a swallowtail
floats
through the open door
5.
autumn clouds
hunched
over email chat
I critique a friend's poem
on wildflowers
6.
dead dog
by the roadside
belly up...
I wonder if he too
became a Buddha
7.
family in bed
after another long day
I linger
for my muse
with a bowl of hot miso
8.
early autumn
a pumpkin patch
newly ripe
I dream of seeing tanka
in the schoolbooks
9.
a few rowdy geese
heading south
I mute
the latest argument
over health care
10.
home
after eight years
in Iraq...
my brother now battles
bill collectors
-complete-
Related content
Comments: 165
Thank you! I appreciate the kind words. I'll definitely look at your tanka and give feedback. Its a style that (along with senryu and haiku) is very important to me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sweet! Thanks a bunch 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
1. I absolutely LOVE this--it might be one of my all-time favorite poems, seriously. I read it when you first posted it, and ever since then, these words will occasionally ring through my head for some reason, especially the last two lines. Melodic, poignant, and absurdly beautiful.
2. A powerfully quiet image, resounding with temporality and loss. Just beautiful!
3. The understated, painful ramifications of heartbreak, veiled by a practical monetary consequence; seems like magnitude may be an underlying motif...
4. Startling movement and sudden presence is adroitly conveyed here; I love how new and free everything seems--with words like "floats" and "open"...
5. I love the different seasons depicted here, as well as the contrast between stifling clouds and free wildflowers, and the tie between nature and technology.
6. A quiet, thought-provoking scene; the images created by your words here are singularly powerful.
7. Tangibly warm and comforting; the phrase "I linger" is incredibly lovely...
8. You've created such a wonderful atmosphere here--abundance, hope, and growth all beautifully integrated throughout. I dream of that happening, too!
9. I love how you've contrasted sound here! Exceptionally written and relevant.
10. A biting truth, dishearteningly powerful in its commentary on the way veterans are treated after serving the country. The contrast of two completely different worlds that necessitate the same kind of action from him is just wonderful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
What beautiful readings Natalie! You have a gift for observing how various words build an overall mood within the poem. I had no idea that the first piece in this set was one of your favorites. That piece is actually very personal for me. The readings you gave for 3 and 4 are just stellar and on point as always. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Awesome, Laurence!!! 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
i really wish i could write something so powerful as this.
this is invigorating.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks Cory! I really appreciate your kind words!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
These are simply gorgeous. I won't pretend to know anything about this form, but I think the poems speak for themselves. A well deserved DD.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you! I really appreciate you taking time to read my work
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're quite welcome.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I just love the style this is written in. This poem's wonderful!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
This is really beautiful. I especially like #3. It's very real.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my work
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Beautifull as many have said before!!!...ur use of verses and words is very unique...u brought a new aura to poetry...I LOVE it!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
it's work very worthy of reading and appreciating
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I've gotten quite a few in the past, but thanks!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I really enjoy the set - and #10 to me is a great commentary on how our credit-based society has become such a bastard to those who have given so much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nice reading! I agree. I think its shameful the way veterans are often forgotten in the wake of capitalism.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yes, those bill collectors can be as relentless as political extremists.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ah, congrats, Laurence!! ^o^/ You deserved it. :3
(and don't worry about replying, I'm sure you're getting comments and faves by the droves.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'll always reply to you! thanks
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thought-provoking. #6 and #10 were especially poignant.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed this set!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"a few rowdy geese
heading south
I mute
the latest argument
over health care"
brilliant. highlights the squawking and bird brained arguments over the reform story in the US in a funny way
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nice reading! Yeah, this is actually a variation of the tanka principle. It is known as "kyoka."
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I've always loved tanka, but never had an aptitude for creating them.
You are a wordsmith when it comes to this form.
Bravo.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks! I really appreciate you saying that!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
this is so beautiful, and each stanza is heart-wrenching in its own way
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you! I'm glad you felt this set
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Wow, looks like the Haikuton-ers are having a good year.
Great job nd congrats.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
| Next =>