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Description

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Numb - Linkin Park

This song fits so very well to Jesse and I wanted to draw a picture to it. Trying something out with perspective was challenging, but I'm slowly finding my path to it again.
As to an explanation why this song fits Jesse, let me ellaborate on his role in the family a little:
Jesse is one of the top three Elite members of the family and with 721 years of age also one of the oldest. While Eisblume is regarded as the unquestioned leader due to her being the firstborn and the most clever and wise one, Abigail and Jesse are regarded in such hish positions because of their abilities. Abigail is like the queen of a hive mind with her ability to connect to all the thoughts of everyone she has ever touched. And that all at once. No one can compare to her psychic abilities and she is therefore a very important keypoint in the family's mechanics. Jesse might not have psychic abilities on the level of his sister, but also he has quite remarkable skills which no one shares with him. He can hide his presence completely and that for a very long amount of time. While this makes him perfect for spying missions it also makes him perfect for ambushes and anythign of the like. This however is not his main task. Due to his manipulative personality he can win over almost anyone. It's his task to convince other fae of what his family does and that they should help them. Recruiting Unseelie is no challenge, but when it comes to the mortal loving Seelie Court he faces some immense problems. He is the absolute onyl one who has even a slight chance of convincing those individuals.

Okay, enough backstory on this. Jesse and Abigail both are very unbound when it comes to their task and face more freedom than anyone else. This results in them also being the biggest "threats" to the family. While both of them ARE loyal, they are also still the least loyal of them all, which displeases Eisblume greatly and which she also is sure to tell them as often as possible. Jesse, who hates to be told what to do, despises Eisblume for that. He might be the absolute only one of his family (except the Renegades) who bear a deep hatred for Eisblume (or even dislike her at all for that matter since everyone else sees her as an idol). He often finds himself cursing at traits he shares with Eisblume, that came from her raising him. He is so much like Eisblume in so many ways but still is so much different at the same time. He is kinda stuck between hating Eisblume, hating himself and being loyal to his family still.

And now the moment has come where I can admit that I feel sorry for Jesse.
That's a first. :'D

Despite everything, he is and stays an asshole. But I wanted to dig a little deeper when it comes to his personality. Also I wanted to draw Jesse, I wanted to draw perspective and I wanted to draw autumn trees. So here you go.

Jesse, Eisblume & art © me =Lilafly 2016)

Description

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Numb - Linkin Park

This song fits so very well to Jesse and I wanted to draw a picture to it. Trying something out with perspective was challenging, but I'm slowly finding my path to it again.
As to an explanation why this song fits Jesse, let me ellaborate on his role in the family a little:
Jesse is one of the top three Elite members of the family and with 721 years of age also one of the oldest. While Eisblume is regarded as the unquestioned leader due to her being the firstborn and the most clever and wise one, Abigail and Jesse are regarded in such hish positions because of their abilities. Abigail is like the queen of a hive mind with her ability to connect to all the thoughts of everyone she has ever touched. And that all at once. No one can compare to her psychic abilities and she is therefore a very important keypoint in the family's mechanics. Jesse might not have psychic abilities on the level of his sister, but also he has quite remarkable skills which no one shares with him. He can hide his presence completely and that for a very long amount of time. While this makes him perfect for spying missions it also makes him perfect for ambushes and anythign of the like. This however is not his main task. Due to his manipulative personality he can win over almost anyone. It's his task to convince other fae of what his family does and that they should help them. Recruiting Unseelie is no challenge, but when it comes to the mortal loving Seelie Court he faces some immense problems. He is the absolute onyl one who has even a slight chance of convincing those individuals.

Okay, enough backstory on this. Jesse and Abigail both are very unbound when it comes to their task and face more freedom than anyone else. This results in them also being the biggest "threats" to the family. While both of them ARE loyal, they are also still the least loyal of them all, which displeases Eisblume greatly and which she also is sure to tell them as often as possible. Jesse, who hates to be told what to do, despises Eisblume for that. He might be the absolute only one of his family (except the Renegades) who bear a deep hatred for Eisblume (or even dislike her at all for that matter since everyone else sees her as an idol). He often finds himself cursing at traits he shares with Eisblume, that came from her raising him. He is so much like Eisblume in so many ways but still is so much different at the same time. He is kinda stuck between hating Eisblume, hating himself and being loyal to his family still.

And now the moment has come where I can admit that I feel sorry for Jesse.
That's a first. :'D

Despite everything, he is and stays an asshole. But I wanted to dig a little deeper when it comes to his personality. Also I wanted to draw Jesse, I wanted to draw perspective and I wanted to draw autumn trees. So here you go.

Jesse, Eisblume & art © me =Lilafly 2016)